yes Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 i had a phone-interview in a language foreign to me (i speak it but not fluently) this morning. first of all, i couldn't sleep the night - kept waking up. second of all, by the time i got off the phone, it was dripping wet from my hand's sweat . third, my father called while i was being interviewed, and when i called him back, asked me to do something for him. at the same time, my cat was meowing and my mother was saying something to me from d/stairs (i can't hear, she knows i can't hear, but still does it). GRRR!!! i just breathing deep... gonna take a shower. all's well. but i wish i was more relaxed and none of this silliness would cause such a nervous reaction...! is this just a fact of my constitution, or can i do smth about it? i always promise myself to start meditating and working out, but somehow i never get to it... -frustrated yes Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 Meditate. Work out. There are excellent stress-reduction strategies. If you don't use them, then really, what do you expect? Things don't work themselves out magically. Link to post Share on other sites
Fedup&givingup Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 Ahhhh, but the "phone interview" (spoken with George Carlin dialect). Aren't they lovely? I would be stressed too. My suggestion would have been to make sure that everyone in your household knew what time this was going to happen (as these things are planned for a specific time). Isolating yourself to a part of the house is wisely suggested. Keeping any distractions away is necessary (like a cat). Reminding members of the household minutes before the call is a must (like your mother). If your mother insisted on yelling at you to get your attention anyway, then you need to address her lack of respect for you. You have no control over who's calling you, but I certainly would take the other call. Not during the interview...whoever is calling would have called back if it was important. Would I be stressed? Absolutely! GO work out or meditate. If you don't effectively get rid of your stress, it will creep up on you elsewhere!!!! Good luck, and it's over with.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted March 18, 2004 Author Share Posted March 18, 2004 yeah, i have to get my ass my work out and meditate ... i had to take the other call cuz i cdn't hear her questions b/c of the beeping... all the yelling/meowing took place AFTER the interview... but it was all at once, so i was frustrated. thanks for the replies! -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Fedup&givingup Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 Oh, geez Yes! I would be ticked, myself. Personally, I am not in favor of a "phone interview". What a load...I mean, when you go for an interview with someone in person, there is less potential for distraction. You can't control whose calling you, and most people do have call waiting. It's a crock! I think companies are looking for a cheaper, easier way to handle interviewing, but in my opinion, doing it over the phone is pretty lame-o-la. I mean, it doesn't show much serious interest in the person they are interviewing, and I think a lot of an interview has to do with a person's body language. A phone interview...you don't even get a real first impression! Go take your mind off it, and relax!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted March 18, 2004 Author Share Posted March 18, 2004 yeah, it was quite frustrating esp. b/c it's in a language i'm not fluent in - and it's always harder to handle a foreign language on the phone... this is a gov't funded program of finding jobs for students though, so i'm not rlly mad at them for saving the $ by doing it on the phone. i'm letting myself chill out for the rest of the day... -yes Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 i had a phone-interview in a language foreign to me Yuk! Sounds like the sort of things that would make anyone nervous. I have had some experience of this in my work, it's a fairly specific form of nerves, similar to when you are about to do a presentation to a large group of people. What works for many is: Being prepared - finding out as much as you can about the process, who you are talikng to, what to expect, what you want to say etc. But not over-prepared or you can't respond to the unexpected and speak naturally. Many find it's best to leave a gap between preparation and delivery. Avoid thinking about it in the run up, seek distraction (TV, LS, mediation, whatever). If you can't sleep don't lie there, get up and try again later. You will have so much adrenaline that you are unlikely to have impaired performance from lack of sleep. Understand what the problem is, if you find something threatening the natural response is adrenaline to allow fight or flight reactions. You can use the adrenaline to deliver an inspired performance if you harness it. The best stand up comics are also those who are most crippled by nerves before they perform. Before you deliver, concentrate on controlling your physical reactions - mainly avoiding shallow breathing which exacerbates the panic reaction. Breath from the diagraphram rather than the upper chest, deep and slow. If you have another phone interview you may find it best to remain standing. Here's hoping you don't need the advice because you GET THE JOB Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted March 18, 2004 Author Share Posted March 18, 2004 great tips, meanon, thanks! it's exactly the same type of nervousness as before a presentation. i dunna why i jumped myself for being nervous - perfectly natural for such an occasion. (doesn't mean i shdn't meditate&work out for general stress relief, i know). -yes Link to post Share on other sites
fredrolin Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 how to chill out? ALCOHOL Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted March 18, 2004 Author Share Posted March 18, 2004 alcohol can do the job sometimes, i know, but since i can't be permanently tipsy, i'm seeking other destressants -yes Link to post Share on other sites
NatoPMT Posted March 20, 2004 Share Posted March 20, 2004 hi yes i know how you feel, i have to give presentations to my MD and 8 senior management, & interviews are a nightmare - theres a book called Great Answers to Tough Interview Questions by Martin Yate, since i read that i have been offered every job I have interviewed for. think you'll be able to get it on amazon if youre interested in looking at it meanon was right in that preparation is the key to confidence in that situation do you get stressed by everything normally - ie the cat etc - or was it primarily the interview that triggered it? i sing 'here comes the sun' by the beatles to myself on the london underground when i start getting stressed by cattle like conditions, i have actually had the whole carriage singing 'i love you baby' on one occassion, but that was the vodka not the stress. i have a coping mechanism for most situations i start getting agitated in, if once i can blank it out and chill myself out, i employ however i did it the next time it happens. then i smile to myself and am happy i avoided the situation, which makes it less stressful next time as i dont expect to get stressed BB Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted March 20, 2004 Author Share Posted March 20, 2004 thanks, i'll check out that book abt interviews! singing to yourself (not out loud, right?) is a good idea... and 'here comes the sun' is an excellent choice!! i'll try that. i don't normally get too stressed out - if too many things come at once, i get agitated and just take a break from everything; but only something bigger like a presentation or an interview makes me very frustrated and nervous. thanks for your reply, -yes PS been meditating! Link to post Share on other sites
NatoPMT Posted March 20, 2004 Share Posted March 20, 2004 haha sometimes i do sing it out loud, only in stations not in a crowded carriage, and i always get smiled at by other passengers when i do sing out loud. prob laughing at my awful singing voice sounds like you need to take control of those situations you feel out of control in, getting that book really really did help me. once you get control of the bigger stuff like career and interviews, then the smaller stuff get fewer column inches and less deserving of your energy. i cant do the whole meditating thing, i cant sit still long enough - i might read up on it if it helps you - report back on progress! BB Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted March 20, 2004 Author Share Posted March 20, 2004 hehehe @ singing out loud. if somebody next to me did that in a subway station, it'd make my day!! yeah, i guess once the bigger things fall into place i'll feel less prone to stress by lil things. but i'm young as hell, my career is just thinking of beginning, i'm single - my whole life is up in the air, so to speak. it's both exciting and stressful. do try to meditate! i also find it hard to sit still but it's a very pleasant feeling of 'mindfulness' when you get it even for a few seconds. check out this page: http://www.zader.com/mudita/archives/000110.html even without sitting down to meditate, you can simply be more mindful during your daily activities - pay more attention to what you're doing (e.g. sound of me typing, the way the keys feel under my fingers, the shadow of the lamp, etc) - it'll help you stay in the present. once you experience being in the NOW, you'll crave it, trust me!! good luck, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted March 20, 2004 Share Posted March 20, 2004 I'm still learning how to chill out properly! lol..I always fit a million things into a day. I do meditation classes and they DO help quite a bit. Plus, I met my lovely boy in one such class a few year's back. Apart from that, the others have given some top hints. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted March 20, 2004 Author Share Posted March 20, 2004 thinkalot, what a brilliant idea... the kind of guys who take meditation seriously enough to attend a class are quite likely to be my type ... -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 It was the first time he'd ever been to such a class....and apart from him, it was all women! My meditation class teacher/clairvoyant/good friend, said when he walked into her store, she started immediately to think of me and got a 'feeling' about us. She offered classes on Tuesday and Wednesday nights. I always went on wednesday...so she told him the tuesday class was full! So in he walked on a Wednesday night. Poor fellow was quite set up really. I hung back so I could talk to him on the first night and thought he seems great (and really cute), and by the second week I got up the nerve to ask if he "wanted to go out for coffee sometime?"..lol! He replied .."yes, how about right now"....and we went from there. That was nearly 3 years ago. He is so busy he doesn't have time to go to the classes right now (the irony)...but I still go (my original teacher has moved however...I still miss her, and she will always be special to us, because of her role in our meeting) Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted March 21, 2004 Author Share Posted March 21, 2004 that's a cute story i went to a buddhist center once, and there were tons of guys there, although many of them closer to my dad's age. i actually dated one of them(of the younger bunch!) for a while, too. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
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