Hades Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 I read a thread just now where the poster talked about how he cried out to God. It was incredibly refreshing ... until I realized it wasn't genuine. So for those of us who are genuine and do have a heart for God ... this is for you. Often times people turn to God as a last resort ... He should be your first! I walked away from the love of my life of 5 years days before Christmas and have remained strong and focused with zero contact with the peace of God in my heart. I received such strong confirmation to let go after days of prayer. God is SO good! The ONLY thing you can do is let go and let God. There have been times when I break down and cry or feel sadness and I think that is normal, but the sense of peace I feel is amazing. Keep pressing and allow the presence of the Lord to fill your heart. The bible says when you draw near to God, He will draw near to you. It also says that when you are broken-hearted, He is close to you. I'm not sure my X is or isn't the one for me. However, I am certain, this isn't the right time for us. So I let go and gave it to God. The hurt, the pain, sorrow, tears, frustration, anxiety, worry and anything else you are struggling with. Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you. It's a win-win situation, you see. He will restore and repair our relationship or He will give me something greater. So for me, my focus is on myself and on my relationship with God. Stay rooted and have FAITH. Trust in God. Love isn't when you keep holding on ... it's when you learn to let go. Link to post Share on other sites
isitme1 Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 There i s a reason why the GOD has me where I am at and the reason where GOD has my ex at...I am trying to leave it in his hands...the hard part is letting go...but I will and thats when I will feel peace in my heart... Link to post Share on other sites
Jake99 Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13 Link to post Share on other sites
desertIslandCactus Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Beautiful posts .. and refers to everything in life. A great reminder and to start this new year on the right track .. Link to post Share on other sites
homebrew Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 (edited) Hades, Since you are religious... I have a couple of book suggestions for you. "Captivating" by John Eldredge and Stasi Eldredge Several of my girl-friends / sisters have read it... so I did too (even though it's a book for women). They LOVED it and it helped them out a great deal in their dating life / men they dated. Review John Eldredge became the Robert Bly of evangelicalism with his blockbuster Wild at Heart. Now he teams up with his wife, Stasi, to encourage women to connect with their deepest desires. To facilitate this, the Eldredges reveal in the first chapter what every woman's three core desires are: to be romanced, to play a role in her own adventures and to display beauty. (This formula will be familiar to Eldredge's fans, as Wild at Heart offered a similar tripartite model of men's desires.) The rest of the book is an extended reflection on these three impulses. Drawing heavily on popular films to prove their points, the Eldredges warn that most women tend to become either controlling or needy. Godly women, in contrast, should see God as the ultimate lover, and look to Eve (and not, say, J. Lo) as their model. Also, women should form close, intimate friendships with one another, à la Ruth and Naomi or the ladies in Fried Green Tomatoes. Bestselling author John Eldredge and his wife and co-author, Stasi, unveil the beauty and mystery of the feminine soul by showing readers the three core desires of every woman’s heart. Every little girl has dreams of being swept up into a great adventure, of being the beautiful princess. Sadly, when women grow up, they are often swept up into a life filled merely with duty and demands. Many Christian women are tired, struggling under the weight of the pressure to be a "good servant," a nurturing caregiver, or a capable home manager. What Wild at Heart did for men, Captivating can do for women. This groundbreaking book shows readers the glorious design of women before the fall, describes how the feminine heart can be restored, and casts a vision for the power, freedom, and beauty of a woman released to be all she was meant to be. By revealing the core desires every woman shares—to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a grand adventure, and to unveil beauty— John and Stasi Eldredge invite women to recover their feminine hearts, created in the image of an intimate and passionate God. Further, they encourage men to discover the secret of a woman’s soul and to delight in the beauty and strength women were created to offer. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ After reading it... I can tell you... that I want a "Captivating" women! Another good book which I have also read and would suggest reading is: "In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want" by Iyanla Vanzant Overview: What is the meantime? According to author and inspirational speaker Iyanla Vanzant, being in the "meantime" means being in a state of limbo. "When you are not happy where you are and you are not quite sure if you want to leave or how to leave, you are in the meantime," she explains. Rather than wallow in confusion, Vanzant encourages you to use the meantime as an opportunity to prepare yourself for true love. The first order of business is to clean house, starting with the basement--the place in the psyche where you store your most destructive thoughts. Room by room, Vanzant takes you through a metaphorical cleaning of the soul. This way, when your meantime days are over and love finally comes knocking on the front door, you'll have a clean house to welcome love into. Self-help counselor Vanzant talks about creative and honest use of the "meantime" between relationships to help women (and men) avoid repeating unproductive behaviors of the past. She uses the metaphor of a house, starting in the basement with "willingness" and acknowledging that one has a problem. Next is the first floor, to identify the nature of the problem. On the second floor is trust, what to do about the problem. Finally, on the third floor, one "learns how to do what you know." That is, one possesses the inner resources to overcome the tendency to repeat past responses to situations. Vanzant reads this abridgment of her work with a tone that conveys empathy and no-nonsense, this-is-good-for-you advice. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I learned a lot by reading this book too. Hope this helps! Edited January 2, 2011 by homebrew Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hades Posted January 2, 2011 Author Share Posted January 2, 2011 Hades, Since you are religious... I have a couple of book suggestions for you. "Captivating" by John Eldredge and Stasi Eldredge Several of my girl-friends / sisters have read it... so I did too (even though it's a book for women). They LOVED it and it helped them out a great deal in their dating life / men they dated. Review John Eldredge became the Robert Bly of evangelicalism with his blockbuster Wild at Heart. Now he teams up with his wife, Stasi, to encourage women to connect with their deepest desires. To facilitate this, the Eldredges reveal in the first chapter what every woman's three core desires are: to be romanced, to play a role in her own adventures and to display beauty. (This formula will be familiar to Eldredge's fans, as Wild at Heart offered a similar tripartite model of men's desires.) The rest of the book is an extended reflection on these three impulses. Drawing heavily on popular films to prove their points, the Eldredges warn that most women tend to become either controlling or needy. Godly women, in contrast, should see God as the ultimate lover, and look to Eve (and not, say, J. Lo) as their model. Also, women should form close, intimate friendships with one another, à la Ruth and Naomi or the ladies in Fried Green Tomatoes. Bestselling author John Eldredge and his wife and co-author, Stasi, unveil the beauty and mystery of the feminine soul by showing readers the three core desires of every woman’s heart. Every little girl has dreams of being swept up into a great adventure, of being the beautiful princess. Sadly, when women grow up, they are often swept up into a life filled merely with duty and demands. Many Christian women are tired, struggling under the weight of the pressure to be a "good servant," a nurturing caregiver, or a capable home manager. What Wild at Heart did for men, Captivating can do for women. This groundbreaking book shows readers the glorious design of women before the fall, describes how the feminine heart can be restored, and casts a vision for the power, freedom, and beauty of a woman released to be all she was meant to be. By revealing the core desires every woman shares—to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a grand adventure, and to unveil beauty— John and Stasi Eldredge invite women to recover their feminine hearts, created in the image of an intimate and passionate God. Further, they encourage men to discover the secret of a woman’s soul and to delight in the beauty and strength women were created to offer. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ After reading it... I can tell you... that I want a "Captivating" women! Another good book which I have also read and would suggest reading is: "In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want" by Iyanla Vanzant Overview: What is the meantime? According to author and inspirational speaker Iyanla Vanzant, being in the "meantime" means being in a state of limbo. "When you are not happy where you are and you are not quite sure if you want to leave or how to leave, you are in the meantime," she explains. Rather than wallow in confusion, Vanzant encourages you to use the meantime as an opportunity to prepare yourself for true love. The first order of business is to clean house, starting with the basement--the place in the psyche where you store your most destructive thoughts. Room by room, Vanzant takes you through a metaphorical cleaning of the soul. This way, when your meantime days are over and love finally comes knocking on the front door, you'll have a clean house to welcome love into. Self-help counselor Vanzant talks about creative and honest use of the "meantime" between relationships to help women (and men) avoid repeating unproductive behaviors of the past. She uses the metaphor of a house, starting in the basement with "willingness" and acknowledging that one has a problem. Next is the first floor, to identify the nature of the problem. On the second floor is trust, what to do about the problem. Finally, on the third floor, one "learns how to do what you know." That is, one possesses the inner resources to overcome the tendency to repeat past responses to situations. Vanzant reads this abridgment of her work with a tone that conveys empathy and no-nonsense, this-is-good-for-you advice. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I learned a lot by reading this book too. Hope this helps! Religion vs. spirituality ... I have a relationship with God. Religion is man made ... Have you ever heard of this quote: A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her? Thanks, homebrew! I am an avid reader. Currently enjoying: Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I'll check out these suggestions ... Link to post Share on other sites
homebrew Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 (edited) Religion vs. spirituality ... I have a relationship with God. Religion is man made ... Have you ever heard of this quote: A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her? Thanks, homebrew! I am an avid reader. Currently enjoying: Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I'll check out these suggestions ... I have read Crazy Love too. Good book! As far as which term to use Religion vs. spirituality... I am not into the legalistic stuff... I.E. - I don't "major" on the "minor ". For me... God knows my heart, my intentions, my motives... Edited January 2, 2011 by homebrew Link to post Share on other sites
LoveBug1989 Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 God has really brought nothing into my life but dispair, pain, loss, and confusion, so I do not turn to him, but rather myself and my inner strength, but I am glad that you have found peace in that. I hope you continue to grow and heal as time goes on Link to post Share on other sites
SithLord Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 im not religious and im not here to disrespect anybody views on God. I just personally believe in "the person" taking themselves out the situation and experiencing the world for what it really is. Working with two hands will take one a lot further than a prayer. Link to post Share on other sites
Jake99 Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 im not religious and im not here to disrespect anybody views on God. I just personally believe in "the person" taking themselves out the situation and experiencing the world for what it really is. Working with two hands will take one a lot further than a prayer. SithLord, I say say this with respect to you and the person you are. Two working hands can't mend a broken heart but prayer can and does. I have seen first hand what prayer can do and the effects it has on individuals. I don't attend church and haven't for many years, but I can stand here and say there is a loving God who watches over us. Link to post Share on other sites
SithLord Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Again I dont want to state a debate because people need hope in a fictional character. I dont understand why people credit "God" for all the good, but take blame for all the "Bad"... Nobody will be taking about God if people werent condition as children to believe in "it" But again if thats what works for you. Kudos to u. Link to post Share on other sites
Jake99 Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Again I dont want to state a debate because people need hope in a fictional character. I dont understand why people credit "God" for all the good, but take blame for all the "Bad"... Nobody will be taking about God if people werent condition as children to believe in "it" But again if thats what works for you. Kudos to u. You appear to wish a debate when you suggest that God is not fictional. You are correct that you don't understand why people credit God for good and take blame for the bad. I suggest you take a moment to educate yourself with the Bible before you decide to pass judgement on those who believe. I know many, many people who were never "conditioned" as children to believe in Christ. Respectfully...Jake99 Link to post Share on other sites
2010_Sorry Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 I read a thread just now where the poster talked about how he cried out to God. It was incredibly refreshing ... until I realized it wasn't genuine. So for those of us who are genuine and do have a heart for God ... this is for you. Often times people turn to God as a last resort ... He should be your first! I walked away from the love of my life of 5 years days before Christmas and have remained strong and focused with zero contact with the peace of God in my heart. I received such strong confirmation to let go after days of prayer. God is SO good! The ONLY thing you can do is let go and let God. There have been times when I break down and cry or feel sadness and I think that is normal, but the sense of peace I feel is amazing. Keep pressing and allow the presence of the Lord to fill your heart. The bible says when you draw near to God, He will draw near to you. It also says that when you are broken-hearted, He is close to you. I'm not sure my X is or isn't the one for me. However, I am certain, this isn't the right time for us. So I let go and gave it to God. The hurt, the pain, sorrow, tears, frustration, anxiety, worry and anything else you are struggling with. Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you. It's a win-win situation, you see. He will restore and repair our relationship or He will give me something greater. So for me, my focus is on myself and on my relationship with God. Stay rooted and have FAITH. Trust in God. Love isn't when you keep holding on ... it's when you learn to let go. I know the post you're referring to... and you're absolutely right. Faith and trust that God is preparing us today for His plans for us tomorrow gets me through the tough days. Prayer for strength and acceptance of His will, and not our own is truly what keeps me going.... Thanks for this post Hades! Link to post Share on other sites
SithLord Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 I am, believe me. But again if u need hope, you pick the perfect person. You appear to wish a debate when you suggest that God is not fictional. You are correct that you don't understand why people credit God for good and take blame for the bad. I suggest you take a moment to educate yourself with the Bible before you decide to pass judgement on those who believe. I know many, many people who were never "conditioned" as children to believe in Christ. Respectfully...Jake99 Link to post Share on other sites
RomoGuy Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Hello Hades, I was told that you could help me out with some advice, can you please take a look at my thread and help me, thank you. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t259492/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hades Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 God is love. So he that has love in his heart, well, has God ... Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 SithLord, I say say this with respect to you and the person you are. Two working hands can't mend a broken heart but prayer can and does. I have seen first hand what prayer can do and the effects it has on individuals. I don't attend church and haven't for many years, but I can stand here and say there is a loving God who watches over us. So does introspection, reflection and personal effort. Simply talking to a best friend or a therapist can provide the same sort of solace to those that don't have religious or spiritual ties. I can attest to the benefits of those practices. I've never been remotely spiritual or religious- but I've found great comfort in self reflection. I also find comfort knowing that I have the power to make my own choices and guide my own life through those choices. I don't like the idea of "destiny" because it means accepting that things are out of my control. I think that if you live your life accepting that things are the way they are because of some divine plan already mapped out for you, you remove the power that choices can offer you. I've been through some really dark times, and coming out on top because I've put forth the effort to overcome those obstacles is liberating. I like knowing that I have the tools and the power to accomplish positive outcomes in my life through the hard work I put forth to achieve my own happiness. I don't deny that religion can offer people peace- people find comfort in a myriad of ways, and none of them are right or wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Jake99 Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 So does introspection, reflection and personal effort. Simply talking to a best friend or a therapist can provide the same sort of solace to those that don't have religious or spiritual ties. I can attest to the benefits of those practices. I've never been remotely spiritual or religious- but I've found great comfort in self reflection. I also find comfort knowing that I have the power to make my own choices and guide my own life through those choices. I don't like the idea of "destiny" because it means accepting that things are out of my control. I think that if you live your life accepting that things are the way they are because of some divine plan already mapped out for you, you remove the power that choices can offer you. I've been through some really dark times, and coming out on top because I've put forth the effort to overcome those obstacles is liberating. I like knowing that I have the tools and the power to accomplish positive outcomes in my life through the hard work I put forth to achieve my own happiness. I don't deny that religion can offer people peace- people find comfort in a myriad of ways, and none of them are right or wrong. D-Lish, Thank you for your comments, I really appreciated reading what you suggest. I only disagree with the interpretation of a divine map already planned out for people. I have a faith in God and I believe that He gives us free will to make our choices. I respect that people aren't going to agree with a religious aspect and people work out troubled times in their own ways. I know that God is there and prayer has been very helpful and positive for me. For those who chose a different way, great as long as they find the healing they need. Thanks again for your comments. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 D-Lish, Thank you for your comments, I really appreciated reading what you suggest. I only disagree with the interpretation of a divine map already planned out for people. I have a faith in God and I believe that He gives us free will to make our choices. I respect that people aren't going to agree with a religious aspect and people work out troubled times in their own ways. I know that God is there and prayer has been very helpful and positive for me. For those who chose a different way, great as long as they find the healing they need. Thanks again for your comments. Don't get me wrong, I don't suggest it as THE ONLY way to find inner peace! I recognize and respect that everyone has their own coping methods. There are many ways to find comfort and no one has the right to tell someone else that their method isn't the right way. In a dark time, whether it's prayer or introspection, it doesn't matter, neither is wrong. Healing is positive regardless, and personal happiness is really all that matters in the grand scheme of things. Link to post Share on other sites
comethemorning Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 One of the most important lessons that one can learn is, sometimes, the answer to a prayer, is NO. Does this mean that there is no God? No, it means that like as the loving Father that He is, He knows what is best for us, what the future holds for us, and that the thing that we most desire "right now" may not be in our best interest. Therefore, the answer, is NO. And yet like the petulant child, we stomp our feet and throw a tantrum. Those of us who are parents know this reaction well due to the many times that we have had to tell our own children, NO. Do we tell our own children NO because we want them to be miserable? No, we tell them NO because having lived through the many experiences we have, we become wiser (hopefully) to the ways of the world and all it encompasses. We know that a 'little pain now' is better than the 'greater pain later'. Do our children always listen? No. And as parents we sit back with a heavy heart as our child faces the consequences of not heeding the NO. That is 'free will'. As we are God's children, he treats us as any loving Father would. Just as we as parents do not like to see our own children suffer, neither does He. If only we could understand, that sometimes, the answer is NO. And that it really is for our own good. Only with Time, will we understand the reason for this or that particular NO. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hades Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 One of the most important lessons that one can learn is, sometimes, the answer to a prayer, is NO. Does this mean that there is no God? No, it means that like as the loving Father that He is, He knows what is best for us, what the future holds for us, and that the thing that we most desire "right now" may not be in our best interest. Therefore, the answer, is NO. And yet like the petulant child, we stomp our feet and throw a tantrum. Those of us who are parents know this reaction well due to the many times that we have had to tell our own children, NO. Do we tell our own children NO because we want them to be miserable? No, we tell them NO because having lived through the many experiences we have, we become wiser (hopefully) to the ways of the world and all it encompasses. We know that a 'little pain now' is better than the 'greater pain later'. Do our children always listen? No. And as parents we sit back with a heavy heart as our child faces the consequences of not heeding the NO. That is 'free will'. As we are God's children, he treats us as any loving Father would. Just as we as parents do not like to see our own children suffer, neither does He. If only we could understand, that sometimes, the answer is NO. And that it really is for our own good. Only with Time, will we understand the reason for this or that particular NO. Thank you for this very uplifting post! Link to post Share on other sites
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