january2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Share Posted January 9, 2011 I am actually surprisingly great! Thank you! The current issues in my life are of much more value than any past individual. I have not seen you in chat lately I had to take a break from it earlier because of all of the negativity. Some people try to drag others into their negativity, it can be quite draining, so I pulled myself out before it got to that point. I'd tell you all this through PM, but i'm still waiting for you to get that privilege I'm glad to hear that you are feeling great. And I hope that your plans for the future are progressing nicely. I'm not sure that I will go back to chat - you may or may not have heard the reasons from others. I do miss you and Leandro and all those with whom I chatted regularly. I signed up to the same site using my old LS username and essentially I have my own chatroom, but I haven't been in there. So I guess that we will have to wait until I get PM ability. Link to post Share on other sites
J Wool Posted January 9, 2011 Share Posted January 9, 2011 I think this is an important step. After certain triggers, I still get mind movies of past moments of togetherness but I'm not reacting as strongly as I used to. If I'm being honest, my heart still holds a little bit of hope, though my head is gaining more control with every passing day of NC. Just like me. In the process I'm meeting ppl jsut haven't found the 1 to keep the 2 way communication or the ones that I found interest in already have their SO. This sometimes, slightly drain me. I keep wondering I wasn't a bad person, I gave her more than 3 years (no cheating) and yet she can pull away w/o any regrets or remorse and find someone that makes her happy. Well just a thought I haven't questioned the levels of her new fling. Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 ^^^ I know it's not much comfort but every relationship ends. You may never get the answers that you need, but there will come a day when you're fed up and you say to yourself that you're done. There will be no more crying or analysing what's been and gone. All that matters is today and tomorrow. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EricaH329 Posted January 10, 2011 Author Share Posted January 10, 2011 Jan, if you want, I am in your chat. If you'd like to talk, I am here. If not, I totally understand. I am a bit upset at the moment from what I have heard. If you don't want to talk about it, we can wait until you get PM. To stay on topic, i'd like to add that I do agree that logic is very difficult to act upon when emotions are consuming you. However, if you make the attempt to move forward and progress, you will find that logic does tend to sink in. It does take time, but it also takes effort. Link to post Share on other sites
melenkurion Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 I completely agree with the OP in my head. It's totally logical. I hope my squishy emotional bits can catch up soon with that logic. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 I suck at this. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 (edited) Don't mind me, I just raced to find an "Erica" post upon which to bestow my 1400th LS post. Today, 7:39 PM #33 SincereOnlineGuy Established Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,400 Edited February 3, 2011 by SincereOnlineGuy Erica... (sigh) LOL Link to post Share on other sites
i made a mess Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 As a "dumper", I cannot stop thinking about my ex. He consumes my every thought throughout the day to where, I don't get anything done at work some days. When I see my therapist, he's all I want to talk about. With my friends, I just want to sit and talk about him - try to wrap my head around why he just went straight NC and changed his #. I try to rationalize everything that happened the weekend before he cut me out of his life. I try to analyze the million and one reasons why he hasn't replied to the letter or more recently the email I sent him. I found him on a dating website and now I can't help but wonder who is he talking to, is he taking other girls to places we used to go, will this new person really love him as much as I do and take care of him the way I know he needs to be taken care of. It's suffocating to be prisoner in your mind to a relationship that no longer exists. Sorry, off on a tangent - but something my therapist has helped me start doing is asking me this simple question. If I weren't thinking about him, what would I be thinking about. My answer was work. Well what about work? Then she asked "if you weren't thinking about work, what would you be thinking about?". And we did that for a good 5 or 10 minutes and it was so relieving to not thinking about him for that time. I felt like my body relaxed while we were talking about other things. So i've been trying to incorporate it into my every day conversations I have with myself (and there are many! haha) and it seems to help, even if it's just a fleeting 5 to 10 minutes. Link to post Share on other sites
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