The Sexting Story....and the Cheating that came with it.

[Loquacious Miss L.]

So I dated this guy named J for a few months. We just broke up tonight and here's why....some of this is my fault, but let me explain what happened....

 

We had been dating for about three months when around Christmas time I had discovered while going through his phone that he had signed onto his yahoo messenger account and said "Hi sexy," to another woman. He came up with an excuse as to why and so I let it go, chalking it up to stupidity.

 

I should have listened to my instinct then.

 

He has an ex wife that he has an interesting relationship with to say the least. But that's neither here nor there.

 

The meat of the story:

 

So last Thursday I hacked into his email account. Wrong on my part but nevertheless, I did some detective work. In his sent file I saw he had uploaded a picture of another woman's derriere with her name underneath it. So what did I do? I copped to the email hacking and confronted him.

 

At first he told me that it was a girl he went to school with in Ohio. He said initially their contact was catching up. He then told me their texting turned sexual. He then asked for a picture of her butt which she sent to him. (This is all according to him). The contact then continued all the way from December 18th to around January 4th. I found this out January 6th. He had told her around January 4th that he didn't want to talk to her anymore or text. He told me the texts had been sporadic from around December 21st (the date of the picture) to Christmas Day when she texted him. He was with me on vacation from December 23-January 3rd. Initially he told me that they weren't in much contact because she had just "respected" the fact that he was in a relationship.

 

So the last few days I had been torn. I couldn't decide whether to break up with this man because I loved who I thought he was. I thought maybe I could get over this hurdle. But everytime I closed my eyes I thought of the pic that I saw and the lies...that were unraveling.

 

Tonight was the catalyst that broke me down. He confessed he had told her not to contact him when he wasn't at work and that he would be with me certain days. Which means....he had no intentions in my mind of ever telling me although he said he would have.

 

So, I broke up with him tonight. That's it. I am done. I should have kicked him to the curb when I initially found out about it but I didn't.

 

How could I be with a man who could disrespect me like that. And upon further research, I discovered that we hadn't broken up for even 3 hours when he had already posted dating ads.

 

He has a sex addiction...a past riddled with lots of women, a volatile ex wife, a need for ego fulfillment, etc. Wish I had seen the forest for the trees. I am glad I got out when I did.

[carhill]

Sorry to read that. Dating is nothing if not 'getting to know'. Wish it had turned out differently. My sympathies....

[Loquacious Miss L.]

Thanks so much. It sucks when your head says one thing and your heart says another. It feels like a bad dream. When I was breaking up with him, I said, "I love you but I love myself more." Had to do it. Writing it out just makes me feel so ashamed.

[Loquacious Miss L.]

Yes he did. Well said.

[rachel7475]

Don't you just wonder how relationships would be now if there were no phones, no internet and no TV? A lot less cheating!

[carhill]

In the old days (my generation and a few before that), it was love letters, pay phones and the 'no-tell' motel. Clandestine rides in the horse and saddle days. On and on, back to the beginning of time. If people wanted to 'cheat', they found a way. Someday, when we're perhaps able to have instantaneous virtual sex, those people will look back upon our 'sexting' and 'web cam sex' as archaic as we might love letters and stamps.

[Negative Nancy]

In the old days (my generation and a few before that), it was love letters, pay phones and the 'no-tell' motel. Clandestine rides in the horse and saddle days. On and on, back to the beginning of time. If people wanted to 'cheat', they found a way. Someday, when we're perhaps able to have instantaneous virtual sex, those people will look back upon our 'sexting' and 'web cam sex' as archaic as we might love letters and stamps.

 

That made me think that online cheating or however you wanna call it will go rampant when porn 3d or even 4d becomes available...

[Loquacious Miss L.]

Cheaters will always find a way especially if it's engrained in their psyche like with my guy.