Why does this guy at work care so much about how people are treating me?

[girlygo]

I think a guy where I work likes me but I'm not sure. He treats me differently from everyone else (he's not my boss) in that he seems very protective of me in the workplace and is always stressing that if I have problems with certain people at work to let him know, namely specific men! He's concerned about 2 particular guys bothering me all the time about a project but it's kind of weird why he's so interested, although they do work for him. To the point where it's not really necessary. He has even once asked me whether either one of them were 'overstepping the mark in any way' whatever that's supposed to mean. The other day, one of the guys sat next to me to go through a couple of issues and when I mentioned this to Mr Protective he seemed pretty bothered by it and replied, 'why was he sitting there? He's got his own desk', but then changed the subject after that.

 

I really like this guy and the way he shows his concern is really quite cute. Does he like me or is he just being a 'responsible colleague'? How should I respond, should I play up it by being a damsel in distress or will that put him off? Am I imagining it all?

[Keridan]

Yep, he wants ya

 

A couple of things worth note, though. His way of protecting you is a red flag for severe jealousy. The other is that with someone like that, you don't wanna play the damsel because he will never stop saving you, which isn't that healthy either.

 

All that aside, if you want to date him, you can. He obviously likes ya and can probably be goaded into getting the courage to ask you out. I think you will save a lot of time if you turn it on him, though. When he does something protective say "You know, if you really wanna look out for me, maybe we should discuss it over coffee." Or something along those lines. He probably would have made a move if he was good at getting up the courage.

 

If nothing else, just make a little extra time to talk to him. Let him catch you checking him out. Smile at him for no reason. Blatant flirting might get the job done.

 

Good luck!

[denise_xo]

 

That was my reaction, too. I also think his behaviour sounds unprofessional, in that he doesn't seem to have clear boundaries between this professional personae as a boss and his interest in you. To be honest, the way you describe him makes me quite uncomfortable. But if he's your cup of tea, sure go for it.

[girlygo]

Thanks for the comments Denise. However, this guy is not my boss - we share the same office and don't work together....

[highlibidolady]

It spells a red flag to me too. He sounds like the controlling jealous type and could spell trouble later down the path if you decide to date him...

[denise_xo]

Thanks for the comments Denise. However, this guy is not my boss - we share the same office and don't work together....

 

Yeah, I got that bit - I was referring to the two other guys you mentioned that you said worked for him. While it's his 'job' to ensure that his employees don't 'bother' you, he seemed to be going about that in a way that didn't sound professional to me.

[Feelin Frisky]

I think this is just his way of engendering himself to you. Also, he seems like he's already "claimed" you in his mind. He's being very "territorial". I can't say that this will be a bad thing if you get involved--it's up to you now if you want to yield to being "claimed" or tell him to back the truck off.