Azaroth Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 I was dating a girl in college, I am a junior and she is a freshman.... 5 months I asked her out a month into it she said - no, i am not ready i been in a 3 year relationship and i just broke up with my boy friend Jan - tried to ask if things changed..... same thing March 15 asked where things are going,....- same thing - but now it seems to be diffrent.... She told me she really liked me and she wasn't hooking up with other people, she says she only has sex with someone who she is exclusive with... and she told me in jan that eventually we will go out.... here some things she said just a couple days afterwards: Me: I hope you didn't get the impression that i was mad with ya yesterday or today Her: no i was giving u spce i guess- and u did seem mad Me: well i had a lot of fun, and i am not sure if ya want that as of now... Her: and then in another 3 weeks we'll have another talk just like we've been doing for the past 2 months--it'll be the same Me: i was wondering if things are going to cont. with us.. Her: well we're not really together Me: are we going to still hang out and stuff? and did what we did the past 2 months Her: : lets just let whatever happen happen Me: well i will stop with the talks, about trying to establish a couple thing, and i am going to presume that won't happen Her: and if hanging out so much confuses you and other people...then maybe we shouldn't hang out as much Me: but do you want to keep hanging out as much as we did, and doing the same stuff? just without the talks? Her: maybe not as much, because i guess it's too much like a cuple if we hang out as much as we did Me: so those things didn't mean anything, seems like you regret doing it and did you like it? that and what we did the past 2 months i guess, i thought we got a lot closer.. Her: what things?, no not at all, never we did- we really did...almost like a couple though, i enjoyed it though (Broken up commas, mean breaks between the 2 thingys) Her: just don't expect anything but let whatever happen just happen without thinking---and i don't mind if you hang out with other girls, : i know u had asked if you hooked up with other girls--i don't want to know about it though--bc i know i will get a little jealous Me: is that what we were doing? it seems like don't expect anything - sounds like that it done. like things are finished Her: : no- just have fun Me: are you telling me to go after other girls cuz your going to go after other guys? and thats what you mean by go have fun or just have fun Her: well if we aren't goping to have a title then i don't want to be holding u back no- just have fun with us ok? Me: i have a lot of fun with you, and i don't want anyone else... - and i don't consider the time spent with you holding me back ya sorta didn't answer that question directly Her: to make thing less serious- it prolly wouldn't hurt to hang out with other people for you & me ( I had to ask for me or for her and she said both) Me: so you omit things were goign serious, and now you want that to stop? Her: yea- i don't want a boyfriend or anything serious right now These are taking out of a convo - if you can read all that and tell me what you think also her roomy told me - that her impression that we are just friends.... and she told me she took down my picture... on the wall..... THe talk was - Where things are going .......... I dont know ... have you thought about it......yeah....... is it the still same thing........yes (... the reason)........ I told her i am getting emotionally attached cuz we started getting serious, and i dont think i can keep doing this............ and she started to cry............... and i told her im not going ne place............. that was the talk nothing bad........... Please I am in Dire need!!! ~Az Link to post Share on other sites
opentonewadvice Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 This is a confusing situation for you right now i know, But honestly she has just experienced some past bad relations with her ex. Which has made her become more defensive and withdrawn from certain situations when it comes to the relationship area. So right now her way of coping with this is by having FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS type of relationships, she prefers this way because she see's this as an easy way out of committing herself and or getting hurt again. When what she needs is to allow herself another chance to get to know you a bit more better and see what you are really all about. Although it seems bad there may be hope for the two of you to make it together, But in order for this to work you are going to have to give her some personal time to resolve her past feelings of her ex and clear her head. Because everyone needs to be free from drama sometimes, Make sure you remain a good friend in the process and a good source of communication for her to relieve the stress. And as time goes on she will come around, and then you will reap the benefits of a more loving relationship and have gained better insight to her true feelings and heart. Link to post Share on other sites
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