I didn't get my Girlfriend a Birthday Present

[Kowaco]

I didn't forget my girlfriends Birthday I just didn't have a chance to buy her something. The previous week my Mother died and I had to take a final exam the day before I flew to her funeral. I’m working on a master’s degree and was pretty wound up about everything. To top all of that off I was sick with a cold. Her Birthday was the day of my final and when I walked out of the class room she was waiting for me. I had already told her we would go out for dinner on her birthday so I took her to a nice restaurant and toward the end of dinner I told her that I had not gotten her anything for her birthday and that I was sorry but I would make it up to her. At that point she started to cry and kept saying “how could you do this to me” I continued to apologize and told her what happened and I was sorry. We left the restaurant with her crying and drove back to her car at the University. The drive was only about twenty minutes and she cried the whole way and I told her I was sorry the whole way. She kept asking me why I would do that to her and how could I do that to her. Finally by the time we got to her car and I had told her I was sorry so many times I started to lose my temper because I had told her so many times how sorry I was. We ended up in a fight and that didn’t go well. We were both yelling at each other and I finally said maybe we should just break up. She left in her car and I flew out the next day to my Mother’s funeral. We ended up talking when I got back but got in another fight and it just progressed from there. I did tell her I was sorry about not getting a gift, but I didn’t do it because I just didn’t want to get her anything, it was just that I had so much on my mind. Anyway not getting a gift can end your relationship. I did tell her I would never let that happen with anyone else and said I was going to buy a small gift from Tiffany’s and keep it in my closet so I would never be caught in a similar situation. So I have a small Blue box with a charm in it sitting in my closet and I’ll never lose a girlfriend over a missed gift again.

Edited January 4, 2011 by Kowaco

[amerikajin]

I didn't forget my girlfriends Birthday I just didn't have a chance to buy her something. The previous week my Mother died and I had to take a final exam the day before I flew to her funeral. I’m working on a master’s degree and was pretty wound up about everything. To top all of that off I was sick with a cold. Her Birthday was the day of my final and when I walked out of the class room she was waiting for me. I had already told her we would go out for dinner on her birthday so I took her to a nice restaurant and toward the end of dinner I told her that I had not gotten her anything for her birthday and that I was sorry but I would make it up to her. At that point she started to cry and kept saying “how could you do this to me” I continued to apologize and told her what happened and I was sorry. We left the restaurant with her crying and drove back to her car at the University. The drive was only about twenty minutes and she cried the whole way and I told her I was sorry the whole way. She kept asking me why I would do that to her and how could I do that to her. Finally by the time we got to her car and I had told her I was sorry so many times I started to lose my temper because I had told her so many times how sorry I was. We ended up in a fight and that didn’t go well. We were both yelling at each other and I finally said maybe we should just break up. She left in her car and I flew out the next day to my Mother’s funeral. We ended up talking when I got back but got in another fight and it just progressed from there. I did tell her I was sorry about not getting a gift, but I didn’t do it because I just didn’t want to get her anything, it was just that I had so much on my mind. Anyway not getting a gift can end your relationship. I did tell her I would never let that happen with anyone else and said I was going to buy a small gift from Tiffany’s and keep it in my closet so I would never be caught in a similar situation. So I have a small Blue box with charm in it sitting in my closet and I’ll never lose a girlfriend over a missed gift again.

 

Jesus F Christ. I would break up with your girl"friend". What an unbelievably selfish little witch, to give you grief at a time when you have suffered a personal loss, not to mention the fact that you've had to do your schoolwork in the face of all this. Dude, she is NOT the kind of woman you want to be with for much longer. Break it off with her, man, and feel good about it.

 

No, you're wrong. Not getting a gift doesn't end a relationship. Not getting a gift for selfish, spoiled, narcissistic girl with a princess complex can end a relationship with said type of woman, but you're soooo much better off because of that. The only problem I see is that she's influenced your attitude so that you now believe you messed up. You didn't. She did. Any reasonable, supportive chick would have understood your situation. She didn't because she's a bytch. Plain and simple.

 

Anyway, pour yourself a glass of wine and raise a glass to your late mother and honor her, and honor yourself to ending potentially years of misery with this ex of yours.

 

p.s. Sorry for your loss. Wish you well.

Edited January 4, 2011 by amerikajin

[Hhhh]

sorry for your loss

 

Ridiculous, just wow. Just please don't take her back

[Graceful]

Kowaco,

Your post broke my heart in pieces, and at the same time infuriated me. It just infuriated me b/c you have taken the blame for something from a selfish, immature brat. What kind of person is so selfish at a time when the person they supposedly love has had a death in the family of the most important person in his life?

 

Please don't take this on. You did nothing wrong. For this woman to indulge herself in her petty, ridiculous, frivolous, immature, screwed up rant is beyond belief.

 

A normal caring person would not have even wanted to go out to dinner. A normal person would have said, are you kidding, it can wait. I don't care, I understand, please do not apologize.

 

So we're not talking normal here.

 

I took her to a nice restaurant and toward the end of dinner I told her that I had not gotten her anything for her birthday and that I was sorry but I would make it up to her. At that point she started to cry and kept saying “how could you do this to me”

Do what exactly? And to her? This is all you need to know about this woman.

 

Me. Me. Me. Who cares if you are going through a tragic event in your life? Who cares if you had a final exam? Who cares if you are leaving town tomorrow for your mum's funeral? I'M MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT.

 

And not just once, but over and over and over? This woman is a head case. You know that, don't you?

 

Anyway not getting a gift can end your relationship. I did tell her I would never let that happen with anyone else and said I was going to buy a small gift from Tiffany’s and keep it in my closet so I would never be caught in a similar situation. So I have a small Blue box with a charm in it sitting in my closet and I’ll never lose a girlfriend over a missed gift again.

It does not end a relationship. It just tested out a woman that has no character, no sensitivity and no class. She has no idea what you were going through, and didn't even try.

 

Give yourself a pat on the pack for losing this idiot. I would have had the fight with her for you, but I wasn't there. Do not give this woman another thought.

 

And again, so sorry about your mum. Take care.

[Els]

Oh dear Lord. I sure hope you're trolling.

 

If you're not, you dodged a bullet. Sorry you had to realize that at such a hard time. I'm sure you'll find a better girl someday who actually deserves you. Your ex was a bitch.

[Star Gazer]

Jesus F Christ. I would break up with your girl"friend". What an unbelievably selfish little witch, to give you grief at a time when you have suffered a personal loss, not to mention the fact that you've had to do your schoolwork in the face of all this. Dude, she is NOT the kind of woman you want to be with for much longer. Break it off with her, man, and feel good about it.

 

No, you're wrong. Not getting a gift doesn't end a relationship. Not getting a gift for selfish, spoiled, narcissistic girl with a princess complex can end a relationship with said type of woman, but you're soooo much better off because of that. The only problem I see is that she's influenced your attitude so that you now believe you messed up. You didn't. She did. Any reasonable, supportive chick would have understood your situation. She didn't because she's a bytch. Plain and simple.

 

Anyway, pour yourself a glass of wine and raise a glass to your late mother and honor her, and honor yourself to ending potentially years of misery with this ex of yours.

 

p.s. Sorry for your loss. Wish you well.

 

This is the best possible response to this "girlfriend's" behavior. What a horrible person she is!

 

I too am deeply sorry for your loss, Kowaco. ((HUG))

[durkadurka]

Ditch the bitch.

 

My ex gave me **** when I went out for a walk with my friend who's grandmother had *literally* just died.

 

I was ready to dump her right then and there.

[Kowaco]

No it’s not a troll, just the normal post breakup questioning. Some history is that I met her soon after my divorce just as a friend and later we got involved. She always had a volatile temper and did some incredible things but I let them pass because I wanted to get my life started after the divorce. We have had numerous breakups and each time I’ve had less incentive to get back together. This time we won’t, I’m not mad at her, just sad that she is a certain way and I know it will never work. We talked later and she continued to pummel me about the gift, my lack of planning, I had done other things, all I had to do was click a mouse to buy something, etc. and then capped it all off by saying “Well you didn’t really seem too upset about your Mother”. That really sent me over the top. Anyway it’s done and I appreciate everyone’s comments, Lesson learned is to not become involved with someone to fix a part of your life or because you’re afraid of being alone. Onward and upward from here.

[homebrew]

Your EX, has all the qualities that I am looking for... understanding, compassionate, sensitive, thoughtful, gracious, tender, loving, caring, supportive, etc.

 

Now that you and her and no longer together... Do you mind if I get her phone number from you?

 

As luck would have it, my mother passed away when I was 14 from cancer so she wouldn't have to worry about something so trivial getting in her way.

 

Uhh Ohhh... I wonder if she will hold my father's death (when that happens) in the same regard as a mother? That might pose a problem if for some stupid reason... that should affect me in the slightest. Just in case, I will go say goodbye to my dad and write him off...

 

Then I will be ready to date her, I can't wait!

Edited January 4, 2011 by homebrew

[bl22]

Your EX, has all the qualities that I am looking for... understanding, compassionate, sensitive, thoughtful, gracious, tender, loving, caring, supportive, etc.

 

Now that you and her and no longer together... Do you mind if I get her phone number from you?

 

As luck would have it, my mother passed away when I was 14 from cancer so she wouldn't have to worry about something so trivial getting in her way.

 

Uhh Ohhh... I wonder if she will hold my fathers death (when that happens) in the same regard as a mother? That might pose a problem if for some stupid reason... that should affect me in the slightest. Just in case, I will go say goodbye to my dad and write him off...

 

Then I will be ready to date her, I can't wait!

 

 

Haha homebrew you are by far the most sarcastic on this board

[amerikajin]

No it’s not a troll, just the normal post breakup questioning. Some history is that I met her soon after my divorce just as a friend and later we got involved. She always had a volatile temper and did some incredible things but I let them pass because I wanted to get my life started after the divorce.

 

Don't let disrespect pass. Ever. Address it and don't move on until she gets the picture. And if she doesn't, then find someone else. You kept giving her second and third and probably fourth chances to kick you around like a ball...and she did. Don't do this again.

 

We have had numerous breakups and each time I’ve had less incentive to get back together.

 

As a rule, I would never get together with someone I've broken up with, mainly because I don't break up with someone without first considering what it would be like after they're gone. Generally, I've learned that relationships don't get better the second time around; they just end up referencing things that happened the first time around. The history will always be there. What it takes to succeed in a relationship are two people who are committed to improving themselves, learning from each other, and working as a team to get through life. And sex, while indeed pleasurable, is over-rated.

 

This time we won’t, I’m not mad at her, just sad that she is a certain way and I know it will never work. We talked later and she continued to pummel me about the gift, my lack of planning, I had done other things, all I had to do was click a mouse to buy something, etc. and then capped it all off by saying “Well you didn’t really seem too upset about your Mother”. That really sent me over the top. Anyway it’s done and I appreciate everyone’s comments, Lesson learned is to not become involved with someone to fix a part of your life or because you’re afraid of being alone. Onward and upward from here.

 

I think the most important thing to consider, Kowaco, is why you dated this woman in the first place, and also, think about what kind of woman you want in the next relationship. Think about what your expectations are in a companion. Write them down on paper. Memorize them. And always enforce them.