tobydog1 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT]Oh where do I start.... After a few mails this week, initiated by him....I sent one to say he has let his son down when he failed to pick him up etc. So I get this today from him........ [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2](What a cheek, I have no girlfriends. just friends who have put a roof over my head until I get my self sorted you will find out at the end of Jan what I mean by this, I will be out of your lives for good which deep down is what you all want.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]I am damaged because of you and what you have done to me over the years both mentally and physically and I can.t even rebuild my live because of the state I am in, but since when do you care you made me this person!!!![/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]I just want to see my son I have no transport to see him the fiesta is not working and will be getting scrapped in a few days, I could of used the volvo to take my son out but since you cancelled the insurance for me I can.t take him I had the white almera and tino both of mine but this went down for the deposit for the volvo.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]You can.t even be nice to me, I gave you that beautiful little boy with big blue eyes and this is how you speak and treat me.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]Remember one thing that night you stabbed me, I will never forgot what you did to me, might not be a BIG thing for you?? but to me It's a nightmare that I can.t get out of my head and I don.t trust anyone not even you.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]I might of gone for a few drinks with mates the night you stabbed me, but Its You!! I always came home to[/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]Anyway take care and look after our beautiful matthew and don.t let him down like I have we both have let him down he was such a happy little boy and does not deserve this **** and love him that's all he needs.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]I will be very very far away from matthew soon so tell him that I love him and will thinking about him every second of the day my head is in bits and need to fix it.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]Money I don.t even have money I have a business thats flat on its face and feel like forgetting about because my head is so ****ed with stress I am losing weight each day and have that bad chest I had when I went down to 9 stone plus everything else what more can I take until my head explodes and decide live is not worth this ****!!!! that how I feel everyday.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]If only you did not stab me that night none of this nightmare would not be happening.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]Thank you for the picture of matthew I cry myself to sleep each night looking at him.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]Take care[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]Andrew )[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial]So what is this, an olive branch of sorts? I am sobbing again reading this. I feel so sad again, have I ruined his life so much? I can't bear the guilt.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Please note the Stabbing was not a stabbing per se, he rolled in drunk and fell on the keys as he stumbled in the door which cut his cheek.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Is this all BS or true?[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]How do I reply?[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]x[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Help me work it out, some of you are great at analysing such stuff x[/FONT] Link to post Share on other sites
Author tobydog1 Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 Sorry for how this turned out, please don't let it stop you reading it. Just don't how to copy properly. x Link to post Share on other sites
You Go Girl Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I can't make heads or tails out of that... but, if he believes you stabbed him and you didn't, then you had best fix that first before expecting any type of rational thinking from him. Just the fact that he believes you stabbed him, true or not, means that he emotionally needs to distance himself from you. Tell him when he's welcome to see his son, and don't discuss other stuff. The two of you are too messed up for any other conversation. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Wait, who got stabbed? I think the stabbee should go NC immediately FFS Link to post Share on other sites
Author tobydog1 Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 No-one got stabbed. he rolled in drunk at 2am, I opened the door with the keys in my hand and he fell on them and cut his face. I am not violent and he knows this, But he thinks I intentionally stabbed him. I did not. I love him, I have loved him for 15 years, I would never hurt him. Is it an olive branch of sorts? Thanks for all replies x Link to post Share on other sites
Author tobydog1 Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 The whole post is a mess, sorry. I treid to edit it but no luck..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author tobydog1 Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 How do I get rid of all the font rubbish? Link to post Share on other sites
worlybear Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 He sounds like he needs medical help. Have you got a mutual friend who could persuade him to go to the doctor? Link to post Share on other sites
just_some_guy Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 (edited) Oh where do I start.... After a few mails this week, initiated by him....I sent one to say he has let his son down when he failed to pick him up etc. So I get this today from him........ (What a cheek, I have no girlfriends. just friends who have put a roof over my head until I get my self sorted you will find out at the end of Jan what I mean by this, I will be out of your lives for good which deep down is what you all want. I am damaged because of you and what you have done to me over the years both mentally and physically and I can.t even rebuild my live because of the state I am in, but since when do you care you made me this person!!!! I just want to see my son I have no transport to see him the fiesta is not working and will be getting scrapped in a few days, I could of used the volvo to take my son out but since you cancelled the insurance for me I can.t take him I had the white almera and tino both of mine but this went down for the deposit for the volvo. You can.t even be nice to me, I gave you that beautiful little boy with big blue eyes and this is how you speak and treat me. Remember one thing that night you stabbed me, I will never forgot what you did to me, might not be a BIG thing for you?? but to me It's a nightmare that I can.t get out of my head and I don.t trust anyone not even you. I might of gone for a few drinks with mates the night you stabbed me, but Its You!! I always came home to Anyway take care and look after our beautiful matthew and don.t let him down like I have we both have let him down he was such a happy little boy and does not deserve this **** and love him that's all he needs. I will be very very far away from {son's name deleted} soon so tell him that I love him and will thinking about him every second of the day my head is in bits and need to fix it. Money I don.t even have money I have a business thats flat on its face and feel like forgetting about because my head is so ****ed with stress I am losing weight each day and have that bad chest I had when I went down to 9 stone plus everything else what more can I take until my head explodes and decide live is not worth this ****!!!! that how I feel everyday. If only you did not stab me that night none of this nightmare would not be happening. Thank you for the picture of matthew I cry myself to sleep each night looking at him. Take care {name deleted} ) So what is this, an olive branch of sorts? I am sobbing again reading this. I feel so sad again, have I ruined his life so much? I can't bear the guilt. Please note the Stabbing was not a stabbing per se, he rolled in drunk and fell on the keys as he stumbled in the door which cut his cheek. Is this all BS or true? How do I reply? x Help me work it out, some of you are great at analysing such stuff x So here's the Cliff Notes: 1. You had email contact with him this week and you sent him one, yet again using your child to beat him up. 2. Now you posted his response back to you. Where he says you stabbed him on what was appearently the last night you were together. 3. You're claiming complete innocence. Early on in your first few posts on this board, you admitted to have been a problem drinker and gotten physically abusive to your husband and he left. It seems that revisionist history is in full force with you and now your story is he scratched himself with a key. He seems quite certain that you stabbed him. It would appear that you are accusing him of having girlfriends from his response - an accusation you've made on the board as well. Like I mentioned before, you're using your kid as a weapon to beat him up. Seems like your getting real good at hitting your ex over the head with the boy. Keep it up, never mind the damage to the kid. You asked me in another thread why I don't seem to like you and everyone else does? Well, that's pretty simple. I don't like self-centered abusive parents. You've slowly changed your camouflage and story on the board over time to gather sympathy and I don't like liars and attention/sympathy whores. Honestly, your kid should be removed from your custody. Probably both of your custody, until the authorities can sort this out and you and probably he, grow the hell up. For god's sake, get some professional help and stop using your kid as a weapon. Every time you use the kid as a way to pummel your ex, you're pummeling the kid. Your habit of "reminding him he is letting his son down" is in fact, nothing more than using the kid as a club. This is a very sick, self-centered and abusive thing you got going on here. PS: It would also be advisable, for everyone's sake, to remove the names of your ex and son. Edited January 11, 2011 by just_some_guy Link to post Share on other sites
sirweasles Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 (just_some_guy) "Every time you use the kid as a way to pummel your ex, you're pummeling the kid. Your habit of "reminding him he is letting his son down" is in fact, nothing more than using the kid as a club." First I must ask are you a father. second would be if you are how often do you call see or interact with your kids. I am a father of 3 beautiful little girls my oldest is 12 she is not biologically mine. Her sperm doner sounds alot like Tobydogs childs sperm doner. IT IS NOT BEATING THE GUY OVER THE HEAD WHEN IT IS HURTING THE CHILD. my daughter has almost had bladder failure she has been to counseling for severe anger issues and will for the rest of her life be messed up becouse her sperm doner abandoned her only wait he had same attitude and has shown himself enough to give her hope and promised her enough to crush her heart. I went home for christmas I couldnt aford too and I knew I wasnt allowed to go stay at my home instead I stayed 30 miles away at my parents house I ran my self almost completely out of money using my dads car so that my girls who miss there DAD would get to see me and spend as much time with me as possible I talk to my 12 year old a couple times a day and my 2 younger ones a couple times a week I just set up video chat so that my youngest could actually talk to me but im 700 miles away Im sorry if you see her looking out for her child as using him as a club. this forum is not a place to be calling people liers or any of that sh*t people come here for advice and for comfort and to just get out some of there frustrations we do not come here to listen to spoiled punk kids bi*ch about how the can read into everybodys lieing minds. First you do not know Tobygirl or really anything about her situation. and granted there are 2 sides to every story this isnt a devorced couples chat here so we only get one side of every story you read it if you have advice you respond if you dont have anything productive to say shut the f*ck up and move to the next thread. Link to post Share on other sites
sirweasles Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Sorry that just struck a very tender thread! If a person truely loves and respects there children there will never be away out side of court order for them to disapoint them with excuses. My car doesnt work. SO WHAT!!!! I garenty that sombody would give you a ride. You cancelled my insurance. AND!!! your a big boy get your own! Nothing I mean nothing is sadder than a parent that makes excuses to not see there kids!!!! END OF STORY!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author tobydog1 Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 Thanks Sirw for your support. Just some guy always posts mean comments to me! JSG--I really object to being called a whore as I am just not in any way. Suggesting he is removed from me is riduculous, I am a 50 yo professional teacher in senior management. The incident was a one off tho I did drink too much but not every day just 2x per week. I have gotten help and am doing fine now. I just wanted some help to try to interpret his mail, that is all. I am not actually self centered just trying to get to grips with the nightmare I am in. Anyway thanks for removing all those fonts......x Anyway- I am not some abusive parent at all. I love cherish and protect my son. I don't tell him if/when his father is coming so as not to get his hopes up. I protect him of course. Yes I do remind him about his responsibilities as a father, why not? Why shouldn't I? But what I was asking for was someone to tell me what the email meant. Was it all rubbish or was he trying to reach out to me a bit. I felt like the anger was gone, he was civil for the first time. What do I reply? Cheers to anyone still reading this! X Link to post Share on other sites
just_some_guy Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Thanks Sirw for your support. Just some guy always posts mean comments to me! JSG--I really object to being called a whore as I am just not in any way. Suggesting he is removed from me is riduculous, I am a 50 yo professional teacher in senior management. The incident was a one off tho I did drink too much but not every day just 2x per week. I have gotten help and am doing fine now. I just wanted some help to try to interpret his mail, that is all. I am not actually self centered just trying to get to grips with the nightmare I am in. Anyway thanks for removing all those fonts......x Anyway- I am not some abusive parent at all. I love cherish and protect my son. I don't tell him if/when his father is coming so as not to get his hopes up. I protect him of course. Yes I do remind him about his responsibilities as a father, why not? Why shouldn't I? But what I was asking for was someone to tell me what the email meant. Was it all rubbish or was he trying to reach out to me a bit. I felt like the anger was gone, he was civil for the first time. What do I reply? Cheers to anyone still reading this! X Lady, if your actions in real life are anything like they are online, you are most definitely, self-centered, abusive and attention seeking. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tobydog1 Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 I am NOT abusive, I AM seeking attention from this forum and I have never been self centered. My son is my main focus. I am a normal (ha) woman with a lot of pain. I have done things wrong but am not some addled drunk. Get over me Man. x Go pick on someone else now and leave me alone. You are not constuctive nor remotely helpful. Your nasty posts make me upset all day..... Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT]Oh where do I start.... After a few mails this week, initiated by him....I sent one to say he has let his son down when he failed to pick him up etc. So I get this today from him........ [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2](What a cheek, I have no girlfriends. just friends who have put a roof over my head until I get my self sorted you will find out at the end of Jan what I mean by this, I will be out of your lives for good which deep down is what you all want.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]I am damaged because of you and what you have done to me over the years both mentally and physically and I can.t even rebuild my live because of the state I am in, but since when do you care you made me this person!!!![/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]I just want to see my son I have no transport to see him the fiesta is not working and will be getting scrapped in a few days, I could of used the volvo to take my son out but since you cancelled the insurance for me I can.t take him I had the white almera and tino both of mine but this went down for the deposit for the volvo.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]You can.t even be nice to me, I gave you that beautiful little boy with big blue eyes and this is how you speak and treat me.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]Remember one thing that night you stabbed me, I will never forgot what you did to me, might not be a BIG thing for you?? but to me It's a nightmare that I can.t get out of my head and I don.t trust anyone not even you.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]I might of gone for a few drinks with mates the night you stabbed me, but Its You!! I always came home to[/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]Anyway take care and look after our beautiful matthew and don.t let him down like I have we both have let him down he was such a happy little boy and does not deserve this **** and love him that's all he needs.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]I will be very very far away from matthew soon so tell him that I love him and will thinking about him every second of the day my head is in bits and need to fix it.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]Money I don.t even have money I have a business thats flat on its face and feel like forgetting about because my head is so ****ed with stress I am losing weight each day and have that bad chest I had when I went down to 9 stone plus everything else what more can I take until my head explodes and decide live is not worth this ****!!!! that how I feel everyday.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]If only you did not stab me that night none of this nightmare would not be happening.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]Thank you for the picture of matthew I cry myself to sleep each night looking at him.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]Take care[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]Andrew )[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial]So what is this, an olive branch of sorts? I am sobbing again reading this. I feel so sad again, have I ruined his life so much? I can't bear the guilt.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Please note the Stabbing was not a stabbing per se, he rolled in drunk and fell on the keys as he stumbled in the door which cut his cheek.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Is this all BS or true?[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]How do I reply?[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]x[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Help me work it out, some of you are great at analysing such stuff x[/FONT] It's not an olive branch. He is blaming you for everything. All of it is your fault, according to him. He is really feeling sorry for himself with talk of being far, far away soon. It reads as though he is trying to say he will off himself. Has he always been so attention seeking? I see nothing wrong with you mentioning how he doesn't see his son but he certainly does. I guess him not having wheels is all your fault. Did you ever find out if he had another woman. I'm guessing not. Link to post Share on other sites
just_some_guy Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Tobydog, you'll get better when you get HONEST with yourself and others. Your story has changed over time. When you first began posting on this board a few months ago, the break up was a "drunken fight" and you "lashed out at him" and you admitted to having, "a bit of a drinking problem." Now it is, "he came rolling in late and scratched himself with his own keys" and you claim not to have a drinking problem anymore. Hmm. Also as your posts have unfolded, you've stirred the drama pot through emailing your ex and "reminded him" on several occasions how he is "letting his son down." Hmm. You quoted his email to you, where he is CLEARLY claiming that you stabbed him. Hmm. So what is it Toby? You going to keep changing it up in order to seek approval, or are you going to get real and deal with it? Are you a drunk? Did you lash out violently, perhaps even stab your husband as he claims to clearly remember? Are you stirring the drama pot with him, claiming he's having affairs, and using the kid as a pawn in your game with your ex? Your own words are changing - so clarify if you will. Even your early backstory seemed to change from post to post over the course of the days. So what is it? Honestly, if not to us on the board, yourself at least, is really going on? Link to post Share on other sites
sirweasles Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Buddy you need to back off.Did you know that harassment is still harassment even if its on a forum. you really need to get help with your over obsesiveness. Before you post again you need to figure out what the he*l crawled up you a*s and died. Or maybe you just get off on being a rude minipulative prick. Tobydog has asked you to go away in my world a respectful person would go away. stop responding to her posts and leave her alone it has gotten really rediculas. Go read my story and tell me that Im a drunk lier becouse through confusan and time your thoughts of situations change and in order to ask for help you have to ask for help with current problems not old problems. So if you want to continue to harass sombody please go to my post and harass me I would prefer that over reading other peoples posts to find you being an a*s to them. I like to read constructive not destructive and I get good constructive help already so i can handle your destructive mindset. Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 While it is an open forum, posters come there to learn from other's experiences, both good and bad...it's much more conducive to have something to offer as insight or experience rather than just an assumption of their character based on few facts or your own perceived facts based on your own circumstances. JSG - Your story is well known and yes, even you and I have had differing opinions; however, harrassing, backlashing or calling out the OP in this fashion only will hard-line the outcome. You are more than welcome to start your own thread on the topic that bothers you or welcome to PM me if you need to as you have in the past. Link to post Share on other sites
You Go Girl Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I can't make heads or tails out of this story, and I'm not spending 3 hours reading history. These accusations seem a bit strong though, so much agree with Trippi. Link to post Share on other sites
just_some_guy Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I apologize for being harsh. I am not at all sympathetic to situations where drugs or alcohol are involved, especially where there is a child in the middle of it all. It is the child in this mess that I feel for. Having been raised in unhappy circumstances, bad situations for children get me riled up. I read into this story, along with the back story, a situation where there is a child who's needs are not being put first, of a drama being selfishly played out among immature adults. The poster, from her story, seems all to ready to "remind" her ex how terrible he is with regard to the child. There's a story that seems to be shifting and a kid that's being used as a wedge from what I can read. It is ugly. For the sake of the child, both parents need to grow up, stop whatever it is they are doing and put this poor kid's needs first. Link to post Share on other sites
iheartboobs Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Hate to pile on the "abuse" here, but I'm with just_some_guy. Toby's story changes with every thread she makes (and there's a lot of them). In some she's abusive and he's innocent, in some he's abusive and she's innocent, in some she's a drunk, and in some he is. I've read her ex described as a wonderful, loving man that she destroyed with her abuse and I've read him described as a dead-beat father that abandoned his son. I pretty well try to stay out of Toby's topics since her story changes in each one (which pretty well makes it impossible to help her), but I thought I'd chime in because it doesn't seem fair that everyone is jumping down just_some_guy's throat simply because he's calling it like he sees it. It seems to me like he's just trying to help her by making her be honest with herself. The thing is, just_some_guy, she doesn't want to hear it. You give her your honest opinion and she ignores the content and focuses on you being "mean" to her (I know, she's done the same to me). As far as I can tell, Toby doesn't want help or advice, she wants everyone to tell her she's right and being mistreated so she can continue to play the victim. That's her choice. You can't talk to someone who won't listen and you can't help someone that refuses to help themselves, so just do what I do and try to stay out. Go help people that actually want your help. Good luck, Toby. I really do hope everything works out for you, your ex, and especially your son. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tobydog1 Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 Yes I know it all seems to change, my feelings and perhaps interpretations have changed over the months. My son has not been subjected to anything except love and care and protection from all this mess. He is a happy boy and I have only commented how his father has not seen him and obviously been angry over this. My feelings change from day to day. I only ever wanted to try to understand this whole mess, to get another perspective, as we all do. Ther are no drugs involved and as I have said I only have a drink of cheap lager 2x a week, which my son does not see. I don't get drunk anymore and have done very well keeping off it. The incident was a one off, of course I blame myself and then I get upset and blame him. I have been devastated and ill by all this and I thank those who have replied to posts and tried to help me understand this whole mess of a situation. I have offered advice to others too along the way and I hope to be able to continue to do this. It all must come across as some dreadful chaotic house, it isn't that way at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tobydog1 Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 Anyway now he wants to come back! Link to post Share on other sites
sirweasles Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Anyway now he wants to come back! And what are your feelings about that? Link to post Share on other sites
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