Hey Everyone - Wanna Set GOALS with Me?

[Gdunkman]

A. Working on it, it can be done next week.

B. Two more friends joined our team, there are four of us now, and I'm a group leader, as Im the only one who travelled to India before. Met indian guy in a hostel, who gave me some sightseeing instructions.

C. Got a canadian permanent residence visa last week, met with a guy we plan to rent an apartment with.

D. I'm going to work on it after moving to Montreal.

E. I don't count online contacts, I met 2 people this month for real and developed friendly relations with 2 more. 30 people per year won't be hard.

 

I think I have to think about more goals, as I will hopefully reach A and B within a month.

 

I realy like this thread, so I decided to continue, hopefully other posters will join. Goals A and B were riched as planned, time to set new ones.

 

A. done

B. done

C. Moving to Montreal - under control, booking tickets for September.

D. Snowboarding and mountainbiking in Quebec - will be done later, meanwhile mtb weekend is planned in Ukraine in April.

E. 30 new people to meet in 2011 - met 7 as for now (2 Odessa hostel guys, 2 T. and A. friends and 3 people in India)

F. Start swimming trainings. This goal will be marked as done after ten trainings.

G. Set 2-3 new goals before April.

[0hpenelope]

Hello, D78! I haven't seen you around lately and I'm choosing to think of it as a good sign that you're moving on and you're progressing just fine.

 

I looked at my list and I realized that I have mixed my long-term and short-term goals.

My goals are pretty humble, I think:

 

1) Find a job

2) Do well on GREs

3) Consolidate loans (this sounds funny, but uh... very important)

4) Pay off loans

5) Apply to an MPH program and get into any of my top choices

 

1) Haven't found one! Now I'm just looking for a temporary job as I'm feeling pretty good that I won't be where I am for long.

 

2) I didn't do as well as I would have liked, but I've done my best. The quantitative portion of the GRE is so random and I studied strategies to anticipate the questions to the best of my abilities. Kaplan and the (blank) for Dummies books worked for me and they're absolutely right. I even showed some of the test questions to an engineer major in the family and the family member said "What the heck are they asking you now?" The problems are solvable of course, but the manner in which the GRE asks the questions are so unusual. The strategies are important help for that extent.

 

3+4) These are long-term goals. They'll happen in time and when the economy gets better, but specifically for #4, I hope to start at least paying down my student loans. If I win the lottery soon, I will make this goal happen even faster! Plus I'll get to help my family out much sooner.

 

5) I just turned in my application for those programs and I'm really excited/nervous/hopeful all at the same time. It's such a huge accomplishment for me as I really feel hopeful that I'm going to get into at least one school and it's been acting like a shield against any thoughts of my ex. Oh, I just had a thought of him and I'm annoyed at him right now. So please, anyone who can spare a positive thought or prayer to this endeavor - Penny getting into grad school, I mean - I hope you will. Thank you!

 

 

How's everyone else doing?

[Gdunkman]

 

5) I just turned in my application for those programs and I'm really excited/nervous/hopeful all at the same time. It's such a huge accomplishment for me as I really feel hopeful that I'm going to get into at least one school and it's been acting like a shield against any thoughts of my ex. Oh, I just had a thought of him and I'm annoyed at him right now. So please, anyone who can spare a positive thought or prayer to this endeavor - Penny getting into grad school, I mean - I hope you will. Thank you!

 

 

How's everyone else doing?

 

Great news! Congratulations! Did this thread help you somehow?

 

My update:

F. I've been to 2 swimming trainings as for today and I like it so much , learning breaststroke and looking forward to freestyle lessons.

G. New goal. Start yoga training, it's good in spiritual sence and I need stretching for swimming anyway. Will go yoga after 10 swimming trainings (will do both in rotation)

H. Read four books before summer.

[0hpenelope]

Great news! Congratulations! Did this thread help you somehow?

Thanks, man! The thread was a great reminder of how many of us are actively keeping busy and healing, so it was nice to be able to draw some inspiration from here. Also, I just hope it sets a good example of how healing differs for everyone. Point is, keep moving forward and learn the lessons along the way. We are always a work in progress.

 

I hope everyone else is doing well on their goals. There's nothing wrong with falling off the bandwagon (I know I have what with the job thing - the economy isn't cooperating, that's for sure) as long as we get back on it.

[cerridwen]

After my last update on this thread things got bad.

 

I wasn't able to exercise or even get out of bed!

The foot problem turned into full immobility

No yoga, no exercising, no work.

Lots of pain, loneliness, uncertainty.

I got terribly depressed.

A friend let me down--breaking my heart.

 

Then he struck.

The ex.

He reached out in tears needing my friendship.

Lonely, 99% sure I was over him and could handle it, I said "ok."

 

We stayed in contact continuously over text and phone.

"Hey!" I thought. "I'm over him! I can do this!"

Within days I realized I wasn't over him.

I became paranoid about who he was spending time with.

The stress added to my illness.

This wasn't benefiting me at all!

 

So, for the third time since our b/u in October, I'm back to NC as of last Thursday.

 

New Goals:

 

• Get my work life in order before returning in May. I'm SERIOUSLY, relentlessly, disorganized.
  
• Do something about my A.D.D.
  
• Start the Bach Flower Essence treatments
  
• Stay in touch with my girlfriends
  
• Let my relationship with my ex's parents cool
  
• For Pete's sake, eat healthier. My God!
  
• Be aware of self-defeating thinking. Specifically, self-doubt.
  
• Notice what I've really come to secretly think about myself. Because it's effected me for the worse.
  

Wishing everyone continued healing!

[0hpenelope]

Bop that ex with your phone, cerridwen! Or perhaps with multiple phones, including his own. :lmao:

 

I am now officially employed! On a temporary status of course, which is fine since I'm hoping to get into grad school this Fall.

 

Still waiting to hear from those schools.

[D78]

Sorry I took too long to reply - I took a temp hiatus from LS. I thought this thread was dead. I'm so happy to read your updates!

 

What do you mean by you "learned 4 new songs"? On an instrument?

 

Yep. I play the ukulele, but I was taught by a music snob so I play it like a classical guitar. I don't know why, but it's so much fun to learn a new song (especially when others recognize it).

 

Would you recommend any of the books you read?

 

The one book I read that I liked was Straight Up and Dirty: A Memoir. It's about a lady who was dumped, how she replayed the relationship, tried rebound relationships, etc. And, in the end, she gets her act together and comes out of the whole thing better than she was. A warning, though - It was written by the same person who writes Sex and the City, and I think the sex talk might be too much for anyone with any sense of decency.

 

 

I realy like this thread, so I decided to continue, hopefully other posters will join.

 

Yes! You make achieving goals look easy, Gdunkman. Thanks for reviving the thread.

 

 

After my last update on this thread things got bad.

 

I wasn't able to exercise or even get out of bed!

The foot problem turned into full immobility

No yoga, no exercising, no work.

Lots of pain, loneliness, uncertainty.

I got terribly depressed.

A friend let me down--breaking my heart.

 

Then he struck.

The ex.

He reached out in tears needing my friendship.

Lonely, 99% sure I was over him and could handle it, I said "ok."

 

Wow - you're a better person than I am! Going through hell, and you were still there for him when he was in tears.

 

For some reason, your "Notice what I've really come to think about myself" goal is really interesting to me. Maybe I need to do that, too?

 

 

Hello, D78! I haven't seen you around lately and I'm choosing to think of it as a good sign that you're moving on and you're progressing just fine.

 

Thanks 0hpenelope. I needed a LS break. For a while, every time I would come here I would cry. I guess I needed to sort some things out in my head. I must have succeeded because I'm here and not crying

 

 

I am now officially employed! On a temporary status of course, which is fine since I'm hoping to get into grad school this Fall.

 

Congrats on the job! How's it going so far?

 

 

My Update:

 

I've been going to the library every 3 weeks, checking out 5 books, and usually finishing 3 of them. So the book part of my goals is on track. I've also been playing uke a lot so I guess the learning songs part of my goals is also on track.

 

The rest of my goals, I think, were things I didn't really care about. I either had to do them, or put them on my list because I wasn't really passionate about anything.

 

After searching for months, I finally found something I'm passionate about! I decided to seriously pursue it, and once I started taking steps to meet that goal, all these other things fell into place.

 

I am more excited each day, so I don't put off work or chores. I see them as obstacles I must get past to do what I want to do. My goal requires me to be in great physical shape, so exercising each day is a breeze. I have to learn all the rules, so I spend a lot of my free time reading the rulebook. And, I have to practice 2-3 times per week, so it consumes my time and I don't have time to mope.

 

Every single person I've met who is involved with this has been so cool. It's strange to be in a room with 200 strangers and feel like you could walk up to anyone and strike up a conversation without fear. When you add the people I met while trying to find this new hobby, I've met a lot of new people on my own, probably for the first time ever.

 

What's my new thing? Roller derby

 

So, my goal is to be skating on a team by this time next year, if not earlier. That's not entirely within my control, so I guess I should say my goal is to be good enough to be on a team and deal with it if 20 girls show up who are all much better than me. When they said the best way to get over someone is to get under someone, I don't think derby is what they meant but who cares...

 

Whew. Sorry for the long post!

[0hpenelope]

Congrats on the job! How's it going so far?

My job is... my job. It brings in the money, which leads me to my newest update.

 

I officially received my admission to grad school. I got admitted into a program that combines Epidemiology and Behavioral Science and I'm very ready to get my Science ON! :lmao:

 

I'm super excited for your roller derby, D78! Is that the reason why you haven't been on LS that much? You've been getting your skate on! Let the good times roll (and roll and roll and roll).

 

I've been in touch with a few people on this thread (here's looking at you, dear cerri and Gdunkman!) and I hope to see other users who set goals give a short update if possible. I love seeing people grow in their healing and understanding of themselves. It truly is the best outcome of a broken relationship: getting into a better relationship with ourselves.

 

"I'm going to have me for the rest of my life, so I had better start liking myself! Because I ain't going nowhere"

[0hpenelope]

Ok, I'm back to resurrect this thread. Hopefully, it will encourage a few of the new members to take a look at creating goals for themselves.

 

In the remaining weeks before I head off for grad school, I signed up for guitar classes. Today, I bought a beautiful Yamaha and I'm so excited to learn! I've played the violin before, so getting used to the fingerboard isn't too much, but re-learning the hand coordination will take time.

 

I've also gotten my violin back from a cousin who used it for her music elective, so I'll be re-familiarizing myself with that as well.

[giuliano-3]

Ok, I'm back to resurrect this thread. Hopefully, it will encourage a few of the new members to take a look at creating goals for themselves.

 

In the remaining weeks before I head off for grad school, I signed up for guitar classes. Today, I bought a beautiful Yamaha and I'm so excited to learn! I've played the violin before, so getting used to the fingerboard isn't too much, but re-learning the hand coordination will take time.

 

I've also gotten my violin back from a cousin who used it for her music elective, so I'll be re-familiarizing myself with that as well.

 

I like it, uplifting to read about so many who've set goals and followed through. Its a difficult thing to set aside the anguish/self loathing and reach for something new in life. Along my path some dreams have died by the wayside, and I've let too much slip in my day-to-day living.

 

1) enroll in a culinary arts program

2) splurge and buy myself a rickenbacker bass guitar

3) spend an hour every day outside w/dog

3) spend an hour every day writing (LS not included)

4) seek professional help/support groups for being a caregiver

5) start eating healthier again/cooking more often - no Five Guys for awhile

6) go to dentist, get cavit(ies)y filled

7) spend no more then an hour each day on internet.

8) stretch/push-ups/sit-ups every day, play a sport 2 times per week min

9) get my mom's backyard in order, an hour per day

 

So, thats about 5 hours per day spoken for. Add in work and I'll still have about 5 non-sleeping hours to fit the rest of my day into. I'll give myself a couple of months to complete the other goals. Never done anything like this before, glad I did it though.