recuerdeme Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 Quick recap. Almost 2 years with boyfriend. About 3 months ago he decides to go back to Mexico to "take care" of his ailing mother. Problems have abound ever since. Him partying, drinking all the time, having no time for me, always pushing me aside, not even a Xmas card let alone a gift this last Christmas. Ok so things improved since the Xmas fiasco but rapidly deteriorated a day ago. I went down to Mexico for the end of the year. For the most part it was ok, being that it was a holiday we spent a lot of time with his family. No biggie but when it became apparent that ever single day we would pass the ENTIRE day with his family I got kind of annoyed. Now I'm not a social butterfly, and it's difficult for me to warm up to people... I've known people for years who I still can only manage the weak hi, how are you. Not really shy I just find it difficult to shoot the breeze. So that's one thing the other thing is he would not integrate me, I know most of the family now but some I didn't know and he did not introduce me, some other family member introduced me more often than not... He would just say a "friend" and point in my general direction... He had to point because whenever we would arrive at a local he would just take off and basically forget about me. He wouldn't touch me and barely spoke to me at the events and I was just really uncomfortable. FYI we are both men so there's that "respect" for others excuse he always gave but of course I'm not asking for a make out session. Hug me at the stroke of midnight on the turning of the new year. Whisper something to me while I'm watching (quietly) you and your family play an 8 HOUR game of cards! Little niceties but.... too much for him, meanwhile hes drinking and laughing and hugging everyone else in sight.... people he sees EVERYDAY. Anywho we had a little argument yesterday because I've been saving up to open a business in his hometown in Mexico and he now says he isn't interested. He has no stable job prospects, and is always complaining about his "dire" situation, but after months of talking about this he now isn't interested. And I'm like am I the only one racking my brain trying to figure out how we can be together... then he says he no longer want this or to be committed to anyone. He has said he's wanted to end it before and than recanted but never has he thrown in the commitment reason. Which makes me wonder. We've talked since and are talking but iono he just seems not interested, aloof, distant, different... I think he wants everything easy and no responsibilities. He doesn't want to answer to me or make even the smallest amount of time for me. I really love him but maybe this last argument should be the last. I feel like a windbag... this post is long sorry but thanks for reading. What say you all? Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I'm really sorry to read all of this, and beyond infuriated. From everything that's been going on, it doesn't seem to me like your SO is interested in the same type of relationship that you are. You deserve so much better than this, so I'm not going to say this is necessarily a bad thing. You've gone above and beyond for this guy and he's done nothing to deserve it in my opinion. I also find it totally unacceptable that he would leave you alone at functions, not introduce you to friends/family, and when he does would refer to you as just a friend...how insulting. Unless he gets his sh*t in gear, which seems highly unlikely at this point, I'm really not sure what else can be done to salvage this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author recuerdeme Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 Well the saga is over... at least it seems to be. I kind of think it's a good thing, although I still love him and would like for things to work out for the best with us together... that would only happen if I abandon all logic and self worth which I'm not able or willing to do. As always it would be me to have to get us back on track if that could possible happen because I know he'll never take his head out of his "you know where" to apologize and or change for the better. So things are staying as they are... Now it's just me and the dog. Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Well the saga is over... at least it seems to be. I kind of think it's a good thing, although I still love him and would like for things to work out for the best with us together... that would only happen if I abandon all logic and self worth which I'm not able or willing to do. As always it would be me to have to get us back on track if that could possible happen because I know he'll never take his head out of his "you know where" to apologize and or change for the better. So things are staying as they are... Now it's just me and the dog. I'm sorry you're hurting right now but trust me it will get better. You deserve so much better than what this guy has put you through and I wish you the best of luck in finding it. Being with the dog isn't so bad. I just lost mine a few months ago and I would give the world just to spend one more day with her. Link to post Share on other sites
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