carhill Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 LS women have suggested to me that it's contra-indicated to date a separated man. In your case, you've been dating a separated man who has lied to you. i want papers drafted and prepared before he moves in with me on the first... Sounds reasonable. Make sure that the papers have the court stamp on them which says "Filed on xxxxx" and shows the docket number. That way you can track the progress of the divorce independently of what your BF tells you. Dockets are fun to watch. Once I learned how, it actually helped speed up our divorce. Hope it works out Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sunkissedkate Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 He told me when we talked about it the night i found out, he said that he had thought that he had told me and that i knew, I really dont think he was keeping it a secret, but more that he thought i just knew.. but i really dont even care that they arent divorced yet, bc i know that things are getting started and that it wont take long to start and finish a divorce, they have everything seperated and agree on everything, so its more a matter of signing the papers. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 What's the 'cooling off period' in their jurisdiction, if any? Here in Cali, if I filed today and we agreed on everything and presented all the proper paperwork to the court, the divorce would not be final for six months, meaning a judgment and dissolution would not be stamped by the court until the 'cooling off' period ran. My exW and I had all our property separated and were amicable and the details still took about 12 months from the filing date. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sunkissedkate Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 We dont have one, because they have been seperated for so long, our lawyer told us that it would be about 4 to 6 months from the date we file, bc no one has objections to anything, and bc everything is already seperated and custody has been agreed upon things will go smoothly and quickly Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Cool, he can get those papers filed tomorrow and get going. It's really easy. We did most of it ourselves with the help of a local law school. The only uncomfortable (relatively) part was when the man with a gun showed up at the door to serve me, as is customary in our jurisdiction. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sunkissedkate Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 Yeah we talked to a senior lawyer in my firm about it because there are kids involved to see if we could just do it ourselves, and he told us as long as there are no major objections with either party then we can do it alone. so we are just waiting on papers now. which makes me very happy Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 At our court, you can use their online self-help to fill out online and print out the initial filing documents (FL-100 here in our jurisdiction) and just walk them down to the court clerk and file. Done in a couple hours. Also, there is a self-help desk at the court which can assist with procedure. We made great use of that. You arrive, sign in and a representative of the family law division meets with you to go through the process and assist with filings. When we got to the MSA (settlement agreement) which the law school had assisted with, we were able to file it with assistance from self-help, request judgment by mail and the clerk accepted the filings and an examiner reviewed them and the dissolution was entered the following day. Fast and painless. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sunkissedkate Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 Thats awesome, Im really hoping this goes that smoothly, there is really no reason that it wouldnt but theres always that oh Sh*t maybe it wont go as planned factor. but theres that with everything i guess Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 In our case, it (shyte happens) was my exW using a client paralegal who wasn't familiar with the filing procedures with our particular court and our filings kept getting rejected. Talk about a messy docket . Once we got to self-help and the law school (which self-help referred us to), it was painless and speedy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sunkissedkate Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 Yes, i am hoping that all of this goes smooth and quickly, so that we can just move on. but i really dont see the need to break things off with him when he has filed and things are now moving.... what do you think... is that ok... Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 A healthy partner will voluntarily and proactively include you in the information flow. For example, I would have given you the CFL# so you could track the court docket online. You need not depend on me for accurate, independent and real time information flow. I'm emphasizing this because he lied to you about his marital status and apparently did not voluntarily disclose it to you, rather you found out independently. Such actions have consequences. He will pay them Link to post Share on other sites
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