sunsetmonica Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 My heart is being torn apart now, not because my bf left me, but because i am about to call and say goodbye to him. I am so confused now as I don't know whether what i'm gonna do is right or wrong. I don't wanna hurt him but I also do not want to let this relationship continue because after two months with him, I sat down, thought a lot, and realized that I never have any real feeling for him, because deep down in my heart, the feeling for my ex bf with whom i broke up 7 months ago still remains and i'm not quite ready for any new relationship now. .........I wish he would understand what I was about to reveal to him. For sure he's gonna stay quiet and listen to me because he never talks when the pain is attacking him....and i'm scared to death everytime he does that coz it makes me feel like I'm being a devil....But hiding the truth from him and letting him live in the illusion that he's being loved by me actually hurts me more and definitely will hurt him the most later on. To reassure myself, I try to think that if I could handle the same situation 7 months ago when my ex told me that his feeling for me had already been gone for a long time, he, who is 13 years older than me, would certainly be able to handle this too; that if after two months my feeling for him has not grown that much, then his for me would not have also......... I just hope that time will heal everything and help me clean up the mess i made. I'm gonna wait until he wants to talk to me again. I know somewhere out there somebody is waiting for him and ready to make him happy. I wish I could be that person, but i could not deceive myself and anyone anymore.... Link to post Share on other sites
reasontosigh Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 He may be hurt, but since it's only been two months it will hurt a lot less (with some time, of course) than if you were to let it drag on. Frankly, I also think you would not have been able to continue the charade for much longer without bitterness, and ultimately anger, setting in. You possibly would have ended up taking it out on him, which would be far worse. If you need reassurance that you are doing the right thing by ending things now, you are definitely getting it from me. Link to post Share on other sites
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