Is this some sort of abuse?

[neveragain2493]

My relationship with my mom has gone horribly wrong in the past year and a half. Please read this. I'm not sure what else to do.

 

My parents divorced when I was a baby, and my dad was not in my life from when I was 2 until I was 16; I'm currently about to turn 18. He came into my life, and with my curiosity of whom the man was, I tried to make a relationship work. As of now, it hasn't, but my mom, feeling betrayed, has used it against me since.

Ever since I was a child, when I did something wrong, she'd tell me I was 'just like my dad.' She's even gone so far as to call me worthless, 'just like him.' I tried to tell her it hurts me, but she says that it's all my fault I tried a relationship with him, so she doesn't care.

 

I used to be my mom's first priority, but ever since she started talking to a friend from high school, he's all she talks to. I've tried to accept that she has a life now, but when she hasn't come to any of my football or basketball games like she used to, and when I've walked into the house to hear her having phone sex with him in her room, it's hard to avoid.

 

I have a boyfriend of one year, and he is my everything; I usually cry to him about my mom. He doesn't ever know what to say because his parents are together, but he says I always have him for support. When I told my mom I was thinking about moving into a dorm room for college, she said that I just wanted to 'shack up' with him, and that if I moved out of the house, she would not support me anymore.

 

Mom says I don't do anything around the house. When I pick up, do laundry, and do dishes, I feel like I'm helping, but she says that's not good enough. I'm confused there because a lot of kids my age do absolutely nothing.

 

Whenever we argue, I don't even bother to fight back. I just say 'okay' to everything she says because I don't have anything else to say. When I say 'okay,' she says I'm just trying to be smart, and she threatens to hit me or throw something at me.

 

I have gotten into a physical fight with my mom before. When I was younger, I used to just try to defend myself as she hit me, but I've gotten so tired of it lately that I've started to fight her back. She's also thrown things at me. She tells me that her problem was never beating me hard enough before. I tried to tell her that hitting me doesn't make anything better, but she says that kids need beatings.

 

This is really hard for me to talk about. I'm crying about it right now... I just wish I had normal parents. So many kids take that for granted, and I swear I will never treat my children this way.