Are we doing the right thing?

[Free spirit86]

I have posted here before, and the last time I posted my boyfriend who lives in Switzerland broke up with me. After one day no contact he texts me saying he misses me and wants to talk online, and so we did. He said he was sorry for confusing me and that he broke up with me at the time because he thought it would be easier. He said that he really wants to come to visit me here in the states, so we started talking about it. fast forward to yesterday. We talked about some issue we had then he mentioned how he won't be coming anymore because he can't afford it, and he will go to Thailand instead because its cheaper and he wants to visit a warm country.I had previously said that I don't know how we can go on if he doesn't come here to see me, and yesterday he said he kind of agrees. We have been going back and forth and truly love each other. We spoke last night and we both cried, and said that isn't feel right to say goodbye. The reason we have been going back and forth on being together is because we live in two different countries. I live in the states and he lives in Switzerland. We would have to get married, which I am assuming he just doesn't want to do or else he would have said lets do it, right? Also he doesn't know about what kind of career I could have because I have a personal trainer certification but he spoke with a friend who has one from the states but can't use it in Switzerland. My question is after all we have been through, I went to see him twice, we have been in this relationship for a year and a half, are we doing the right thing by ending it even though we feel so strongly for each other? He says he is scared...what do I do? I just feel like I can't imagine just ending it and never knowing if I could have future with him? He keeps saying he wants to see me and he wants me to join him in Thailand. What do I do? Do I fight for this? and how?

[folieadeux]

I honestly wouldn't go on this trip. Your relationship doesn't seem to be on solid legs right now at all. You went to visit him twice so far, yet it seems like he's not even open to come see you. A relationship should be about give and take...if you go on this trip, you'll be giving him what he wants again and not giving him any reason to put forth more effort. I don't really understand his rationale either about not being able to afford to come visit you, yet being able to go to Thailand. Again, he's putting himself first and it seems really selfish to me. The point isn't about saving a few dollars or being in warm weather...it's about being together...and he's seemed to have sorely missed this point. It sounds like he's going on this trip regardless of you, and if you go, so be it. That's really not the way a true relationship works.