Thx55 Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t260310/ I've been separated for a month now. my wife says she is not in love me anymore. talking to an old guy friend of course who lives thousands of miles away. but its not ok if i would do that..? because i tell her i love her and if i would talk to someone else that would be so terrible? what does she want me to do? what can i do? I've been working on myself becoming a stronger person. my weakness is communication and i have been trying to talk to her, show her affection within her limits. we still sleep in the same bed for god sake? does she want me to accept this and move on? i don't know what i am supposed to do to show her that i want this to work and am fighting for it. im working on myself those are things she isn't going to see right away? trying to be a more positive person. what can i do to prove anything to her.. ugh Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Since you have a daughter together and are legal guardians of another minor, I'd suggest getting some legal advice before you make any decisions, like moving out in April. My read of your tone is total reactionary. You're reacting to what she's doing and saying. Balance will be proactive actions on your part to assert your perspective. This involves reclaiming your balls and expecting your actions to make her angry and accepting that anger as part of the process. Arm yourself with knowledge and get moving. I've been through it already and can see the paths clearly, in hindsight. My simplest advice would be to pick one goal, say to continue to live in the marital home with your children, and work that goal, irrespective of her reactions, feelings or sensibilities. Focus, learn, assert, accept. Be as brutal as you need to be. It's your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thx55 Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 am i nieve to think she wants me to do something to save our marriage? im trying. she knows i love her and want to be with her obviously. she says she doesn't know anything as far as the future is concerned. keeps asking me if im worried about having to meet and find another? all this to ease and comfort her conscious? why do i need to make her angry? should i give up and move on within myself, but wake up next to her every morning? push her further away in hopes of her wanting to come back and work at it "together" Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 File for divorce and ask her to leave the marital home in April. You can reach a co-parenting arrangement which is in the children's best interest. She has made a number of *choices*. With those choices comes responsibility and consequences. Your life will never be the same again. *Accept it* Link to post Share on other sites
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