Linkzfirst Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Okay so there is this girl I like, Hayley. How we met I work at Subway, and my friend Zacky who I work with introduced us. Zacky's best friend is Sammi, and her best friend is Hayley. The Situation Okay, I know this is going to sound a bit unreal, but I know for a fact that it is. Okay, so we both like each other. I asked her if she wanted to go out, and she said that "it's dangerous." It turns out, her ex-boyfriend is a Marine. He's some crazy bitch that's still obsessed about her, he's currently in Afghanistan, BUT he literally has his friends go to her house to see if she's home. He's made some strong threats, like he's beat her or kill anybody she's "with." I know for a fact that, that true. I know it's hard to believe, but I've looked throw her phone without her knowing and read a few, and her best friend Sammi and her friend Zacky have told me about. The problem is that she's worried that if we were to be together that something bad would happen to me. But honestly, I think I could take care of myself. I'm not trying to act big or tuff, but I mean, I have friends and know a few things about self defense. Hayley and me have gone out a few times to the park and what not, and had to have me take her home because the Marine's friends where calling her saying ****. I really want to be with her, I really want to protect her. <3 But she wont really let me in. What should I do? Any advice? Any questions? Link to post Share on other sites
january2010 Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 To be honest, my gut reaction is to suggest that you walk away before you get too deeply involved. Her ex is trained to kill people and has a problem letting go of the relationship. Perhaps you can support her as a friend but as a boyfriend, you'd knowingly be putting yourself into a situation filled with drama. That's a lot to take on. Link to post Share on other sites
Alissa84 Posted January 9, 2011 Share Posted January 9, 2011 Sorry to hear that you're going through this. Unfortunately, I agree with january2010. You could be putting yourself in real danger if you get involved with her. And even if you're good at defending yourself, if this guy is going to do something bad he could find a way. From what you say about him, he doesn't seem like someone who would hold back. I know that it sucks to be into someone but unable to have them. It's hard to imagine being with anyone else because they all pale in comparison to the person you like. But it sounds like you'd be better off moving on. As for the girl, it sounds like she should get some help to get out of the relationship; seems like he is just dangerous in general. But if someone were to bring up the subject of getting help, it would probably need to be a girlfriend because this guy is so insanely jealous. Best of luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
O'Malley Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 I've looked throw her phone without her knowing While I understand your concern for her, stop invading her privacy -- she's already dealing with that from her ex and his creepy friends. She's told you that she doesn't want to pursue a relationship with you, and you do need to respect that decision. The last thing she needs at this point is another guy who chooses not to understand the word "no". Don't be that person. If you want to support her, let her know that it could be beneficial for her to discuss her situation with an abuse/stalking counselor. Someone not invested in the situation whom she can open up to and receive competent advice from. Link to post Share on other sites
TG4MJ Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Hmm, tough call brochacho. Has she called the police about the matter ? If his pals are marines as well they can get in alot of trouble for harassing either of you, as could the ex. How does he send her texts while overseas ? Unless things have changed, most electronic communicating is monitored by the branch he's serving under last I checked. If he's sending her messages like that he'd be in a world of sh** both legally and with his superiors. What about his goon squad ? Are these just random guys or marines as well ? Once again, if they're enlisted men and they do anything criminal they can get in ALOT of trouble and I can't really imagine them wanting to risk their careers over a buddies ex girlfriend. I mean marines may be tough, but they're also well disciplined. Care to fill us in on that ? Link to post Share on other sites
Goodstuff Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Tough man. I would say just let her go. Theres plenty of women out there. Tell her that in the future when she rids herself of that guy, she can call you up and you toocan go from there. As it is now, dont be the hero, it wont end good Link to post Share on other sites
Miko Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 She needs to go to the police so there's something on record, and maybe get a CCW, you too. It's Tennessee I'd imagine they're not that hard to get. If he gets in trouble for some stalker $hit the military will likely severely reprimand him. You probably won't have to worry about him if he's locked up. I don't mean to tell you to go ahead and get in a bad situation but she shouldn't have to live like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts