yes Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 There's this guy I've gone out with several times. It's always fun. Whenever we talk on the phone or through IM, it's fun as well. BUT it's always rare - a few weeks of no contact will go by and then he wants to meet with me again. I tried being unavailable (busy, not replying, cancelling on him) just to see if he's going to make some effort in order to meet me - he did. Now, I'm not sure what to make of this. I have a feeling that this distance is precisely the reason he caught my attention (Every time i see him, i think - 'fun, quality guy, but not long-term material'. Yet after several weeks I'm glad to see him again. At the same time I've always dreamt of working it out w/ someone i'm not theoretically compatible with so I dunna what's up with me.) So... i guess i can let it stay as it is now - see him now & then, no pressure on either side. But I'm afraid of getting hurt because right now he's been keeping my interest for longer than any guy i've dated in the past year. My other option, then, is to cut it off and not see him again. Any advice? Comments? thanks, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted March 18, 2004 Author Share Posted March 18, 2004 i just read my post as if it wasn't mine, here's my advice: if this guy were interested, he's start pursuing actively (i.e. wanting to meet at least every week, contacting you several times a week, etc) - he's had enough time (several dates) to get interested. do you really wanna be a girl he takes out now and then when he's got nothing better to do? didn't think so ... so it sounds like it's best to drop this one - just say you're busy whenever he suggests to take you out, and if he pushes the issue, flat out say that 'your styles don't match' - although i'm not sure how you're going to explain that one. good luck, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 HAHAHA Impatience, Yes. I was just about to reply but with opposite advice! Best follow your own, you know what will make you happy. I did not want a bf when I met my husband. We'd get together, have great times, every time we said goodbye I'd wonder if I'd ever see him again. I think he felt similarly for different reasons. A week or so later he'd call, we'd talk, he'd ask to see me .... every time there was a pause while my heart and my head battled it out. the heart won and here we are 17 years later. Why is he not long term material? Are you the type to fall madly in love with axe murderers? If not I'd say why not have fun with a guy you like so much, avoid getting in too deep until you know him better and see how it goes? Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted March 19, 2004 Author Share Posted March 19, 2004 not LTR material mainly b/c of religious differences - i don't know him well enough to give other reasons, yet. perhaps you're right that i should just let it flow and see what happens ... sometimes he'll contact me asking how come i haven't contacted him at all ... see - if it was just a week-long breaks, i'd be OK with it, but it can be 2-3 weeks ... on the third hand, i'm 99% likely moving to a diff't city in less than half-a-year, so light dating is precisely what i need ... HMM. I guess i'll just leave it fluid for now, and see what happens. thanks for your reply! -yes Link to post Share on other sites
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