AC06 Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 I honestly can't figure out the worst bit about my former relationship. When I'm asked about it, I'll say a bunch of things and every one is prefaced with "The worst bit was/is..." Anyway, I am not coping well. I knew my gf for two years, and we were in a relationship for most of it. She was, for over a year, the most amazing girl I have met in my life. Then she got new friends, and she changed, and I got shunted aside. The relationship just started to fall apart because I was no longer important to her, or nowhere near the level I was. I found out last week she has a new boyfriend. We broke up almost 3 months ago, but we'd spent most of the time since trying to fix things, or at least that's what I lead to believe. The worst bit though, honestly, is that we never had sex. The whole time I knew her. I always thought she was afraid of sex, she always came off as very shy about it. At one point about 6/7 months ago I asked her if we were ever having sex, and she claimed we only didn't because we "didn't have the opportunity" to (she had some committment fears for a while and has a strange home relationship with her mother). Later, she'd go on to claim to be crazy about sex, and detail how sexually she dresses and acts whens he goes clubbing, which I was never allowed to do with her. "If you'd just come clubbing with me that time I asked, well..." was what I got told. Now I'm left here feeling horrible and going crazy because I had always thought sex was a big deal to her, and on the way out she made it seem impersonal. And I'm stuck with that ****ty idea that hey, she's going to have sex with her new boyfriend right off the bat, because he's onme of her clubbing friends. Link to post Share on other sites
coltsfan1 Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 she is broken and wants to hurt you. My friend you got off easy, my relationship of almost 4 years ended bout the same way as yours. I developed a relationship with her son and all my family did to, as hard as it is be glad you found out now if i was a year or so into the relationship I would have taken it much better. Keep posting on here and getting all the great advice and DO NOT contact her, or except crumbs. She can come back and try fully or not at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Fern Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 I honestly can't figure out the worst bit about my former relationship. When I'm asked about it, I'll say a bunch of things and every one is prefaced with "The worst bit was/is..." Anyway, I am not coping well. I knew my gf for two years, and we were in a relationship for most of it. She was, for over a year, the most amazing girl I have met in my life. Then she got new friends, and she changed, and I got shunted aside. The relationship just started to fall apart because I was no longer important to her, or nowhere near the level I was. I found out last week she has a new boyfriend. We broke up almost 3 months ago, but we'd spent most of the time since trying to fix things, or at least that's what I lead to believe. The worst bit though, honestly, is that we never had sex. The whole time I knew her. I always thought she was afraid of sex, she always came off as very shy about it. At one point about 6/7 months ago I asked her if we were ever having sex, and she claimed we only didn't because we "didn't have the opportunity" to (she had some committment fears for a while and has a strange home relationship with her mother). Later, she'd go on to claim to be crazy about sex, and detail how sexually she dresses and acts whens he goes clubbing, which I was never allowed to do with her. "If you'd just come clubbing with me that time I asked, well..." was what I got told. Now I'm left here feeling horrible and going crazy because I had always thought sex was a big deal to her, and on the way out she made it seem impersonal. And I'm stuck with that ****ty idea that hey, she's going to have sex with her new boyfriend right off the bat, because he's onme of her clubbing friends. I'd be VERY surprised if she has sex with the new guy either. What you describe is someone with some serious sexual hangups. Honestly, my friend, she sounds like a whole mess of neuroses. You had a lucky escape. Link to post Share on other sites
Leandro Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Honestly, my friend, she sounds like a whole mess of neuroses. You had a lucky escape. Yes, just a big mess that you don't need to deal with. Don't worry about the sex thing, it doesn't matter. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AC06 Posted January 4, 2011 Author Share Posted January 4, 2011 Thanks for the advice. I haven't spoken to her in a week, the longest we haven't spoken since we met is 10 days. Hard feeling to deal with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AC06 Posted January 4, 2011 Author Share Posted January 4, 2011 Oh yeah, I had a question! Okay, deal is that we broke up in early October, she came back after a week and a half and spent the next month or so acting like my girlfriend but "wasn't sure" what she wanted and wouldn't committ to it. I know she had other options, and I know she wasn't just keeping me around until she had something else, I believe she was genuinely confused. At the start of December she started to push away again. We didn't talk for a week and a half, then she got my Christmas present in the mail, and she kept calling, eventually I answered and we spoke on the 23rd, even though I had nothing to say. She was tired and sleepy on the phone and told me she'd call the next day, and she did, the second she left work. We talked for an hour until 8pm, then she went out clubbing, and I later found out that at 11pm she got a new boyfriend. We texted over Christmas, spoke on the phone on the 27th (though she was being pretty cold), and on the 28th she told me in a text message. We ended up on the phone and I told her she wouldn't be hearing off me ever again. Anyway, on Christmas Day at midnight (when she had just got a new boyfriend and was in the club) she sent a mass Christmas message to alot of people. I have two phones. Phone A is "her" phone, it's in my old phone, only she has the number and it's the one she's been calling me on for months. Phone B is my phone I use for everything else. I only got this Christmas message on Phone A. After midnight on New Year's, I got a mass message, but on BOTH phones. Sure, maybe she sent the message to absolutely everyone, but it didn't seem like the kind of message she'd send her mother or her boss, and there's a part of me that thinks she made sure to send it to both phones to make sure I got it. She hadn't messaged or called Phone B in almost 3 months. Was she making sure I got it, or did I just happen to get it twice? Link to post Share on other sites
Author AC06 Posted January 4, 2011 Author Share Posted January 4, 2011 Sorry for the triple post, but I can't see any edit button. :/ I wanted to add the question of "If I DO hear off her again... what do I do?" Link to post Share on other sites
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