Hey Everyone - Wanna Set GOALS with Me?

[D78]

Dear LS folks,

 

This is kind of a follow-up to cerridwen's 'Is LS hurting' post from earlier today, and also a reaction to an epic, 4-year thread on another site that I spent too much time reading last night.

 

LS has helped me immensely, so I know I would be much more hurt had I not found this forum. But, obviously the negative posts outnumber the positive posts significantly, so I thought maybe I could add a positive post.

 

The epic thread was from a dumpee. It inspired me because after being dumped, he sat down and mapped out all the goals he would accomplish and all the ways he would change his life. He broke the big goals up into little goals, and went full-speed-ahead. The thread went on so long, I could see his progress over time.

 

Most of us have taken massive hits to our self esteem. I want to get my awesome back. If you do, too... My idea is this: we should list some goals in this thread, and then we can pester one another about our progress. Maybe we could have a weekly update, like the biggest loser thread. (Note - if your goal is to lose weight, gain weight, lose fat, or gain muscle, there's already a thread for that.)

 

If I can get some other folks to contribute, others can read this thread and watch our recovery (hopefully), regardless of how long that might take.

 

I'm working on my list tonight. I will post it tomorrow. If anyone would like to join in, please do. I promise I will pester you.

 

P.S. These are not NY resolutions - everyone breaks those.

P.S. Again. Sorry if this has already been done. I didn't go through all of the posts to make sure

[GreenPolicy]

Dear LS folks,

 

This is kind of a follow-up to cerridwen's 'Is LS hurting' post from earlier today, and also a reaction to an epic, 4-year thread on another site that I spent too much time reading last night.

 

LS has helped me immensely, so I know I would be much more hurt had I not found this forum. But, obviously the negative posts outnumber the positive posts significantly, so I thought maybe I could add a positive post.

 

The epic thread was from a dumpee. It inspired me because after being dumped, he sat down and mapped out all the goals he would accomplish and all the ways he would change his life. He broke the big goals up into little goals, and went full-speed-ahead. The thread went on so long, I could see his progress over time.

 

Most of us have taken massive hits to our self esteem. I want to get my awesome back. If you do, too... My idea is this: we should list some goals in this thread, and then we can pester one another about our progress. Maybe we could have a weekly update, like the biggest loser thread. (Note - if your goal is to lose weight, gain weight, lose fat, or gain muscle, there's already a thread for that.)

 

If I can get some other folks to contribute, others can read this thread and watch our recovery (hopefully), regardless of how long that might take.

 

I'm working on my list tonight. I will post it tomorrow. If anyone would like to join in, please do. I promise I will pester you.

 

P.S. These are not NY resolutions - everyone breaks those.

P.S. Again. Sorry if this has already been done. I didn't go through all of the posts to make sure

 

I'm in. I have some goals of my own.

[BlindRage]

Count me in also

[D78]

I'm in. I have some goals of my own.

 

Sweet! Post whenever you feel like it (no need to wait until tomorrow).

[0hpenelope]

I'll be the random cheerleader on the side. good luck, everybody!

 

If you don't mind sharing the epic 4-year-old thread please, D78?

[KYoung2200]

Definitely sounds like a good idea.

[smilesalot1]

I'll be the random cheerleader on the side. good luck, everybody!

 

If you don't mind sharing the epic 4-year-old thread please, D78?

 

I need to think about some goals and post later. I will get back possibly tomorrow night. Shoot high!!!

[D78]

I'll be the random cheerleader on the side. good luck, everybody!

 

If you don't mind sharing the epic 4-year-old thread please, D78?

 

I tried to send this once, so I'm sorry if it shows up twice. The thread was on another website (e not alone). I tried to post a link, so maybe that's why my first post didn't show up. Go to that site and search for the poster 'caveat'. He only had 1 post and it continued for 4.5 years, about what he went through when his girlfriend "wanted a break."

 

Read at your own risk

Edited January 11, 2011 by D78
to correct ambiguity

[0hpenelope]

I tried to send this once, so I'm sorry if it shows up twice. The thread was on another website (e not alone). I tried to post a link, so maybe that's why my first post didn't show up. Go to that site and search for the poster 'caveat'. He only had 1 post and it continued for 4.5 years, about what he went through when his girlfriend "wanted a break."

 

Read at your own risk

 

What a great read! He emphasized moving on as if the other isn't coming back & while HE was the one dumped, he was the one telling the dumper that he didn't see them together in the future!

 

Great Story!

[dreamingoftigers]

I want to set a goal to organize my daughter's room and move myself upstairs by the end of the week.

[Leandro]

Hmmm, my goals? Short term, Mid term or Long term?

 

 

LIFE GOAL: Successful life (my view).

 

 

Long Term

 

 

1. Have a family. How many kids? I would like 3, but that's all up the wife .
   
2. Career as a Operator at either Shell or Exxon Mobil.
   
3. Own a 2-story log house in the country.
   
4. Have those huge Great Oak trees in the back yard.
   
5. Own a sports car of some kind, preferably Lamborghini, Ferrari or 02 Pontiac Firebird.
   
6. Have a boat of some kind too, probably one of those party boats. Nothing too fancy.
   
7. Have a motorcycle.
   
8. Travel to all the States and to multiple countries.
   

Mid Term

 

 

1. Get Masters degree in Physics.
   
2. Get Masters degree in Mechanical Engineering.
   
3. Get Certificates in both Process Troubleshooting Basic and Advance.
   
4. Have very very good Credit.
   
5. Nice apartment to save up for the log house and other toys .
   
6. Get married, but not kids yet.
   
7. Another goal I can't put on here .
   
8. Get a tattoo (maybe).
   

 

 

 

Shot Term

 

 

1. Graduate with my Associate in Process Technology by 2012.
   
2. Accepted into a Internship with Shell by 2012.
   
3. Take the Exxon Mobil Test by 2012 (just to see where I stand).
   
4. Lose fat (Don't worry, I have another forum to help with that goal).
   
5. A goal I can't put on here .
   

 

My goals will probably change over time. I've had most of the goals for a while. Added a few after the break up.

 

As I complete each one, I'll mark them off on here.

 

Hope I did this right . If not, oh well .

[D78]

Hmmm, my goals? Short term, Mid term or Long term?

 

I'd say all. Whatever you want to share.

 

...

Hope I did this right . If not, oh well .

 

There's no wrong way. I might forget to pester you about whether you have the 2-story house in the country, though.

[Leandro]

Hehehehehe, alrighty.

 

They say it may snow down here again. How's it up there?

[D78]

...They say it may snow down here again. How's it up there?

 

Up there? Down here? Now I'm all confused. Washington?

 

It's 33ish, ice on roads caused by people who can't handle sprinkler operation, but I don't think it will snow again.

[Leandro]

Up there? Down here? Now I'm all confused. Washington?

 

It's 33ish, ice on roads caused by people who can't handle sprinkler operation, but I don't think it will snow again.

LOL, I'm really from Houston.

 

I just say Washington to throw off my ex, since my user name is my real name.

[Rose T]

This sounds cool! I'd love to join in.

I'm a British expat in Italy, so there's lots of fun stuff I'd like to get going with. Some headline goals post break-up:

 

1. Learn French. I already speak Italian and another European language would really boost my CV and my options.

2. Join a sports club and exercise at least twice a week.

3. Socialise outside my comfort zone.

4. Meet more expats / foreigners in my city to broaden my mind.

5. In general, say YES to more activities in groups, whether that's just going for organised drinks or to more structured events.

6. Speak to at least one stranger every day.

 

That's it for now. Off to find out how I can follow through with these!!

[D78]

LOL, I'm really from Houston.

 

Okay that makes sense

 

I'm jealous that you may get more snow. Being... uhh... NOT A TEXAN, i guess you understand that 2009 left me anxious to build another snow man.

[Leandro]

Okay that makes sense

 

I'm jealous that you may get more snow. Being... uhh... NOT A TEXAN, i guess you understand that 2009 left me anxious to build another snow man.

Well I hope it doesn't.

 

Last year me and my ex spent the only snow day of the year together. So if it snows this month, it's going to hurt knowing she's with him and all.

[D78]

...Last year me and my ex spent the only snow day of the year together. So if it snows this month, it's going to hurt knowing she's with him and all.

 

Yeah, I get that. My ex and I used to get so excited when he didn't have to go to work until noon because of ice or snow. We would go immediately to the park, or just slide down the driveway into the alley. I felt kinda sad yesterday knowing that he probably wasn't going to work until noon.

 

Whatever day it was during the 2009-2010 winter when it snowed 12 inches here, we built my first snow man and snow woman. I was kinda hoping to build one to prove to myself that I could do it, and to replace my first snow man memory with a new one.

 

So I will hope for snow up here and not down there

[Leandro]

 

So I will hope for snow up here and not down there

Sounds good to me .

 

I need to build a snowman.

[Gdunkman]

I've built many snowmen in my life, even a snowhouse once, so I'll set some other goals. This year I want to:

A. Graduate from uni, it must be in February

B. Travel to India

C. Move to Montreal

D. Go mountainbiking and snowboarding in Quebec

E. I expect to meet a lot of new people, my goal would be 30.

[abust1]

Mid Term

 

1. Get Masters degree in Physics.
   
2. Get Masters degree in Mechanical Engineering.
   

I'm a mechanical engineer, working on my masters degree right now that I started 5 years ago. Guess why I didn't finish.. because of a breakup!!! Not this time. Good luck. Do you really need all that eduation to be an operator?

[cerridwen]

Short-term goals:

 

No visiting Memory Lane--no looking back.

Finish the five books on my nightstand.

Begin to learn yoga.

Visit the Y three times before Monday.

Fill my refrigerator with healthy food.

Re-subscribe to InStyle.

Reload my ipod with new dance music.

Touch base with every friend I love and let them know.

Be more thoughtful to those around me and give them the love I gave my ex.

 

Longer-term goals:

Learn to read a modern painting.

Ride my Trikke12 uphill.

Perfect my Spanish.

Play my piano.

Regain passion for my profession.

[cerridwen]

Count me in also

 

Don't forget to post, BlindRage.

I think this will help a lot.

[D78]

Thanks everyone for putting down your goals. Let's all help one another make some progress.

 

Wow - you all have great plans. Mine are kinda pathetic, but they are something. I think I've withdrawn from life in a way, so most of my goals are aimed at getting back in the swing of things.

 

I put myself on a 20-week plan, with no main goal other than completing my 20-week plan. I won't bore you with the details, but here's the 4-week outlines:

 

Overall Goals:

** Continue NC ** ** Get Awesome Back ** ** Stop Wanting Him **

- be able to ride 30 miles on my bike without dying so I can do a charity ride in August;

- exercise six days per week (three days cardio mostly biking if able, 2 days strength or cross-training, and one day yoga);

- take Spanish for attorneys class in Spring for 13 weeks;

- do at least one thing I never thought I would do;

- document what I go through;

- don't forget about this thread; and

- meet new friends and hopefully convince them to take me out for my birthday, but forgive myself if this is not in the cards for me right now.

 

 

January 11, 2011 (a great day to start) - February 7, 2011:

- attend at least two group social functions (meetup groups count) and talk with at least two people at each function;

- write at least one article for my work blog;

- fix website SEO issues and catch up on other work;

- save money for office you were about to rent when you were dumped;

- read at least three books;

- eat at least one meal at a restaurant alone;

- learn how to play at least one new song very well;

- finish remodeling front half of house (not too much left, so this isn't as challenging as it might sound);

- eat at least twice a day, and drink protein shakes to make up for the food I didn't eat.

 

 

February 8, 2011 - March 7, 2011:

- make contact with new office folks and make all arrangements for moving in;

- attend at least three social group functions and talk to at least two people at each function;

- attend at least one professional function and exchange at least two business cards;

- start volunteering with the Bar Assn again;

- write at least two articles for my work blog;

- learn how to play at least one song very well;

- eat two meals at two different restaurants alone;

- finish remodeling back half of house;

- go to improv comedy group thing; and

- eat three times a day, with the ultimate goal being five small meals a day.

 

 

"HEY, this doesn't equal 20 weeks!" I know, because it's as far as I got! I started doing the things I wanted to write down... If this thread is still alive in eight weeks, I will update my goals.