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Relationship Killers


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Aside from two obvious things -- infidelity and abuse -- what do you consider to be relationship killers? I would love to hear about your personal experiences, but of course anyone is welcome to respond.

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Lack of respect. Which can encompass an awful lot, including lack of communication and lack of trust.

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Originally posted by moimeme

Lack of respect. Which can encompass an awful lot, including lack of communication and lack of trust.

Which, when transitive, occurs when one disrespects another, or mutual disrespecting ensues.

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Originally posted by dyermaker

Lack of communication.

Lack of trust.

Can you give examples? For clarity. I don't do well with generalizations.

 

In my first marriage a big one for me was jealousy on the part of my husband. I think perhaps it tied into his lack of trust and/or self esteem issues. It also resulted in somewhat of a control issue. It's interesting how sometimes when you start to break them down they tie into one another.

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With communication, which I find most important, it IS a generalization. You have a problem with the relationship. Do you:

 

A) Keep it up inside you, you'll have plenty of time to passively agressively exact revenge

B) Post about it on LS, tell your friends, etc.,

C) Eat chocolate

D) Communicate with your partner about it

E) C and D

 

The answer, in an animated relationship, should be E.

 

Erm, sorry, D.

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Saying something you think is funny when the other person doesn't.

 

Talking about lack of sex when her mother asks how our sex lives are.

 

Getting too comfortable in the motions, not doing anything other than what you normally do.

 

Not talking through things.

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They say that issues regarding money (how to manage it, etc) is at the root of many divorces.

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Ever notice how people who say that money is evil....

 

...have it?

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Fedup&givingup

I'm going to go with a lack of respect. I think that sums it up in a nutshell. It DOES lead to a lot of other problems.

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Ever notice how people who say that money is evil....

 

...have it?

 

 

No. People with money are the ones who say that money doesn't solve problems. I guess they figure that worrying whether one will retain one's home doesn't count as a 'problem'. :rolleyes:

 

However, their relationships still suffer, it seems, so I suppose money won't solve those problems.

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Originally posted by dyermaker

Ever notice how people who say that money is evil....

 

...have it?

No. Those who don't have it say it's evil because they're jealous that they don't have it. It's easier to think it's evil. (Jealousy rears its ugly head again?) :confused:

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Originally posted by greyskies

TRUST TRUST TRUUST TRUST WITHOUT TRUST YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS FU*CKED

I agree. When my ex was jealous for no reason I felt he didn't trust me, which pretty much ruined things.

 

There are so many forms of trust. Once again, so many important factors are intertwined -- trust, respect, honesty, jealousy.

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If you respect your partner, then everything else can be included in that category too. Even verbally being comapred to old favorite"one night stands" wouldn't happen. Yeah....that tainted my relationship.

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tattoomytoe

my bf has money issues....he keeps track of every single cent.....which i do not, so we balance there.

 

i think morals, like what you think is right and wrong. if it clashes with their thoughts of right and wrong then that is no bueno.

 

and then compromise goes a long ways, or the inabiltity to compromise is a killer

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Chocolate.

 

I cannot say money, as without money there is no happiness. Definitely chocolate though. Lack of trust and honesty was brought up before, but these pale in comparison to chocolate.

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