BS harassing me

[greengoddess]

I don't know if I believe she is a drinker. He even said BINGE drinker. Yea in other words she probably had a few too much to drink a few times when she was being severely gaslighted and of course he runs to his ow and complains his wife is a binge drinker. MM are all so predictable with their scripts of what to say to elicit sympathy and get what they want.

[spice4life]

Just wanted to point this out........facebook is not a blog and any post that is put on your/my wall can be removed simply by clicking the x beside of it. Now on the other hand if the bs is putting posts on her personal or the husbands wall, that is a different story and I'm not sure how that would be handled, although there is a report feature and I would think facebook would take some action.

 

I went back and read the original post and realized the bs may be posting on the OP's fb page. I thought the OP meant the bs was posting this stuff on her own page that's why I suggested the letter. The bs can definitely be blocked from posting the OP's page if it is set to friends and family only. If this is the case then not really sure why the OP hasn't blocked or at least make it so she can't post.

[pureinheart]

You have to have some valid grounds for a RO. An e-mail and a couple entires on FB wouldn't suffice.

 

Harrassment is valid grounds, although it is up to the judge to issue longer than temporary, and they usually will if the harrassment can be proven. Because Blizzard did not contact them after their NC request, I believe she would have a very good case.

 

 

Quite frankly anyone can get a temporary restraining order, whether the complaint is true or not.

 

Some people like to live in la la land about what happens in the legal realm.

 

And threatening the OP is definitely a legitimate complaint.

 

GEL

 

Yes, I can give the thread # upon request, a R/O is what the LS posters recommended for about the same harrassmant.

[whichwayisup]

If this is the case then not really sure why the OP hasn't blocked or at least make it so she can't post.

 

It seems MM's wife keeps disabling and enabling the account so therefore it is hard to block someone when they do that. My suggestion is, for B to deactivate her account and start over again, create a new account and not add MM as a friend (obviously), set her settings to private, and make the search function where noone can search for her. To keep that account going is just askin for the MM's wife to keep on posting on her wall.

 

I don't think you can block someone if they have disabled their account.

[greengoddess]

It seems MM's wife keeps disabling and enabling the account so therefore it is hard to block someone when they do that. My suggestion is, for B to deactivate her account and start over again, create a new account and not add MM as a friend (obviously), set her settings to private, and make the search function where noone can search for her. To keep that account going is just askin for the MM's wife to keep on posting on her wall.

 

I don't think you can block someone if they have disabled their account.

 

All she has to do is delete mm as a friend and then set her account for friends only.

[pureinheart]

I went back and read the original post and realized the bs may be posting on the OP's fb page. I thought the OP meant the bs was posting this stuff on her own page that's why I suggested the letter. The bs can definitely be blocked from posting the OP's page if it is set to friends and family only. If this is the case then not really sure why the OP hasn't blocked or at least make it so she can't post.

 

I wonder if there is a mutual friend...I am not all that familiar with how FB works.

[whichwayisup]

All she has to do is delete mm as a friend and then set her account for friends only.

 

Only problem there is, the inconsistancy of his account. Seems MM's wife is disabling the account after she posts, so B can't delete him as a friend until B sees his name on her list. If his name isn't there, the account has been disabled.

[BB07]

It seems MM's wife keeps disabling and enabling the account so therefore it is hard to block someone when they do that. My suggestion is, for B to deactivate her account and start over again, create a new account and not add MM as a friend (obviously), set her settings to private, and make the search function where noone can search for her. To keep that account going is just askin for the MM's wife to keep on posting on her wall.

 

I don't think you can block someone if they have disabled their account.

 

 

Also...........I know for a fact that if you unblock someone, you can not re-block them for 48 hours. So maybe there is a window of time there to block the bs, of course her deactivating the account may change all that. Here is the faq for deactivation.

[pureinheart]

I don't know if I believe she is a drinker. He even said BINGE drinker. Yea in other words she probably had a few too much to drink a few times when she was being severely gaslighted and of course he runs to his ow and complains his wife is a binge drinker. MM are all so predictable with their scripts of what to say to elicit sympathy and get what they want.

 

I am not sure if you have experience with "binge" drinkers, I knew real binge drinkers...when they binged they literally lost their minds for several days at a time, drinking themselves into oblivian.

 

MM could be triggering this in his W, which would explain the unusual behavior from his W.

[BB07]

Opps.........here is that link. :)

http://www.facebook.com/help/?search=deactiva

[NoIDidn't]

I am not sure if you have experience with "binge" drinkers, I knew real binge drinkers...when they binged they literally lost their minds for several days at a time, drinking themselves into oblivian.

 

MM could be triggering this in his W, which would explain the unusual behavior from his W.

 

My thoughts too. I don't know if he's telling the truth about her drinking, but, if she is, the OP should approach this cautiously.

 

Something must've set her off. Drinking or not, something/someone has poked the sleeping bear.

[whichwayisup]

Here's something. How do you know for sure it's the MM's wife? Just a thought......

[pureinheart]

It seems MM's wife keeps disabling and enabling the account so therefore it is hard to block someone when they do that. My suggestion is, for B to deactivate her account and start over again, create a new account and not add MM as a friend (obviously), set her settings to private, and make the search function where noone can search for her. To keep that account going is just askin for the MM's wife to keep on posting on her wall.

 

I don't think you can block someone if they have disabled their account.

 

This makes sense, and therefore W could gain access anytime she wanted by enabling...wow, that is scary if you think about it.

 

I'd say be VERY careful with FB.

 

Blizzard, if WWIU is right, and I think she's nailed it, I would watch that account for a few days so that you can disable it when it is enabled.

[whichwayisup]

No, take it a step further. Bliz needs to shut down her facebook account and start a new one. Problem solved!!

[spice4life]

 

I don't think you can block someone if they have disabled their account.

 

So someone can deactivate their account and when it's reactivated they automatically pop back up on your friends list? She can defriend the account when it's active though no?

[greengoddess]

I am not sure if you have experience with "binge" drinkers, I knew real binge drinkers...when they binged they literally lost their minds for several days at a time, drinking themselves into oblivian.

 

MM could be triggering this in his W, which would explain the unusual behavior from his W.

 

ah no. I was thinking a binge drinker was someone who really did not drink and then when they did would get fall down pass out drunk.

 

You never know if it is true though since mm are such liars about their wives to garner sympathy. So many married men say their wives are drinkers or druggies and yet they leave their kids home with them while they go out with the ow.

[whichwayisup]

So someone can deactivate their account and when it's reactivated they automatically pop back up on your friends list? She can defriend the account when it's active though no?

 

Yup, only when it's active.

[pureinheart]

My thoughts too. I don't know if he's telling the truth about her drinking, but, if she is, the OP should approach this cautiously.

 

Something must've set her off. Drinking or not, something/someone has poked the sleeping bear.

 

If you think about it NID, who's had the power in this all along...MM. W mostlikely has talked to her friends in the beginning, something would have taken place then if her friends had influence. Most friends will be angry in the beginning, although will advise to let it go, especially after 8 mo (at least that is how I've been).

 

WWIU, I too think MM could be behind this.

[BB07]

So someone can deactivate their account and when it's reactivated they automatically pop back up on your friends list? She can defriend the account when it's active though no?

 

Depending on your privacy settings, your wall can be visible or not to your friends or if you have it wide open, anyone can see your wall. Each user controls their own access and who has access to their wall or any other information on f/b. You can tighten it down really tight or you can leave it completely open. Most people are in between these two extremes.

[2themoon&back]

pureinheart

 

2TMAB and Blizzard, it sounds to me like the MP's are not/did not take responsibility for their part(s).

 

I know this may sound crazy but he did take responsibility all 4 ddays. He told her loved me from the 1st DDay till the last and on the 4th DDay he went to the attorneys office and signed over his part of everything, all their assets, their home, their accounts, everything and admitted to the lawyer he loved me and wanted a divorce. He told my xH that he loved me and wanted to be with me as well, I may be under the bus now but I was not the whole time.

 

I do not know really what changed over the course of a week or two and I guess I never will but it has and I have respected the NC no matter how much pain it has caused me since July and she chooses to still focus on me, I have told her all the truths, she has called me at home, at work, called my boss, my friends, had her friends try to befriend me on fb, tried to do me physical harm, vandalize my car, emailed me pretending to be someone else, rode past my house and the list goes on and on, this is a cause of concern and it is called stalking and harassment and I have documented all of it and kept copies and I am sure the Police will not laugh this out of the station because I have already contacted them and they found no humor in it, no matter what I did with her husband. In my state infidelity is not illegal but stalking and harassment are!

 

They did ask me why I felt the need to do this now and I said because it has all started up again, so they said yes I needed to file the compliant. DONE !!!

 

I know not all BS’s are the same just like all AP’s are the same but bad behavior is just that---bad behavior no matter how justified and at some point we quit reacting and start choosing this behavior.

 

And thank you pure for all the well wishes.

 

I too hope blizzard is careful and does what is best for her.

[spice4life]

Opps.........here is that link. :)

http://www.facebook.com/help/?search=deactiva

 

Thanks this is most helpful. there is a block feature in the privacy link at the bottom of page. You can put in the username and/or email address of the person harrassing you.

[pureinheart]

ah no. I was thinking a binge drinker was someone who really did not drink and then when they did would get fall down pass out drunk.

 

You never know if it is true though since mm are such liars about their wives to garner sympathy. So many married men say their wives are drinkers or druggies and yet they leave their kids home with them while they go out with the ow.

 

The ones I knew could go on for days...the alcohol was like an upper. Then they may not drink again for weeks/months.

 

I think in this case MM may be the real drama junkie...someone is definitely adding fuel to the fire.

[pureinheart]

pureinheart

 

 

 

I know this may sound crazy but he did take responsibility all 4 ddays. He told her loved me from the 1st DDay till the last and on the 4th DDay he went to the attorneys office and signed over his part of everything, all their assets, their home, their accounts, everything and admitted to the lawyer he loved me and wanted a divorce. He told my xH that he loved me and wanted to be with me as well, I may be under the bus now but I was not the whole time.

 

I do not know really what changed over the course of a week or two and I guess I never will but it has and I have respected the NC no matter how much pain it has caused me since July and she chooses to still focus on me, I have told her all the truths, she has called me at home, at work, called my boss, my friends, had her friends try to befriend me on fb, tried to do me physical harm, vandalize my car, emailed me pretending to be someone else, rode past my house and the list goes on and on, this is a cause of concern and it is called stalking and harassment and I have documented all of it and kept copies and I am sure the Police will not laugh this out of the station because I have already contacted them and they found no humor in it, no matter what I did with her husband. In my state infidelity is not illegal but stalking and harassment are!

 

They did ask me why I felt the need to do this now and I said because it has all started up again, so they said yes I needed to file the compliant. DONE !!!

 

I know not all BS’s are the same just like all AP’s are the same but bad behavior is just that---bad behavior no matter how justified and at some point we quit reacting and start choosing this behavior.

 

And thank you pure for all the well wishes.

 

I too hope blizzard is careful and does what is best for her.

 

I am glad you took care of this, and in bold, I feel the same way...a psycho, is a psycho, is a psycho no matter what part of the triangle a person is in, or other situation for that matter.

 

I saved all my "evidence", and was thinking about shredding it a couple of days ago...then thought nope, it doesn't take that much space up:).

 

Mine got to the point of needing a detective, and basically, which I thought was interesting, exDM was the responsible one. I would have had to have gone after him first...he in turn would have had to "turn" his family in...so I left it alone. I don't remember exactly why he was responsible, even though his kids and W acted alone...but, that's how it went down.

Edited January 8, 2011 by pureinheart

[GreenEyedLady]

Not true. BTDT with physical threats against my life.

 

I've read about OW and BS's who have had restraining orders brought against them with ZERO validity to the complaint. And even enforced without evidence.

 

And personally an XGF of my H brought a TRO against him with no validity for the claim. She even offered sex to him after the hearing, in the elevator. (WAAAYYYY before me or his XW.) The court guard thought she was a nut job, too.

 

TRO's can be brought up in court with ZERO evidence. It's the way the legal realm goes.

 

BTDT may apply to you, but it doesn't apply across the board. And if you're being stalked, use the law to it's fullest extent.

 

GEL

[blizzard]

Whew! I am going to continue to read through your posts but this is my thought on some.

 

My gut is to call her. I am weird about a divine being...and praying about it and having this happen only validates that I should. Maybe I am being challenged to make THE right decision. My gut also says to call him. To warn him to take care of fb situation. And to be honest to her. Maybe he has. I really don't know. We live 5hrs apart so I am not worried about rekindling anything with xMM...God knows I am not going through that again. And if she is smart she isn't allowing him to travel without her presence.

I do worry about her psycho, unpredictable behavior. In the past, he has told me that she can be quite the firecracker. But, usually alcohol is involved. He told me she was an alcoholic. Binge drinking. Meaning she drinks excessively once she starts. She can't stop. I do believe him b/c I have seen her drunk. She wasn't typical drinker that got drunk...but a drunk that was feeding herself. And really, I do think that rocked their marriage. She had a habit of embarrassing him. Disrespecting him when she was this way. I witnessed this firsthand. It's sad. I later found out that he fed her problem one night while a group of us went out just to spend time with me. This was before we became physical. I do believe she was drinking when she posted. I just have that feeling. He wasn't there...he had left for work.

I also wonder...my birthday was the day before the post. Maybe she was stalking my fb acct to find out about me...maybe his behavior was odd on my special day. maybe he missed missing my day. so the next day she went prying.

I didn't realize my page was wide open. I normally keep it on lock down. I realized that he had deactivated his acct so no worries in checking how secure. I figured he wouldn't touch a computer with a 10ft pole.

 

I have a few days before I make my decision. I will think hard on it.