Hye Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Hi there,I just signed up and I'm looking forward to get advices and try to help as much as I can over here.. First of all let me tell you about my situation,I've been with her since my days in high school (Summer 2007),she had a crush on me from the start and once I got to know her better I took it to the next level and from there our bond was gradually strengthened..UNTIL I graduated and had to leave the country for college. Since then we've experienced some good and other bad times but in general,it wasn't that good... We are both VERY possessive and jealous regarding friends from the opposite gender and we had no problems with that cause we both look at this issue from the same perspective.However,as I'm studying abroad now and don't know many people over here,she has no fear of being jealous,as I'm not going to parties or anything of that kind for her.In the meanwhile,she still goes out with her friends to restaurants,cafes,parties,etc.It's not that I'm against her going out,it's that when I was there she never went out with them cause she had me! And let me clarify the fact that I trust her BUT I don't trust the guys she goes out with as guys stay guys and most of them when having a chance will try to make their move..But what hurts is that this week she went to two parties and she went out with friends twice without even letting me know or anything,plus she has pics with guys all over facebook.. I really feel bad as things aren't getting any better..I have no doubts that she loves me and we are VERY serious and if we could work it out somehow for 1.5 years(until she finishes school)with seeing each other a few times every 2-3 months,we will probably go far and even reach marriage! I just need her to let her know that I'm sacrificing a lot for her by having limited social life,while she's out there having fun with friends,etc.She needs to choose between me and them,but I'm afraid she won't risk her social life for me again cause this time she doesn't have any other friends over there.. I really love her and would appreciate ANY advice I can get!Thanks in advance! Link to post Share on other sites
sugarmomma Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 You really need to grow up. Are you seriously asking her to give up her social life because you don't have one? Grown ups don't do that. They go out and create their own social life. This r isn't going to last with all the jealousy and posessiveness anyway so you might as well cut your losses. Leave her alone and let her live her life. She has a right to have friends and so do you. Now go get some. UUGGGHHH!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hye Posted January 2, 2011 Author Share Posted January 2, 2011 I have friends and a social life but not currently in the new community I just moved in..I just came here seeking advice and this is all I get..I just wanted her to not be so close to guys cause I was feeling insecure and that's something normal people feel.. Thanks for nothing! I'm so out of this ****ty place.. Link to post Share on other sites
creighton0123 Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 I agree with sugarmomma. This level of experienced jealousy in a relationship is an immature emotion. Your requesting that, in your absence, you practically joins a cluster of nuns... You should establish structure with her. You're away. She's left behind. A good semblance of structure you can establish is to have a regular date night, or a period of time where you have an open video chat (I prefer the later since it simulates sharing the same space). If you love her, you'll look beyond your baseless jealousy and let her have fun despite your absence. In the meantime, you should enjoy your time abroad and do the same :-) Link to post Share on other sites
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