Rate The Conversation Starters (For Girls)

[U1987]

I've been getting a lot of advice insisting that I just go try and chat up obviously drunk or tipsy girls at bars and clubs. I'm really interested in biology, science in general, current events and economics/finance (Some things I'd be interested in talking to people about are, say, the theory of how mitochondria in human cells are descended from parasitic bacteria, or the history of the South African PMC Executive Outcomes and all the companies that split off from it, or my idea to create a bond market solely to fund and trade credit card debt, or welfare-reform in Europe) but I've heard that won't fly with young girls who're just interested in hooking up.

 

I've heard that you just have to "say stupid, silly things" and "talk about stupid ****," and I've noticed that actually works in real life. The thing is, free-styling "stupid" things is actually a bit of a challenge for me; I actually have to work at "dumbing myself down" for these party girls, or for anyone in general, so I'm wondering, what does everyone think about these conversation starters for girls in bars I thought of?

 

(the bold-type are words I would emphasize for dramatic effect)

 

 

Hey, have you guys seen Tron Legacy yet? I dunno if you plan to or have seen the first one, but yo, I was watching it with my kid brother the other day, and they totally ripped off the music from Inception; you know, those violin riffs and that horn that goes "BAHM-BAAAAAHM!" And the actual character Tron, the guy whom the movie is named after, is in it for like 30 seconds. How stupid is that? I was like "Refund!"

 

Hey guys, have you seen 500 Days of Summer? Be honest, is it a chick flick? Because my bros are saying I should rent it, but they've totally tricked me into seeing crappy movies before. They took me to see Lovely Bones, and I swear, 30 minutes in, I wanted to slash their tires, among other things. Seriously, that girl comes back from the dead for one day. She could have used her last day on earth to go to the police to reveal who the killer is and, you know, perhaps save another girl's life! What does she do instead? Spend it with some boy. What a selfish bi ...girl, right?"

 

Hey, do you know the song Toxic by Britney Spears? Don't ask me how I know it. Anyway, check this; you can totally sing B-52's Love Shack over Toxic, and it fits perfectly. I'm serious, Love Shack's lyrics matches to Toxics melody, in timing and transitions and everything. How awesome would it be if you saw a live band starting to play Toxic but started singing Love Shack instead?

 

Hey, quick question. I'm trying to form a new band to do covers. I'm thinking like 80s to today. It's gonna be all guys. Now think about this; if we, a bunch of guys, were to cover Tik Tok by Kesha, would it be funnier to cover it word for word, or change the lyrics to make it more, you know, "guy-appropriate?" Like instead of saying, "Pedicures on our toes toes," it would be "Hitting up all our bros bros"

 

So. Question. Has anyone ever asked you to play that game where they asked you if you could be a super hero, what super power would you have? Yeah, isn't that the dumbest game ever? Anyone's who's got half a brain would ask this; what kind of super villain would you be?

 

Cause I know who I'd be. King Bee. I'd wear a yellow and black space suit and carry around a hive full of killer bees, and I'll use pheromones to control them to make them rob banks and sting District Attourney's cute girlfriends and ****.

 

What do you think? Any other ideas?

[pookster72]

i think you should try being funny/witty instead of "dumbing yourself down" and talking about things that don't really interest you. girls love funny guys, especially in really social and laid back atmospheres.

[january2011]

My initial reaction is that you're talking too much in one go. And in my experience, only highly charismatic guys who are adept at holding an audience's attention can get away with that kind of approach. And/or you're a stand-up comedian. And, to be honest, none of what you've listed was funny to me. But, YMMV, as Carhill would say.

[ConflictedGuy27]

wow. socially awkward, much?

there's an incredible difference between being educated and being "smart".

 

you're likely educated, perhaps even intelligent, but not very smart; are you?

 

you say you have to dumb things down, or talk about stupid sh*t which tells me you can't neccessarily empathize with individuals that like what they like & don't necessarily care about the mechanics of the universe.

 

people can spot a poser a mile away -- especially women.

dont try to feed some rehearsed lines to people... socializing isn't a freaking biology project. these are people, numbskull.

 

if you want to connect with a certain group of people, at least understand why members of that group enjoy certain things. even if you don't fully agree. this is how people converse... they're simply sharing opinions about a subject they cared enough about to form their own opinion.

 

sounds like you've done this about mitochondria... tres sexy, nespa??

 

at least you see the issue.

I'll suggest this. before canning, rehearsing and deploying some half assed openers, why not just focus on expanding your horizons.

 

do stuff you wouldn't normally do; find social activities you actually enjoy doing, form opinions (that are actually your own), then go talk to people about it.

 

expand your comfort zone.

Edited January 13, 2011 by ConflictedGuy27

[pookster72]

wow. socially awkward, much?.

i thought the same thing but didn't want to be mean haha. either he's got asperger's or he just made this thread to mock the females he's encountered. usually conversations are back-and-forth, and you should be able to sense when a person isn't interested in what you're talking about and change the subject accordingly and/or find someone else to talk to.

[U1987]

wow. socially awkward, much?

there's an incredible difference between being educated and being "smart".

 

you're likely educated, perhaps even intelligent, but not very smart; are you?

 

you say you have to dumb things down, or talk about stupid sh*t which tells me you can't neccessarily empathize with individuals that like what they like & don't necessarily care about the mechanics of the universe.

 

people can spot a poser a mile away -- especially women.

dont try to feed some rehearsed lines to people... socializing isn't a freaking biology project. these are people, numbskull.

 

if you want to connect with a certain group of people, at least understand why members of that group enjoy certain things. even if you don't fully agree. this is how people converse... they're simply sharing opinions about a subject they cared enough about to form their own opinion.

 

sounds like you've done this about mitochondria... tres sexy, nespa??

 

at least you see the issue.

I'll suggest this. before canning, rehearsing and deploying some half assed openers, why not just focus on expanding your horizons.

 

do stuff you wouldn't normally do; find social activities you actually enjoy doing, form opinions (that are actually your own), then go talk to people about it.

 

expand your comfort zone.

 

Like I said, feel free to provide some alternatives or examples; lead, follow or get out of the way.

[Star Gazer]

If I'm understanding the question, you're asking about these scenarios being conversation starters in person...right?

 

I actually don't think they're too terrible, but they're a little geeky. I do like the one about starting a guy band, though (assuming it's a joke?). It made me laugh! (In a good way...)

[ConflictedGuy27]

Like I said, feel free to provide some alternatives or examples; lead, follow or get out of the way.

 

I'm challeging how effective your approach would be in RL, OP...

 

IMO, encouraging you with examples or alternative lines only serves to feed a fire I believe is socially destructive.

 

doing what you propose would very likely fail. that clear enough for you?

re-read what I said about people being able to spot posers.

 

my advice is merely, don't be a poser. I mean, why fish for bits & pieces of a persona you're attempting to create, if it isn't sincere. people aren't stupid; they'll see right through that.

 

think about it. would you want to befriend such a person??

I wouldn't.

 

so then, what do you do? my advice is, again, to expand yourself sincerely, to the point where you can carry on conversation (sincerely) without bring perceived as Mr.Fu*king Akward.

[Jannah]

I hear a song playing in my head that goes "it's amateur night at the Apollo".....

[U1987]

If I'm understanding the question, you're asking about these scenarios being conversation starters in person...right?

 

I actually don't think they're too terrible, but they're a little geeky. I do like the one about starting a guy band, though (assuming it's a joke?). It made me laugh! (In a good way...)

 

Thank you.

 

Here's another one I thought of.

 

Excuse me, got a minute? This is probably a dumb question, but as I was driving here, the DJ quickly mentioned something about Kim Kardashian, and it was then I realized that I have no idea who Kim Kardashian is. Like, I know she's talked about a lot and has a show on VH1, but before all that, what was she? Was she an actress or a singer or what?

 

(wait for her to explain)

 

So basically, she's just another skanky celebutant who's famous for being famous. Gotcha. God bless America.

[Jannah]

Thank you.

 

Here's another one I thought of.

 

That's because Kim is someone you couldn't score in a million years.

[U1987]

I'm challeging how effective your approach would be in RL, OP...

 

IMO, encouraging you with examples or alternative lines only serves to feed a fire I believe is socially destructive.

 

doing what you propose would very likely fail. that clear enough for you?

re-read what I said about people being able to spot posers.

 

my advice is merely, don't be a poser. I mean, why fish for bits & pieces of a persona you're attempting to create, if it isn't sincere. people aren't stupid; they'll see right through that.

 

think about it. would you want to befriend such a person??

I wouldn't.

 

Then beef at Cee, because this is her suggestion.

 

so then, what do you do? my advice is, again, to expand yourself sincerely, to the point where you can carry on conversation (sincerely) without bring perceived as Mr.Fu*king Akward.

 

So how about this then; trying to chat up girls in a college bar.

 

Excuse me, quick question. Do you study finance or economics at all? (if she says yes) So listen, I got this crazy idea, but I think it could make a lot of money, I just want to know if you think it's financially feasible.

 

Check this; securitizing and creating a bond market solely for credit card debt.

[Feelin Frisky]

Just go up to 'em and say "nice night for clam dip, don't you think?" That'll get 'er started.

[ConflictedGuy27]

So how about this then; trying to chat up girls in a college bar.

 

might I suggest observing your surroundings for openers.

 

i.e. take a look around and make mental

notes. just look around.

 

think decor (maybe crazy looking masks on the wall)

what are they drinking? is it all bright and chicky or a dark looking IPA

what's she wearing

where's her focus

what's she doing

is she doing something out of the ordinary - using a bendy straw, I dunno.

 

I'd shift from 'asking her if she basically fits your opener' (hey, are you a finance major??) to 'mentioning (when situationally appropriate) what you noticed. (you're doing long division on your bar tab... you're a finance major, aren't you??).

 

e.g. chick's focus on some strange bar decor - the mask: "funny... I thought I was the only one tripped out by that mask up there. let me guess, you're either an art history major, or you're planning to steal that piece up there; which is closer?"

 

I'd use the situation instead of something prepackaged, OP.

Edited January 13, 2011 by ConflictedGuy27

[Star Gazer]

I'd use the situation instead of something prepackaged, OP.

 

Absolutely. The prepackaged lines will, without a doubt, come across that way. Gotta be natural.

[U1987]

Saying to comment on all those things is a lot easier said than done. Tell me, how is it supposed to go down?

 

think decor (maybe crazy looking masks on the wall

 

"So, nice furniture/tiles..." Then what?

 

what are they drinking? is it all bright and chicky or a dark looking IPA

 

"So what are you drinking... Stella? ... Cool." Like I said, then what?

 

what's she wearing

 

Have you been to a college bar? Most girls dress the same; tight jeans but baggy hoodies, either from Victoria Secret Pink or the school.

 

where's her focus

 

"Watching the game?... Who's winning?"

 

what's she doing

 

"So...playing pool/chatting with friends?... nice." (crickets)

 

is she doing something out of the ordinary - using a bendy straw, I dunno.

 

And if she's not doing anything out of the ordinary?

[U1987]

I thought of 2 more.

 

Hey. So listen, I gotta be totally honest. I'm feeling a bit down; one of my best friends just moved away to Cali, I need a bit of cheering up. What's the corniest thing a guy has said to you all night?

 

Anyone offer to buy you a drink yet?

 

Well, listen, I don't normally do this, but you look pretty cool. Tell you what; if you play your cards right, I might... ... ... let you buy me a drink.

[Confusedalways]

They don't sound too terrible, only slightly contrived.

 

I'd suggest combining the surroundings with your stories. For example, if a band is playing THEN use the band comment. Wait for her to respond.

 

Ie: This band is good/bad/etc... you know, I was thinking of starting a band *wait for her response* then launch into your stories.

 

However- it would seem vastly more random to start talking about 500 days of summer than a band, you know?

 

Girls love to talk, so give them a chance.

 

(The super villain one was terrible FWIW)

[ConflictedGuy27]

didnt say to comment; I suggested making mental notes.

 

these are just casual observations to make when looking for a way to engage a woman you don't know.

 

sometimes, "hey, what's up?" is enough; but usually it's not -- it's a yawner...

therefore looking around for something mire relevant that you can somehow make fun, is useful.

 

again, I'm not suggesting you comment on all these things.

[Star Gazer]

Then what?

 

Ummm... You have a conversation? There are a million different permutations of how the conversation should go. We can't tell you what's next, and what's next, and what's next.

 

You've been told this repeatedly, guy. We can't be your Cyrano. Ya gotta learn how to talk to a girl, to converse and share an exchange with her.

[Confusedalways]

BTW you were quick to shut down conflicted guy's suggestions-- but yours could easily end the same way.

 

You ask a girl what super power she wants, she'll probably just be like "haha. oh, um, idk, haha." Done. Then what?

 

You're idealizing your scenarios too much. Comment on who is around, anything at all. It isn't that hard.

[flying]

I've heard that you just have to "say stupid, silly things" and "talk about stupid ****," and I've noticed that actually works in real life. The thing is, free-styling "stupid" things is actually a bit of a challenge for me; I actually have to work at "dumbing myself down" for these party girls, or for anyone in general, so I'm wondering, what does everyone think about these conversation starters for girls in bars I thought of?

 

My overriding thought is: Don't monologue at her. Start a conversation. Think on your feet.

 

Your OWN feet. Feel free to solicit advice on opening lines, but you're just going to have to wing it from there. Have a CONVERSATION.

 

If that's too much effort, then might I recommend: GTL, bro. Seems to work for the Jersey Shore dudes. Sort of.

[U1987]

My overriding thought is: Don't monologue at her. Start a conversation. Think on your feet.

 

Your OWN feet. Feel free to solicit advice on opening lines, but you're just going to have to wing it from there. Have a CONVERSATION.

 

If that's too much effort, then might I recommend: GTL, bro. Seems to work for the Jersey Shore dudes. Sort of.

 

What' GTL?

[ConflictedGuy27]

didnt say to comment; I suggested making mental notes.

 

these are just casual observations to make when looking for a way to engage a woman you don't know.

 

sometimes, "hey, what's up?" is enough; but usually it's not -- it's a yawner...

therefore looking around for something mire relevant that you can somehow make fun, is useful.

 

again, I'm not suggesting you comment on all these things.

 

one other thing. there may not be a reason to talk to somebody that night.

it's fine to wait, or just pass all together.

 

I remember this situation where I met a girl at an english pub near my house I go to. everytime i saw her, she'd play darts - cricket. I play too, but never really made an attempt to say anything. (btw, this is what I mean by an 'out of the ordinary something').

 

anyway, I didn't know her name, at the time, but saw her a few weeks later buying a round.

 

I remember saying something to the effect of: "you know, I think I've seen you around before. you play cricket, don't you?"

 

she said yeah.

 

I told her I play too, so I asked her name, shook her hand, introduced myself and said we should play sometime. then I said if she sees me here playing, she should come say hi.

 

she said tha'd be cool.

& that was it.

 

haven't seen her in over a month, but if I do, it'll be an in, you know?

 

it's just casual, OP. approach the girls like you want to be friends. like making a guy buddy, if that helps you.

[mo mo]

I've got the best pickup line ever

 

"your parents must be retarded because you grew up to be so special"

 

 

 

hiyooooooooooooooooooo