BS harassing me

[donnamaybe]

If a person feels threatened by another person’s action, it is possible to get an RO, even if temporary.

 

I don't memorize entire threads. I merely go by the latest posts, and THIS was just a few minutes ago.

[blizzard]

I wish that I could say something remotely intelligent about what's been brought to light...but I am stupid about the legal system.

Please God to let go to RO's and court

 

I had an appointment with my psychiatrist today. I have been attending IC for several months now and it has been a blessing. There wasn't much result at the beginning and I nearly dropped out. But now the pieces are beginning to fit together. I am learning to control of life again. Something my stbx stole from me. No more gloom and doom. I reccommend IC to anyone that is going through any personal crisis. I am getting much more results from IC than I did MC.

 

My therapist said you just WALK AWAY from this situation. That they have their own problems. If she were an alcoholic, it is a long process to recover. She said many will flip flop for years. My therapist doesn't have faith in 12 step programs. She said most alcoholics need support...and inclusion. That it can truly be a battle in marriages. One, is that the spouse never truly recognizes how much of an alcoholic one is...and the severity of it. Ppl can die slowly from it. It deteriorates organs, etc. A spouse may say "yeah, she's an alcoholic" but truly not know the nature of it or what it can do. So the drinking goes on for so long under the spouses nose. Until it gets to be so problematic.

She said he was probably honest in what he said. An alocholic spouse becomes needy. So, the feeling of responsibility occurs within the other spouse. Along with embarrassment. She said maybe he had enough...enough to be pissed and resentful anyway.

 

She also said that maybe he did love me. And maybe he was honest about his plight to divorce/rebuild his marriage...but regardless, given any condition he would have stayed with her. She said to let them decide if their marriage can be fixed. Give them time. To stay out of it.

 

After giving much thought, I have decided to walk away. To not contact her. To let them be. I am going to continue to move forward as I have done for 8mts. Time can run it's course and heal...all of us.

I believe it is best for everyone...all parties. BS has to know there was more to us. In her mind she knows, it's her heart that hasn't caught up with the character he is yet. She is visiting my fb page because she hasn't come to terms. I hope they settle this one day...that he decides to open up to her. Otherwise, what a miserable way to celebrate the union of marriage...to have us always in the back of his mind...til death do they part.

 

It is also best for my little ones. I don't need to stir up any more drama or conflict. I unintentionally screwed up once. I will not intentionally screw up again. They deserve more than this. They deserve two parents divorcing to be in the right frame of mind. An amicable frame of mind. No tug of war custody battles. I am hoping that one day the dust will settle and they will come out unharmed.

 

I pray I am making the right decision. No looking back.

Edited January 10, 2011 by blizzard

[2themoon&back]

It is also best for my little ones. I don't need to stir up any more drama or conflict. I unintentionally screwed up once. I will not intentionally screw up again. They deserve more than this. They deserve two parents divorcing to be in the right frame of mind. An amicable frame of mind. No tug of war custody battles. I am hoping that one day the dust will settle and they will come out unharmed.

 

I pray I am making the right decision. No looking back.

 

Blizzard, I am happy this is the route you are choosing, I think in the long run it will be the best one for YOU.

 

In the meantime, be safe and I wish this to be behind you from here on out ...

 

Good Luck to you.:bunny:

 

And I am sorry for the T/J earlier, it was not my intention to do so and I will work on that... but I am sorry.

[D-Lish]

Look, you were misled by a man who is also misleading his wife. His wife is simply taking her frustrations out on you instead of placing the blame on her husband. She's chosen to make you out to be the enemy instead of accepting the fact that her husband stepped out of the marriage. It's simply easier for her to take this out on you instead of accepting the truth, which might involve taking a hard look at herself and their marriage.

 

It's been months, and you've stepped away. The more you ignore her, the less inclined she will be to keep bothering you. As soon as you engage her- she's going to go ape-shyte.

 

He's made his bed, she's made her bed- it's best if you take solace in knowing both of them have a rocky road ahead of them- and you have nothing but a bright future and opportunity for real happiness ahead of you.

 

I wouldn't engage her at this point, nothing good can come of it. It's obvious he is never going to tell her the truth, he's probably made you out to be the bad guy, and nothing you say or do is going to change that. He needs to make you the bad guy, and she needs to believe you are the bad guy in order to reconcile their marriage. Let them do that if that's what they need to do.

 

The best thing you can do for yourself is wash your hands of both of them.

[pureinheart]

Blizzard, I am happy this is the route you are choosing, I think in the long run it will be the best one for YOU.

 

In the meantime, be safe and I wish this to be behind you from here on out ...

 

Good Luck to you.:bunny:

 

And I am sorry for the T/J earlier, it was not my intention to do so and I will work on that... but I am sorry.

 

Well, actually it's good for Blizzard to have this info, or the outcome...here is my personal experience (will make this as short as possible).

 

ExDM's kids sent 2 emails to my job borderling on threatening, although not actually spelling it out, the rest was ridiculous demeaning questions. I went to my supervisor about it and was advised by all of my upper management to call the police and see what they say.

 

I got home and showed the emails to my daughter and she saw a comment to check a particular email addy (or something like that), well it lead to a myspace page that they created in the name of their dad that had some very personal info on it about me, and I know if I would have pushed it, they would have been in more trouble than they realised..

 

I called the cops and they told me to get a R/O asap and I was assigned a detective.

 

I never followed through because I called exDM and told him he'd better take care of it...I gave a somewhat similar reply earlier in the thread, although can't remember how much detail...hoping that the detail can give more insight.

 

Oh...also exDM got a temp R/O put on him and the complaint consisted of 3 phone calls from exDM, no threats listed at all...I helped him fight it and he won. I tell you even the temp spoke volumns, he left them alone after that.

 

Blizzard, like NID said earlier, document and save any documentation ...if you should get phone calls get copies of your phone history.

 

I am really glad you are moving on, Blizzard please hang out even though you might not need any more advice:)...always remember though ...documentation...(me and my best friend used to say that word a lot because we used to get messed with a lot at work...lol)

[blizzard]

I am scared. Really scared.

 

I caved and called him. Not her. To tell him what had happened. And to ask him to please be sure that I cannot be reached. And I did think that he should know what she had done. Contacting him was not to rekindle anything...because I am moving on. But I swear something didn't seem to be right. None of this did.

 

I'm scared. He wasn't where I could reach him. He had taken a leave of absence. The receptionist said it might be awhile before he returns. She asked who I was...if I were relative or a friend. She said she didn't know if she should say more. I said that I was a personal friend. She asked if knew about his wife. I replied no, is she okay? She sounded really down and said no, not really...but she will be. I told her I would try back at another time...now wasn't a good time to discuss with him what I wanted.

 

It's been 6 days since she posted. I am scared. I fear she has done something to herself...and I don't know what to do or how to know. If she has hurt herself or tried to drink herself to death, I don't know how to live with that....

[donnamaybe]

Honey, there is nothing you could have done to keep this from happening. IMO, he would have had an A with someone else and this would have happened anyway. Not that you're not special, I'm not trying to imply that, but these cheaters are just that. Cheaters. This is NOT your fault. NO WAY!

[BB07]

Blizzard.........if his wife is an alcoholic, she has issues that have nothing to do with you or what happened. If she had a big melt down it might be the thing that was needed for her to reach rock bottom and get the help she needs.

 

We are all responsible for ourselves and our choices, so is his wife. Driving yourself nuts over this will not do you or anyone else any good.

Hugs.......

[Spark1111]

Blizzard.........if his wife is an alcoholic, she has issues that have nothing to do with you or what happened. If she had a big melt down it might be the thing that was needed for her to reach rock bottom and get the help she needs.

 

We are all responsible for ourselves and our choices, so is his wife. Driving yourself nuts over this will not do you or anyone else any good.

Hugs.......

 

I agree with BB!

 

I feel sorry for his wife. My gut? She discovered or was in the process of discovering another untruth of his......and seemed to be seeking clarification from you.

 

It's just a guess.....

 

But, everyone is responsible for their choices. Not sure why you would try to call him but okay.

 

Now that the door has been opened, do not be surprised if he tries to contact you....and maybe tell you more tall tales...of him...her....

 

His wife can continue to twist in the wind. I wish her peace.

 

But in the end, I guess you did what is best for you. I wish you peace, too.

[stillafool]

OP, I have a feeling the BS is contacting you after 8 months because he is involved in another affair and she thinks it is you.

[Goldenspoon]

If she has hurt herself or tried to drink herself to death, I don't know how to live with that....

 

Well, you should have thought about that before becoming a mistress and have sex with someone's husband.

[blizzard]

Well, you should have thought about that before becoming a mistress and have sex with someone's husband.

 

You bring up a good point GS. I can't say that I ever considered myself a mistress...because he said he was on the way out of his marriage. Countless times the fought in their marriage...it was always one foot out of the door. That she wanted it. He wanted it. Timing. Doing it the right way. Then the ring came off, he said a weight had been lifted, they decided on divorce. It wasn't until months later did we become physical. And this was with a lease in his hand. Putting together paperwork. She wanted to do it themselves and not involve an attorney. They discussed seperating assests. He went in to great detail of things he would take, and what he would leave her. Things he would have to purchase. And then, the pet...he would miss the pet. He was blurting our figures, budgeting his money. He discussed his new place to great lengths like you wouldn't believe. He works odd hours so he worried of how we were swing spending time together when the divorce was over...how we could commute. He was excited about taking my kids places, and included them in everything...even thought processes. This is what I was led to believe. Even down to dday...he swore he had lease in his hand...a day from leaving.

You have no idea.

[blizzard]

I agree with BB!

 

I feel sorry for his wife. My gut? She discovered or was in the process of discovering another untruth of his......and seemed to be seeking clarification from you.

 

It's just a guess.....

 

But, everyone is responsible for their choices. Not sure why you would try to call him but okay.

 

Now that the door has been opened, do not be surprised if he tries to contact you....and maybe tell you more tall tales...of him...her....

 

His wife can continue to twist in the wind. I wish her peace.

 

But in the end, I guess you did what is best for you. I wish you peace, too.

 

God's will, the door was never opened. He wasn't there. I made up a fictitious name, saying I was a personal friend. I didn't leave contact info. I told her now was not a good time to bother him with what I needed...that I would call back at another time.

I don't want him calling me. I want/wanted to be in control in this situation. My terms. As I said, I don't want him back. I'm not angry, I have just come so far. And I know he is gone. I have accepted due to marriage, distance...it's not going to happen. He's married. Staying married. If he would have said he was staying 2yrs ago, and working so hard on his marriage and NOT on the verge of divorce, I would have walked away. I called him for two reasons... to make him aware of the fb situation and an uneasy feeling I had about it. First, I wanted to call her off. And that is the only way...HE must do it. If it isn't fb, it would be something else. But I felt that all parties needed to be enlightened as to what is going on. Second, I had three friends that saw the comment text and call me saying that it seemed "psycho" what she said and did. Not rationale. Much like pp have said, things can get disturbed. And pure, I documented my heart out.

She may continue to twist in the wind...but I blame her for torturing herself. She doesn't feel any trust in him, so leave. I now know more than ever, she knows the truth that he is a bonified cheating spouse. And I am at peace with that. And in knowing this, thank God I haven't had to open any doors with anyone.

In a weird way, I feel sorry for him now. It is a peace in my heart that feels it is right to let go of him. After all that has recently happened, what is so incredibly sad...is that he had to cheat on his spouse to "feel love" for her. I don't want that kind of love spark. And I can't imagine that she would either. He doesn't love her. He is a cheating spouse that stays in marriage out of responsibility...and too much of a coward to leave.

 

And I am not sure she was seeking clarification from me. Why not just ask? Why call me profane names..among other things.

Edited January 12, 2011 by blizzard

[blizzard]

Honey, there is nothing you could have done to keep this from happening. IMO, he would have had an A with someone else and this would have happened anyway. Not that you're not special, I'm not trying to imply that, but these cheaters are just that. Cheaters. This is NOT your fault. NO WAY!

 

My bestfriend said the same donna. But I can't help feel I am part of the equation. When I think back on all the talks of how her drinking was getting worse...I would try to discuss it more in depth, getting into his feelings about it...but he didn't want to stay on it too long. It's like, talking about that was downer, and he would focus on us. Me.

I never brought up her drinking b/c he didn't like to talk about it for long. I guess I didn't see the true seriousness in it. Now, I see how it hurt. Hurt their marriage. He would say how she would get drunk...and sleep on the couch...and wake being a b*!@#. How he embarrassed her last year at this event b/c she was loud and drunk, and he was going to embarrass her at this one. I recall one drunken epi happening, and it was bad...I told him how I saw him feeling responsible...to drive her, to go places with her to take care of her...etc. I told him he wasn't "responsible" for her drinking...he wasn't the cause and he couldn't prevent it. And he thanked me sincerely for understanding that. And said he didn't believe it. He felt like it was his responsibility, like he should do something about it. He should rescue her, but she won't admit it's a problem. She thinks she's fine. When ppl laugh at her, she found humor in it. Getting drunk at various functions embarrassed him...he felt disrespected. Said she was so extremely selfish. And that she didn't love him with a whole heart.

 

okay, so...yeah donna...he would have cheated with anyone at the point he was ...and with his record of previously cheating. It was just a matter of time. Thank you ((hugs)) I need reassurance.

[blizzard]

Blizzard.........if his wife is an alcoholic, she has issues that have nothing to do with you or what happened. If she had a big melt down it might be the thing that was needed for her to reach rock bottom and get the help she needs.

 

We are all responsible for ourselves and our choices, so is his wife. Driving yourself nuts over this will not do you or anyone else any good.

Hugs.......

 

An idle mind is the devil's mind right? I am trying to stay busy. I feel weak today...depressed with emotions all over the place. But, my mind is getting over the initial shock. Today I feel just sad, mixed. Whatever the case may be that happened, was he the one that found her? How horrible. Was he the one that was trying to help her...Had he been there the entire time? Why would she do this to him? To herself? He works in a field that deals with tragedy. And to have him face this at home just makes me so sickly sad. He already had a hard time coping with his profession (another way she closed him off . She didn't like hearing about the sadness in his field when he spoke of it...and many wouldn't). I see him broken down, tired. He has gone through so much throughout his life...things a child shouldn't go through. And I wonder when he will finally be happy.

I see her as being selfish today, if she did try to end her life or even addictionally went over the edge. Dealing with infidelity is one thing... we all move on and cope...forming some kind of life again in the future. Death is another. To inflict something so final...to hurt someone in that way by hurting yourself...is an ultimate act of selfishness. No one on this earth deserves that. Not he. Nor I. Nor her family.

So unfortunately, right now I am beating myself up and everyone else. The not knowing what happened is hell. But I am trying to focus on the fact that I was told that she was going to be okay. If it was rock bottom, then someone will be there to help her recover. There's nothing else I can do.

[blizzard]

My bestfriend said the same donna. But I can't help feel I am part of the equation. When I think back on all the talks of how her drinking was getting worse...I would try to discuss it more in depth, getting into his feelings about it...but he didn't want to stay on it too long. It's like, talking about that was downer, and he would focus on us. Me.

I never brought up her drinking b/c he didn't like to talk about it for long. I guess I didn't see the true seriousness in it. Now, I see how it hurt. Hurt their marriage. He would say how she would get drunk...and sleep on the couch...and wake being a b*!@#. How he embarrassed her last year at this event b/c she was loud and drunk, and he was going to embarrass her at this one. I recall one drunken epi happening, and it was bad...I told him how I saw him feeling responsible...to drive her, to go places with her to take care of her...etc. I told him he wasn't "responsible" for her drinking...he wasn't the cause and he couldn't prevent it. And he thanked me sincerely for understanding that. And said he didn't believe it. He felt like it was his responsibility, like he should do something about it. He should rescue her, but she won't admit it's a problem. She thinks she's fine. When ppl laugh at her, she found humor in it. Getting drunk at various functions embarrassed him...he felt disrespected. Said she was so extremely selfish. And that she didn't love him with a whole heart.

 

okay, so...yeah donna...he would have cheated with anyone at the point he was ...and with his record of previously cheating. It was just a matter of time. Thank you ((hugs)) I need reassurance.

 

sorry, that should be how "she" embarrassed him at the event by being loud and drunk...

[donnamaybe]

My bestfriend said the same donna. But I can't help feel I am part of the equation.

Okay, but you and how many other women? And which one should be assigned the blame?

 

If the woman found herself drinking because of her H's behavior (or her own inner demons or WHATEVER), she COULD have done something about it herself. She could have told him they needed to attend M counseling or go to IC or whatever it took - or file for divorce. Drinking oneself into a stupor is NOT a proactive thing to do. It's a very unhealthy thing to do, both for you AND your children. It's not up to you to teach some other woman how to stand up for herself.

 

In retrospect, would you now ever get involved in an A situation again? Most likely not.

 

Please stop beating yourself up about this whole thing.

[pureinheart]

An idle mind is the devil's mind right? I am trying to stay busy. I feel weak today...depressed with emotions all over the place. But, my mind is getting over the initial shock. Today I feel just sad, mixed. Whatever the case may be that happened, was he the one that found her? How horrible. Was he the one that was trying to help her...Had he been there the entire time? Why would she do this to him? To herself? He works in a field that deals with tragedy. And to have him face this at home just makes me so sickly sad. He already had a hard time coping with his profession (another way she closed him off . She didn't like hearing about the sadness in his field when he spoke of it...and many wouldn't). I see him broken down, tired. He has gone through so much throughout his life...things a child shouldn't go through. And I wonder when he will finally be happy.

I see her as being selfish today, if she did try to end her life or even addictionally went over the edge. Dealing with infidelity is one thing... we all move on and cope...forming some kind of life again in the future. Death is another. To inflict something so final...to hurt someone in that way by hurting yourself...is an ultimate act of selfishness. No one on this earth deserves that. Not he. Nor I. Nor her family.

So unfortunately, right now I am beating myself up and everyone else. The not knowing what happened is hell. But I am trying to focus on the fact that I was told that she was going to be okay. If it was rock bottom, then someone will be there to help her recover. There's nothing else I can do.

 

Okay, but you and how many other women? And which one should be assigned the blame?

 

If the woman found herself drinking because of her H's behavior (or her own inner demons or WHATEVER), she COULD have done something about it herself. She could have told him they needed to attend M counseling or go to IC or whatever it took - or file for divorce. Drinking oneself into a stupor is NOT a proactive thing to do. It's a very unhealthy thing to do, both for you AND your children. It's not up to you to teach some other woman how to stand up for herself.

 

In retrospect, would you now ever get involved in an A situation again? Most likely not.

 

Please stop beating yourself up about this whole thing.

 

Donna is right, and unless I missed something, you really don't know what happened.

 

Blizzard, she mostlikely had issues beyond the spectrum of MM...and remember, none of us have the power over life and death, only God does...He is in control...so for real, you can let this go.

[bentnotbroken]

An idle mind is the devil's mind right? I am trying to stay busy. I feel weak today...depressed with emotions all over the place. But, my mind is getting over the initial shock. Today I feel just sad, mixed. Whatever the case may be that happened, was he the one that found her? How horrible. Was he the one that was trying to help her...Had he been there the entire time? Why would she do this to him? To herself? He works in a field that deals with tragedy. And to have him face this at home just makes me so sickly sad. He already had a hard time coping with his profession (another way she closed him off . She didn't like hearing about the sadness in his field when he spoke of it...and many wouldn't). I see him broken down, tired. He has gone through so much throughout his life...things a child shouldn't go through. And I wonder when he will finally be happy.

I see her as being selfish today, if she did try to end her life or even addictionally went over the edge. Dealing with infidelity is one thing... we all move on and cope...forming some kind of life again in the future. Death is another. To inflict something so final...to hurt someone in that way by hurting yourself...is an ultimate act of selfishness. No one on this earth deserves that. Not he. Nor I. Nor her family.

So unfortunately, right now I am beating myself up and everyone else. The not knowing what happened is hell. But I am trying to focus on the fact that I was told that she was going to be okay. If it was rock bottom, then someone will be there to help her recover. There's nothing else I can do.

 

 

First off let's say being so deep in despair that suicide is thought about and attempted is no one's fault except the one making the choice. Secondly, selfish isn't the word to describe most people(and possibly her)....extreme pain and wanting that pain to stop is a better description. When we talk about what who deserves...does she deserve the crushing pain. Pain that you not only feel mentally, emotionally but physically. Does she deserve to want to breath freely without the wait of uncertainty, darkness and despair.

 

If a person who attempts suicide were thinking clearly then they would realize that whatever they are going through will pass like everything else in life. But the key is they aren't thinking clearly and hadn't bee for sometime. Alcohol ( know from personal experience) only adds to the depressed state of thinking. It gives you some relief for a short time but then when the haze is gone the pain returns with a vengeance.

 

The things that he went through in his life didn't give him the right to add to her pain...but he did it anyway. Another example of not thinking clearly I would say. So the finality that you see is ultimate selfishness for her could have been the ultimate release of pain. Maybe she didn't see a future because her past was an indicator of the pain that she could possibly face in the future and she didn't want anymore of it.

 

It is always a possibility that someone will reach their breaking point when pushed beyond the their limit. They have childhoods, past atrocities, brokenness...maybe all she was looking for was some happiness.

[Spark1111]

People develop drinking problems to numb pain.

 

People attempt suicide to end pain, especially when they see no end in sight.

 

Is suicide the ultimate act of selfishness? Of course it is.

 

But I have never been in that much pain, and I thank God for that.

 

Although many are, both BS and WS, following the discovery of infidelity.

 

It was one of the first questions asked of us by the IC.

 

It is more common than you think, unfortunately.

 

Attempting suicide, whether through a bottle, or other means, is RARELY a manipulative tactic for attention. That is a whole other pathology and it is rare.

 

Most suicides attempts are successful. My heart goes out to all who find themselves with that much despair that they no longer want to live.

[KarmasTestDummy]

Donna is right, and unless I missed something, you really don't know what happened.

 

Blizzard, she mostlikely had issues beyond the spectrum of MM...and remember, none of us have the power over life and death, only God does...He is in control...so for real, you can let this go.

 

I agree with this...and it doesn't help jumping to conclusions. I don't recall the receptionist providing details. She could have been in a car accident, or any other non-alcohol, non-self inflicted incident. We just don't know. To beat yourself up over it is crazy. Maybe it was God's will...and maybe she came to your mind and heart after all that time just so you could pray for her, as you did. And think, it is so good that you never did contact her because if you had and she was on the edge teetering, it may have not been as good of an outcome. You did everything right. What I don't want you doing is beating yourself up and getting so sad for him to where you want to reach out and be his support, his rock...because somewhere selfishly you're at a low point and really what you will do is turn to him to hear him say it's ok, it's not your fault and find yourself right back in the a. This has to be your healing point. Move on and let them deal with life and the pieces where they fall.

[blizzard]

I honestly didn't get the feel it was a car accident...

The receptionist was down to earth, but hesitant to give out any information. She spoke with a factual "mmmm no, she's not" like she is but isn't....hesitant to not disclose any info...but quickly followed up with "but she will be." Realizing she couldn't leave me with thinking she isn't recovering. The tone was like telling someone about a kidlike behavior that was wrong...but a lesson was being learned. Like her future is going to be okay in the long haul.

I think she would have been more forth coming if it had been automobile related when I said I was a close personal friend.

Karmatest, thank you. I won't be that rock anymore. I was when I felt he didn't have one...but he chose her, now they have each other. She can be his rock...someday.

[blizzard]

First off let's say being so deep in despair that suicide is thought about and attempted is no one's fault except the one making the choice. Secondly, selfish isn't the word to describe most people(and possibly her)....extreme pain and wanting that pain to stop is a better description. When we talk about what who deserves...does she deserve the crushing pain. Pain that you not only feel mentally, emotionally but physically. Does she deserve to want to breath freely without the wait of uncertainty, darkness and despair.

 

If a person who attempts suicide were thinking clearly then they would realize that whatever they are going through will pass like everything else in life. But the key is they aren't thinking clearly and hadn't bee for sometime. Alcohol ( know from personal experience) only adds to the depressed state of thinking. It gives you some relief for a short time but then when the haze is gone the pain returns with a vengeance.

 

The things that he went through in his life didn't give him the right to add to her pain...but he did it anyway. Another example of not thinking clearly I would say. So the finality that you see is ultimate selfishness for her could have been the ultimate release of pain. Maybe she didn't see a future because her past was an indicator of the pain that she could possibly face in the future and she didn't want anymore of it.

 

It is always a possibility that someone will reach their breaking point when pushed beyond the their limit. They have childhoods, past atrocities, brokenness...maybe all she was looking for was some happiness.

 

Bent there are points I do agree with that you have written...and there are some that I see differently. The bolded I agree with 100%.

Suicide is selfish. Suicide is a purposeful attempt. A suicide attempt is usually interpreted as a cry for help, attention or to let someone know you are in despair and want out...not a genuine intent to die. It is done to express that you are hurting.

I don't blame his past life for what has happened to all parties involved...I simply wonder when is he going to find happiness. He didn't add to her alcoholism. He isn't to blame for that. She was raised around a mom that bounced in and out of recovery in 30yrs of her marriage.

They are both two unhappy souls and only make each other more unhappy. Sad really. A person only gets one shot at life...a day is never a given, but one will waste the air they breathe trying to find someone to make them happy...when only you are your own center.

[donnamaybe]

You know, it COULD just be that she has gone into a treatment facility. Of course they wouldn't want to discuss that!

 

Blizzard, please don't borrow trouble. You've had enough at the hands of this situation already.

[bentnotbroken]

Bent there are points I do agree with that you have written...and there are some that I see differently. The bolded I agree with 100%.

Suicide is selfish. Suicide is a purposeful attempt. A suicide attempt is usually interpreted as a cry for help, attention or to let someone know you are in despair and want out...not a genuine intent to die. It is done to express that you are hurting.

I don't blame his past life for what has happened to all parties involved...I simply wonder when is he going to find happiness. He didn't add to her alcoholism. He isn't to blame for that. She was raised around a mom that bounced in and out of recovery in 30yrs of her marriage.

They are both two unhappy souls and only make each other more unhappy. Sad really. A person only gets one shot at life...a day is never a given, but one will waste the air they breathe trying to find someone to make them happy...when only you are your own center.

 

 

Since I know what I was thinking(and there weren't any selfish actions. Only actions for the ones I loved) and in the group therapy there maybe one that wanted somebody to stay with them...the other 20+ all felt the same despair so will agree that we won't see it the same way.