lovespell Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 Met my true love @ 13, conceived a baby-girl during our 1st time together, & both of ours 1st time ever. She was adopted @ 10 months by her great uncle, as we we'er young & in a rut. We split up after 4 years due to his infidelity, he was young. Now, 17 yrs later we made contact with each other so that we can work something out about seeing our baby-girl for the 1st time in so many years. We discover upon, 1 visit, after all this time apart we both still love each other very much, and long to be in one another's arms again. Is it a dream? The problem for me is I'm in my first serious relationship since him and am unsure who to choose, the true love ( now we live 5 hrs apart) or the new love (of 4 yrs) . Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 Hmmm.....you mention he was a player back then. What makes you think he's changed? A leopard doth not change its spots... You have to decide whether you would love him if you did NOT have your little girl. Is the child merely the spindle that you two are revolving around? Try and imagine him as if the child did not exist (I know that's hard to do). Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 Originally posted by Papillon A leopard doth not change its spots... He was thirteen! Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 A leopard doth not change its spots... That is one of the most annoying of all aphorisms because it's so completely irrlevant. People ... aren't ... leopards. (DUH) People can grow, learn, and change. Certainly someone who's 13 is likely to mature quite a bit over time. How long have you had the 'true love'? Do you have a formal relationship and he's away for business or have you never lived close together? More info needed about that part of the story. Link to post Share on other sites
rennelea Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 Hmm. It sounds as if you haven't seen the "true love" in quite some time. When exes get together there can be sparks. There can be lots of physical attraction still there (and emotional attraction too), because of the good memories you undoubtedly had with him. But over 17 years a lot can change, he's had a lot of experiences and you've had a lot of experiences. You will need to talk a lot and discover the new you and the new him -- and see if you're still compatible. It compounds the feelings once you have a child together. Once I was really lonely before I met my current bf and went to visit an ex for the weekend. It was terrible. I still felt all my attractions for him -- but we realized at the end of the weekend that all we had was really in the past. And it was. It may be different for you but you shouldn't throw away your four-year new relationship on a lark. Do the research and then make the decision. Link to post Share on other sites
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