So unsure about 6 year relationship ( womens oppinions needed )

[alaskanights]

I cant believe I found something that explains exactly what i am going through.

I am a 21 year old girl. I have been with my partner for 6 years now since we were 15. I have always felt he was the only one for me.

We have a great relationship, and he does anything for me.

He left his family, friends and his job to move to my city (1 hour away) to be with me.

We have bought 2 houses together and have 2 dogs.

We are engaged and have been for 2 years. We never set a date because the marriage part wasn't actually that important to either of us.

 

Through our time together we have done everything together and never left each others sides (because thats what I wanted). I couldnt stand being away from him for any length of time.

We had 1 mutual hobby that we would do, but apart from that pretty much just chilled at home with each other. We never go out to clubs or pubs or anything as neither of us drink.

 

He is ready for us to start a family..he really wants kids. He has wanted them for years, and its all hes ever wanted. I knew this since the start of our relationship and thought thats what I wanted too.

 

About a month ago my friend asked me to go out with her, so I decided for the first time I would go. We went to a club, had some drinks, and danced all night.

I had the most amazing night I had had in such a long time it was so much fun.

When I got home the next day, I felt like I had completely changed.

All I could think of was that I wanted to go out again because it was so much fun.

A month down the track now and I am so confused about everything.

I have no problem being away from by BF, and when I am away from him I don't think about him really, I just enjoy having my own space.

I don't know why I am feeling like this because my bf is like perfect.

Like I said he gave up everything for me, he does anything I ask, he treats me perfectly, and we never really fight. I know he would do anything for me and I know he loves me with his whole heart.

I know I love him, so I don't know whats going on with me.

I don't feel any "spark" or "passion" between us.

 

I have never dated or even kissed another guy before, and I find myself wondering what it would be like.

I know I wont find someone who treats me better then my bf does.

 

I dont know what to do. I asked him for space and he said if we had space we would just be over for good.

 

I dont want to hurt him, i just feel so lost and confused in my life like I dont know who I am.

I just want space to see what else is out there for me but I cant follow this desire because as you have posted in previous posts..later on I will probably come crawling back for the love he shows me.

 

I just feel like I don't have my own identity anymore I guess.

I am not sure of exactly who I am, and I just feel like I need space by myself to sort this out.

He doesn't understand this and says the only reason I would need to be by myself is so that I can see other people.

I don't want to have a relationship with anyone else..I just want to be by myself for a while so that I know that the person I am when I am with him, is the person I actually am by myself as well..

 

I just don't know if I'm brave enough to take the risk of losing him, when hes literally my whole life.

 

But like you said..I think staying and not doing anything I am going to resent him, and he doesn't deserve that either.

 

I realy need all the help I can get so please, help me.

If you want any more info just say so and Ill post it.

Im just so confused

[homebrew]

Ladies,

 

alaskanights found my post about G.I.G.S. that is what lead her to LS.

 

I had G.I.G.S. when I was a little bit younger than her... I will offer what advice I can but being I am a guy... I do not think it is 100% the same for a women as it is for a man.

 

Please... If you were dumped due to someone with G.I.G.S. do not take it out on this nice young lady!

 

Let's try and help her figure how what is best for her, offer advice, suggestions so that she can decide what is best for her.

 

Thanks!

 

Note: If you don't know what G.I.G.S. is... click on the link in my signature.

[homebrew]

alaskanights... Thanks for posting.

 

Keep checking back... over the next few days there will be a lot of responses.

 

Green has some interesting advice but I am not sure it will address / solve your issue. Why? I don't see how you can find your own sense of self or discover your own identity just by rubbing and kissing another man on a dance floor.

 

Anyway...

 

I would keep writing out your feelings or questions as you read through these comments... so the women can best help you.

 

As a man, I am very impressed with how you are going about this. You really care about your BF and the relationship. You have uncovered an "issue" that you have... You shared and made him aware of it. That is very kind, honest and brave of you. I wish there were more people like you out there. I also think you are wise to look beyond what you know and think and to seek advise / guidance from others.

Edited January 2, 2011 by homebrew

[alaskanights]

He did come out for the first time just last night but when my best friends bf came over to say hello and give me a hug my bf got so angry. He started getting really upset with me for that so we end up just leaving because you couldn't dance without at least 1 guy being near u so he was angry. He has told me now that since I said I still need space after he said it would be over that he cannot trust me at all. I went to my friends house today , I was there less than 3 hours and he called me 3 times just to make sure that's where I really was. Also I was talking to my male friend on facebook chat, who im good friends with so he found this guys phone number and called him to tell him to leave me alone. I think he is becoming really paranoid and possessive because he feels me pulling away. I understand that but that behavior is not helping the situation.

One more thing, he said since he can't trust me anymore that if I go on the laptop he has to be able to see everything I'm doing . If I get a message he has to be allowed to read it before me.

Sorry I didn't mention this earlier I'm just adding everything as I think of it.

 

Before I Said I needed space he wasn't like this at all I had the same guy friends I have now, but he didn't care. Now he thinks I must like them as more than just friends.

 

As for your question.. Guys have danced with me and like rubbed against me. I moved away from all of them except one of them , who gave me butterflies lol. We just danced tho nothing more, it was just a bit of fun.

 

And I definitely welcome guys opinions as well as girls!

Thanks everyone

[Leandro]

Well. When you told him that you needed space, he probably felt like you were already seeing someone and wanted to take that space time to see where that other guy goes. That's probably why he got mad when you hugged your friend and danced on the floor. Also explains the laptop thing.

 

Like you said, you will begin to resent him as you stay with him.

 

You might regret leaving him, you might not. But once you leave him, you can forget about ever being with him again. It's a risk you're going to have to take.

 

I think you're very mature for coming here and talking about it and getting advice. More mature than my ex. .

[2010_Sorry]

Leandro is absolutely right. You are very mature to come here and ask for advice. You are also mature in that you recognize and question your feelings about this "new life" you have found and are being respectful with your boyfriend about it.

 

There are so many other 21 year old women that would have actually kissed another man, or worse.... and only then called it off with their boyfriends. On the flip side, there are also so many other 21 year old women that marry their long time boyfriends, have lots of kids... just to find out 10 years later that they missed out on the youth of their lives.

 

I don't think you need much advice at all. You want to cut loose and have a little fun, but you don't want to hurt him. Asking for space is the best thing you can do.

[TheGrimSweeper]

Having gone through this with my ex girlfriend twice, I can say that he is getting very insecure because he feels you pulling away. Hes not acting like himself.

 

He will not understand at first and will think its cause you have somebody else lined up. Give him time after the breakup and he will hopefully for his sake better understand whats going on. It took me a couple months to finally understand and I had to come to this forum to really know what was happening. What your going through is incredibly common with women (and to a lesser extent men) in their early 20's. You've been in a long wonderful relationship, love the person but just feel like your missing out on your youth as it already feels like your married. I bet you think you could see him together with you in the future but not right now?

 

But you do need to break up with him, or else this feeling inside you will keep growing and getting worse. But you have to understand that you do risk losing him forever if you do decide to end it (especially if you want to sleep around a bit). You cant expect him to be friends after. Its not possible to just step down and be friends with someone your in love with. I tried and it was the most hard and painful thing I did when my girlfriend ended it for the same reasons as you almost. If you dump him you may come to regret it a few months down the line and want him back, whether he will come back or not who knows, he could be gone but you do have to break up with him as you need to figure all this out for yourself.

[cboy90]

The fact that you want to go out dancing and with other guys and have fun is perfectly normal at your age.

 

However, coming from a guys POV, I can say that some guys don't care if their GF is dancing with other guys, some do care. Some guys would consider this a form of cheating. Basically because another guy would be grinding up on you and running his hands all through your body.

 

Guys strive to be the alpha male. Always protecting the people we love and sticking up for the ones we care about. We can be really territorial. This is where he has a problem with it (which is reasonable).

 

This has happened to me. My very first GF(now ex) were dating in highschool at the age of 17 and just recently broke up 2 months ago (now were both 20, almost 21). We were each others first everything and treated each other with utmost care and respect. She would get jealous if another girl was even trying to touch me or try to pick me up (her jealously was a real turn on to me, showed me that she cared). And I was the same way. We were both ready to commit (or so I thought) and ready to move in together this coming February and finally start our lives together.

 

After she broke up with me she did a complete 180. Started going to the bars, doing things she didn't EVER do before. Dated a guy the very day she left me who was a complete loser in every way, loved the club scene and drinking. And was different than me in every way possible.

 

If you do break up with him, which I think you should, be prepared to lose him.....For good! He may never come back or ever trust you ever again. I am in the same boat as him. If she comes back, will I ever be able to trust her again? Will she do it all over again?

 

Be prepared to lose everything. But, its better you break up with him now than 10 years down the road when your living in a house together and possibly have kids.

[goldenrainbow]

Sometimes this happens when you commit with someone at a young age. You were only 15, you are now 21 and have probably realized that some gfriends of yours are single and living a life you would like to live, and that does not include your boyfriend. And that feeling is perfectly natural, you are missing a stage of your life: the single life.

 

cboy90 is right, you will probably lose him, now it's your choice only. You can't just hope him to stand quietly on a side and wait for you to live those moments while he waits for you (how would you react if it was the other way round?) I'm not saying this to criticise you, no way, I totally understand your doubts and how you feel (I got married very young).

 

You asked for women's opinion and here goes mine: break up with him for good and go and live the life you NEED to live now.

If he is to show up again in your life someday, it will happen. The "taking a break" thing does not work or even if it does, it brings consequences. Let him go. You can't say you won't regret losing him one day, but you certainly will regret not having lived the life you want to.

[westrock]

You sound mature for your age and I commend you for taking the time to think about these issues. You've received some great advice from the other posters. I want to give a different perspective to give you some more to think about.

 

Through our time together we have done everything together and never left each others sides (because thats what I wanted). I couldnt stand being away from him for any length of time.

We had 1 mutual hobby that we would do, but apart from that pretty much just chilled at home with each other. We never go out to clubs or pubs or anything as neither of us drink.

In reading your story it sounds to me that you and your b/f were spending way too much time together. That actually is not healthy for a relationship and it's no wonder you have lost your identity as you've described.

 

You can break up with him, but it doesn't seem like that is what you really want to do otherwise you would have done it already.

 

It seems that you are struggling in trying to figure out how to be in a relationship with your b/f, but also how to have some space to regain your own identity. You can have both. Breaking up is one solution, but it is also possible for you to be able to find your identity without having to break up.

 

It's okay to go out with your g/f's periodically for fun and do things away from your b/f and him too with his friends (as long as you two remain faithful and don't do anything inappropriate), but it sounds like you never really had a chance to go out like that until now. Understandably your b/f is worried that you wanting time means you are breaking up with him.

 

I just want space to see what else is out there for me but I cant follow this desire because as you have posted in previous posts..later on I will probably come crawling back for the love he shows me.

 

This is a reasonable desire especially at your age. However, ask yourself why do you want to see what else is out there. Are you wondering if there is someone better? By your own words you already know that you will probably come crawling back. But, if you break up with him, don't think he will wait around. It's a risk you need to figure out for yourself whether you want to take. Whatever you decide will be the right decision for you.

 

If you want to stay together, the key to resolving your issues with your b/f is through communications. Sit down and have a talk with him. It's not going to be an easy talk, but since the two of you have been together so long, you need to express your needs to him while at the same time assuring him your reasons and how it will actually strengthen the relationship if handled properly. Address his concerns. Come up with a plan together. This doesn't mean you get to do whatever you want. You still have to remain faithful.

[Xero8780]

the same thing just happened to me with my ex gf. We had been dating for 2.5 years, go to school together, and spent allllllll of the time together. Things had been going great, we never fought, love each other, and then one day out of nowhere, after we had a great lunch, she just had a breakdown and broke up with me basically for the reasons you are listing...

 

wanted to see what it would be like to single, felt like some of the spark had been lost, felt like we were living the life of a married couple at 21 (spending all of our time together, etc.).

 

Its been 1.5 months. From a guys perspective it is verrrry painful, but probably better than being in a relationship and getting cheated on.

 

While you have dated for 6 and we only dated for 2.5 your situation sounds almost identical to ours. I am sorry I can't really give you advice other than to let you know that this is a common feeling amongst women it seems. For me, as the guy who got dumped, its very confusing, but we all gotta do what is right for us.

[TheGrimSweeper]

the same thing just happened to me with my ex gf. We had been dating for 2.5 years, go to school together, and spent allllllll of the time together. Things had been going great, we never fought, love each other, and then one day out of nowhere, after we had a great lunch, she just had a breakdown and broke up with me basically for the reasons you are listing...

 

wanted to see what it would be like to single, felt like some of the spark had been lost, felt like we were living the life of a married couple at 21 (spending all of our time together, etc.).

 

Its been 1.5 months. From a guys perspective it is verrrry painful, but probably better than being in a relationship and getting cheated on.

 

While you have dated for 6 and we only dated for 2.5 your situation sounds almost identical to ours. I am sorry I can't really give you advice other than to let you know that this is a common feeling amongst women it seems. For me, as the guy who got dumped, its very confusing, but we all gotta do what is right for us.

 

 

Alaska sounds absolutely identical to my ex too. But we at least have an understanding between us now.

 

Its horrible getting dumped by someone going through this, as its incredibly confusing as there's seemingly nothing wrong. You'll spend weeks trying to figure out what you did wrong and why it happened even tho it may have been nothing at all. I understand why my ex did it now, she wasn't happy and wanted to go out and prove to herself that she can live and make it on her own in the world without being so dependent on me. It sucks, my heart still aches all the time, I miss her incredibly and shes always on my mind but I can understand why she did it.

[soleharmony1123]

Hi Alaskanights,

 

You said you and your BF have been together since you both were 15, which means the two of you have only been with each other, I assume.

 

I don't think it's been advantageous that you both dated exclusively beginning at such an early age. I'm not advocating you go out and go man-crazy, but you really have not experienced life apart from your BF and the relationship you have with him, right?

 

My suggestion is that you gain some independence from this relationship. I am not encouraging you to break up with your BF; however, I believe gaining more life experience would be valuable to both of you. Gaining life experience doesn't mean you become someone's quick lay, either. No disrespect, but I just want to make it clear that I'm not promoting that type of lifestyle. To each his own.

 

Hang out with your friends, work on a hobby, find all kinds of interesting things to do. Research the net for interesting things you can do together and individually. People need private time to themselves when in a relationship. When both people are out experiencing new things, meeting new people, developing new ideas, etc., that means both partners have something new to contribute to the relationship.

 

As for marriage, that is a very big step.. I've seen many marriages with young adults ranging from 20-25 years of age just crumble in a matter of months - most barely survive 1-2 years, if they get that far. Between that age bracket you're really just beginning to know yourself and some of what life has to offer. I have a 24-year old going through a divorce, so it's just knowing from experience that young marriages often don't succeed unless you've got two very mature, dedicated young people.

 

Those sweet little beings that goo and coo at you called babies are not the prescription for marital happiness. They often seem like they would have the magnetism that binds a couple together "til death to us part" but some times the parting is done months before the baby is due.

 

Again, I'm not suggesting in any way that a breakup is the cure-all for your relationship. I believe there are other ways you can both "branch out" and meet other people yet remain a couple.

 

I hope you're not offended with how I come across. I just wanted to throw some things out there for you to ponder over, and I hope I didn't come across as "preachy." That's not my intent.

 

I hope things work out for you!

 

 

I cant believe I found something that explains exactly what i am going through.

I am a 21 year old girl. I have been with my partner for 6 years now since we were 15. I have always felt he was the only one for me.

We have a great relationship, and he does anything for me.

He left his family, friends and his job to move to my city (1 hour away) to be with me.

We have bought 2 houses together and have 2 dogs.

We are engaged and have been for 2 years. We never set a date because the marriage part wasn't actually that important to either of us.

 

Through our time together we have done everything together and never left each others sides (because thats what I wanted). I couldnt stand being away from him for any length of time.

We had 1 mutual hobby that we would do, but apart from that pretty much just chilled at home with each other. We never go out to clubs or pubs or anything as neither of us drink.

 

He is ready for us to start a family..he really wants kids. He has wanted them for years, and its all hes ever wanted. I knew this since the start of our relationship and thought thats what I wanted too.

 

About a month ago my friend asked me to go out with her, so I decided for the first time I would go. We went to a club, had some drinks, and danced all night.

I had the most amazing night I had had in such a long time it was so much fun.

When I got home the next day, I felt like I had completely changed.

All I could think of was that I wanted to go out again because it was so much fun.

A month down the track now and I am so confused about everything.

I have no problem being away from by BF, and when I am away from him I don't think about him really, I just enjoy having my own space.

I don't know why I am feeling like this because my bf is like perfect.

Like I said he gave up everything for me, he does anything I ask, he treats me perfectly, and we never really fight. I know he would do anything for me and I know he loves me with his whole heart.

I know I love him, so I don't know whats going on with me.

I don't feel any "spark" or "passion" between us.

 

I have never dated or even kissed another guy before, and I find myself wondering what it would be like.

I know I wont find someone who treats me better then my bf does.

 

I dont know what to do. I asked him for space and he said if we had space we would just be over for good.

 

I dont want to hurt him, i just feel so lost and confused in my life like I dont know who I am.

I just want space to see what else is out there for me but I cant follow this desire because as you have posted in previous posts..later on I will probably come crawling back for the love he shows me.

 

I just feel like I don't have my own identity anymore I guess.

I am not sure of exactly who I am, and I just feel like I need space by myself to sort this out.

He doesn't understand this and says the only reason I would need to be by myself is so that I can see other people.

I don't want to have a relationship with anyone else..I just want to be by myself for a while so that I know that the person I am when I am with him, is the person I actually am by myself as well..

 

I just don't know if I'm brave enough to take the risk of losing him, when hes literally my whole life.

 

But like you said..I think staying and not doing anything I am going to resent him, and he doesn't deserve that either.

 

I realy need all the help I can get so please, help me.

If you want any more info just say so and Ill post it.

Im just so confused

Edited January 2, 2011 by soleharmony1123

[alaskanights]

Thanks everyone for your comments.. Ill give you an update of whats going on because it was a very insane night last night.

 

So he ended up getting so paranoid that when I left the house last night to see my best friend for dinner, he called guys from my contacts on my mobile (which I left at home because I'm not allowed to use it when hes not around) and asked them if I was there with them.

 

It ended up in him getting into a massive argument with one of my best guy friends, and them planning a place to meet to fight each other. My friend was VERY drunk when my BF called him, so he was saying things to purposely stir up my bf (things like we have slept together and stuff like that, which we haven't!) . It has turned into such as large fight that now the whole football team (that my guy friend plays on) is sending my bf messages threatening him and saying stuff about me to him.

 

He has told me now that if I don't agree to never see or talk to any of my friends from that town, that we are over for good.

 

He is currently at his friends house`deciding what he wants to do about this situation, so thats where its at at the moment.

 

Now to answer some questions that have been asked...

 

Everyone is saying I shouldn't expect him to wait around for me while I go off and live my life.. I would never ask or expect this of him. I would expect that if we were to separate, he would go and live his life while I lived mine.

 

Yes we are both the same age, he is 1 month older than me.

I have never had another bf before, but he has had several girlfriends before me, and has been sexually intimate with them.

 

Some people have written that its better to just break up now before things get too serious with us.. well its already a very serious relationship as I said in the beginning, we own 2 houses together, live together, have 2 dogs, and have bought all our stuff together.

 

TheGrimSweeper, you are exactely right in what you say. I do feel like I am missing out on my youth I guess because it is exactly like we are already married. And you are 100% right also in saying that I can see us together in the future, living happily with our own family. I just am so not ready for this yet. And I don't want to use my time to sleep around with other guys because that's definately not what I want. I just want time for myself to really discover who I am as a person, I'm not interested in sleeping around.

 

The thing I'm hoping to get from my time alone, is independence I guess.

I need to know that I can make it by myself, and that I'm not actually 100% dependent on my BF like I feel right now.

I just feel really unhappy with the person I am at the moment.

I am always snapping at my bf for little things, and I know its because I am frustrated because I'm so confused about the situation.

 

I guess the main thing is that because this is my first relationship, I don't know exactly what my feelings are.

I don't know if I am just enjoying my time a bit more now that we are not spending 100% of our time together, or if I have actually fallen out of love with him.

 

I have tried talking to my family, but I think they are way too close to the situation to be able to give me the advice I need. My entire family absolutely love my bf and he loves them too.

 

 

I just don't know how to tell what my feelings are.

[TheGrimSweeper]

 

TheGrimSweeper, you are exactely right in what you say. I do feel like I am missing out on my youth I guess because it is exactly like we are already married. And you are 100% right also in saying that I can see us together in the future, living happily with our own family. I just am so not ready for this yet. And I don't want to use my time to sleep around with other guys because that's definately not what I want. I just want time for myself to really discover who I am as a person, I'm not interested in sleeping around.

 

The thing I'm hoping to get from my time alone, is independence I guess.

I need to know that I can make it by myself, and that I'm not actually 100% dependent on my BF like I feel right now.

I just feel really unhappy with the person I am at the moment.

I am always snapping at my bf for little things, and I know its because I am frustrated because I'm so confused about the situation.

 

I guess the main thing is that because this is my first relationship, I don't know exactly what my feelings are.

I don't know if I am just enjoying my time a bit more now that we are not spending 100% of our time together, or if I have actually fallen out of love with him.

 

I have tried talking to my family, but I think they are way too close to the situation to be able to give me the advice I need. My entire family absolutely love my bf and he loves them too.

 

 

I just don't know how to tell what my feelings are.

 

 

I could swear you are a clone of my ex. She literally said the exact same things to me a month ago. There's only one way to find out what your feelings are and I cant believe im actually saying this being on the opposite end and how incredibly painful it is, but you need to end it with him for now and go and be independent.

 

That's the only way you'll know what your real feelings are. It sounds like hes taking it incredibly hard and what hes doing is only making it worse on himself, he'll learn that eventually.

Edited January 3, 2011 by TheGrimSweeper

[alaskanights]

So I just got home and found that my bf was in the next town trying to find my friend to fight him.

 

He told me if I didn't like it that I could leave..so I am.

 

I told him fine I'm gone, and packed my stuff.

 

He then said OK you need space i understand I wont talk to you, when you want to talk again you come to me and let me know.

 

Its not over for good but for at least the next few days we are having a break from each other.

 

I'll keep you updated but in the mean time I would still love your opinions.

 

Thanks everyone

[TheGrimSweeper]

So I just got home and found that my bf was in the next town trying to find my friend to fight him.

 

He told me if I didn't like it that I could leave..so I am.

 

I told him fine I'm gone, and packed my stuff.

 

He then said OK you need space i understand I wont talk to you, when you want to talk again you come to me and let me know.

 

Its not over for good but for at least the next few days we are having a break from each other.

 

I'll keep you updated but in the mean time I would still love your opinions.

 

Thanks everyone

 

 

He handled that pretty well considering everything you had been saying about him trying to fight people.

[homebrew]

alaskanights,

 

I believe you are making the right decision for you... I was dumped by a girl that was in a similar situation as you. G.I.G.S., wanting to prove she could make it on your own, wanted to experience the world on her own, etc.

 

Although really hurt and it is not what I had wanted... I understood (I was her age once, I also felt the same way she did).

 

Best thing I could ever do for her or myself... was to let her go and respect her "need" to do this.

 

For her, I do believe she made the right decision for her own personal growth and development.

 

In your case, I believe you are too.

 

If it is meant to be with your now EX... everything will take care of itself down the road when you are ready.

 

Focus on you, let him go, go and do what you set out to do, have fun, learn from the mistakes you will make... I wish you all the luck!

Edited January 3, 2011 by homebrew

[Ariadne]

It's like going through a root canal even though your teeth are perfectly healthy..

 

This syndrome usually tends to fall on women within the age range of 20-25 (it happens to men, too, but seems to be less often). It usually happens in a long term relationship (maybe two or more years) when the couple is about to make a much larger commitment to each other

 

 

Good one homebrew. I think you got it!

[homebrew]

 

Good one homebrew. I think you got it!

 

I know... that is why I was able to write the G.I.G.S. thread!

 

I have been on both sides of it... karma huh? Hahahaha!

[LifeIsGreat]

I know... that is why I was able to write the G.I.G.S. thread!

 

I have been on both sides of it... karma huh? Hahahaha!

 

Homebrew....

 

Recently you posted some info about some of your break ups/getting back. You seem like a mature guy, who treats women well. Could you share with us what some of the reasons (excuses) were for being dumped/dumpee? In other words, what are some of the negative things (in their perception) these women would have to say about you?

 

Maybe start a new thread? Thanks.

[homebrew]

Homebrew....

 

Recently you posted some info about some of your break ups/getting back. You seem like a mature guy, who treats women well. Could you share with us what some of the reasons (excuses) were for being dumped/dumpee? In other words, what are some of the negative things (in their perception) these women would have to say about you?

 

Maybe start a new thread? Thanks.

 

Will do... I will post it later today.

[Ariadne]

Guys have danced with me and like rubbed against me. I moved away from all of them except one of them, who gave me butterflies lol. We just danced tho nothing more

 

Dear alaskanights,

 

I think this is the main reason why you decided to question your life and thought that going out and meeting guys, doing new things, is not so bad after all.

 

But let me tell you that going out does get old, you can only go out and dance for a few times before you rather stay in...

 

And "dating" can be a true nightmare. You can look around threads over here.

 

Having your own house at 21 and a loving partner is having won half the war already!

 

But it's hard to see these things when you have them so young and think the grass may be greener.

 

You will realize eventually that it is more meaningful to grow a garden, grow some vegetables, raise a family, spend time with loved ones, than partying with strangers.

 

So I just got home and found that my bf was in the next town trying to find my friend to fight him.

 

Omg, what a mess has happened.

 

Good luck with it all!!!

[homebrew]

But let me tell you that going out does get old, you can only go out and dance for a few times before you rather stay in...

 

And "dating" can be a true nightmare. You can look around threads over here.

 

Having your own house at 21 and a loving partner is having won half the war already!

 

But it's hard to see these things when you have them so young and think the grass may be greener.

 

You will realize eventually that it is more meaningful to grow a garden, grow some vegetables, raise a family, spend time with loved ones, than partying with strangers.

 

I know that, you know that but she can't "get" that until she "sees" it for herself.

 

If she does not do this... She would end up regretting her decision to stay, take her BF for granted and end up resenting him... which would most likely cause their relationship / marriage to fail...

 

Will she come to the same conclusion that you and I have? Of course... but life will show her that... you and I telling her will not.

[Ariadne]

Will she come to the same conclusion that you and I have? Of course... but life will show her that... you and I telling her will not.

 

Yeah, maybe.

 

But if her bf is in serious trouble I'd be surprised if she doesn't stick by him or something poor guy, he seems pretty lost by now.

 

Good luck alaska and hope nothing too bad happened.