Ganderson Posted March 20, 2004 Share Posted March 20, 2004 My ex broke up with me a month ago has not called me for two weeks. I called her and asked her back last week, but she has not replied. I have no other options but to play hard to get by not keep begging her, but it seems to me that she does not fall for this foolish game. She is probably dating someone new and F***King him too. I want to forget about the whole thing but I can not at the moment. I think dumpees like me are fragile human beings. I am not gonna beg her to take me back. I tried and it did not work. It only fed her ego and hurted me at the sometime. I don't think there is any other solution besides moving on. Any suggestions? I still can not erase her from my mind. George Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted March 20, 2004 Share Posted March 20, 2004 Originally posted by Ganderson I don't think there is any other solution besides moving on. Any suggestions? No, you got it right. Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted March 20, 2004 Share Posted March 20, 2004 yeah damn right move on am not gonna beg her to take me back. I tried and it did not work. It only fed her ego and hurted me at the sometime begging never works especially when a man begs a woman!!!! anyway you have learnt for the future even though it is still hard to hold yourself from doing these futile actions if you really think she is with someone new then at least you have some closure which will help you move on and stop hurting, it won't happen overnight but it is a gradual process that varies in time this may sound ironic right now but her no contact policy with you may be in your favour, won't feel like this now but it will be in the future and if ( when ) you meet a nice other lady then you'll realise she did you a favour by not hanging on tantalising you if only i could act on my own advice and my own brain! Link to post Share on other sites
Dixiecron Posted March 20, 2004 Share Posted March 20, 2004 OK Brain and George, Dixie's gonna do you gents a favor. Every time you think of calling your EX, just summon Dixie in your imagination and I'll give y'all a virtual smack on the back of the head. Now go have yourself a beer for a job well done. You deserve it for puttin' up with all them girl's crap Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted March 20, 2004 Share Posted March 20, 2004 a slap on the head will always do me good Dixie but see i never think of calling my EX, she always calls me, always! called me tonight wanting to go out, i declined so she wants to go out on Sunday instead! whats it all about i do wonder! i'm actually drinking cider right now, do you have cider in America? think it originated in Somerset in southern england or Belgium? we irish didn't invent that one! Link to post Share on other sites
shellen Posted March 20, 2004 Share Posted March 20, 2004 it has only been a month, so it's only normal you feel this way. After nine months, I am still hung over my ex. And ya....she is absolutely doing you a favour by ignoring you. Don't follow in my footsteps. I've been in regular contact with my ex all these while, which is why I still cannot get over him. And if speculating that your ex has already started seeing other people makes you infuriated, knowing it for a fact is gonna be a million times worse. At least it was for me.....So keeping a distance is the right way to go.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ganderson Posted March 20, 2004 Author Share Posted March 20, 2004 My ex did initiate the first call after she suggested "no contact forever" between us. It happened 8 days after we broke up, which was 3 weeks ago. She called me just to find out whether I was depressed because of the break up or not. Again, she tried to boost her female ego. I thought I felt much better after two weeks of no contact with ex. But recently, I start to miss my ex again. It is strange becuase I am dating a new girl already. I soon realize that I have no feeling for the new girl. Sex is not the same either. I felt terrible. When my ex began to refuse having sex with me 5 weeks ago, I should have gotten the sign already and left her alone for while. I did not. When I tried to patch our broken relationship, it was too late. I am a loser in this relationship. Even I could get back to her, our problems will probably remain unsolved. However, I just want to spend more time with her because I can not find love from anyone else. I feel so empty inside of my heart even I have lots of sex with this new girl and her skills are much better. I guess i finally realize the difference between love and lust. George Link to post Share on other sites
Miss_Prolixity Posted March 20, 2004 Share Posted March 20, 2004 Hi Ganderson, I feel your pain. It is a hard one to go through and my heart goes out to you. To move on from the heartache of love, no contact is the best alternative in my honest opinion. Since she is the one who pursued contact with you (calling), I think you need to lay down some firm rules. Let her know that it was her decision to break-up and that you're moving on with your life and would appreciate if she would move along in hers too, without you (no contact). As far as your new "girlfriend" or the girl that you're seeing now. Does she know that you just got out of a relationship? Because right now you're in rebound mode and a lot of the things you say or do might have deep consenquences for this girl later. Especially since intimacy is involved. Right now, you know that you can't give your heart to this girl because you're in love with another. And that isn't fair to her. In the end, I'd say there's going to be more heartache bound, if you don't take the crucial steps towards healing from this previous relationship. You need to work on yourself first and become happy before you pursue new relationships. I do wish the best for you, it's a hard road but perseverance can give great character. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ganderson Posted March 21, 2004 Author Share Posted March 21, 2004 thanks. You are absolutely right! My new girlfriend has sensed my strange behaviors already. Even I am physically with her, my mind is still on my ex. She knows my focous is not on her. Link to post Share on other sites
Dixiecron Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 Ganderson, I'll co-sign with Miss P. You really should talk with the new girl and tell her about your emotional status right now. You may not want to beacause there is a definite risk she'll tell you to get lost, but this is the kind of thing that you really have to do if you want to be able to think of yourself as a person of integrity, character, etc... Brain, A slap on the head if you pick up her call as well! She can leave a message. If it is not important, like: "My entire family died in a car wreck" or "I want to get back together with you right now" then you do not really need to talk to her. It just messes you up and keeps you wondering. If you don't let her get her emotional fixes from you, then she will actually have to face the fact of what her life is like without you in it. We have cider in the States (most popular one is Woodchuck Cider from Vermont). On the other hand, the Irish have Yeats, Wilde and Joyce, so I think that beats out the Belgians and English hands down. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 If you don't let her get her emotional fixes from you, then she will actually have to face the fact of what her life is like without you in it. I totally agree with you there Dixie!!! I think when someone's heart is broken, they don't realize that no matter what they do....the relationship isn't ever going to be the same as it once was. Even if the person DID come back after being begged, eventually the remembrabce of the 'big dump' would come back to haunt you and you will resent them for it. It seems harder initially to just accept it and walk away.....but it's actually easier on you than groveling. Link to post Share on other sites
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