jtowers87 Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Hello Everyone, Let me give you a brief history of my Ex Girlfriend. We dated 4 years and had great times, as well as bad ones. We we're crazy about each other. We both had made mistakes in our relationship. The biggest was we cheated on each other (once) the only big difference was she cheated on me with my ex-best friend when she was pregnant (and yes it was my child in there) But she later lost the baby on the first trimester due to depression. I stayed with her because I truly loved her. A year later she started college an hour away from home. Well to cut things down to size. She met another guy. They dated for a year in a half and recently got married 2 months ago. But through out the time we have been separated she would send me emails asking me back. I didn't pay any attention until she showed up at my house a few weeks before she was getting married, she had explained to me that she called off the wedding because she did not love him. I sent her off with a no. A month later she got married. Well just last week i saw her again and we started talking. She is now in the process of getting an anullment (like a divorce). And that's we're I'm at now. Haven't heard from her in almost a week. What should I do? and Is it right for us to try again? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I would not touch her with a barge pole. She sounds a bit crazy and doesn't treat people well. She lied to her husband to get him to marry her so how do you know she's not lying to you too? Link to post Share on other sites
BlindRage Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I agree with PegNosePete 100%. If she lies to her husband she'll lie to you. So basically she's cheating on the guy because while they are together and married she is seeking you. She will do that to you also, people rarely change. Link to post Share on other sites
melenkurion Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 What should I do? Run. And fast. She sounds quite the catch. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 She is completely unstable and has no idea what she wants. NC Link to post Share on other sites
Author jtowers87 Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 I'm not on her side on this but It seems to me as if she was pressured to get married by that guy and her family. She has explained very little cause I don't ask. But that he is not the innocent one in all of it. I've read stories about couples that break up and get back together several years later and the relationship is stronger then ever... Is that a bad thing to believe in? Link to post Share on other sites
cyabye Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 what should i do? run run run Link to post Share on other sites
sirweasles Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I would say follow your heart if it leads you to her tread carefully and dont rush anything. everybody makes mistakes maybe she married him becouse she felt she had to maybe not. of you chose to try with her then you need to keep your eyes and ears open dont spy just pay attention. If you feel that you cant trust her explain that to her as you reason why you will not beable to work it out with her Honesty sencerity and alertness is what you need dont make her feel like she has to prove anything be true and open be honest and talk to her alot if you become her support you will learn more about who she really is. However dont make a move until she is fully a single woman. make sure you see the signed paperwork. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I'm not on her side on this but It seems to me as if she was pressured to get married by that guy and her family. Which confirms what we have said that she is crazy. Anyone who marries someone they do not love due to pressure is not someone who has opinions of their own. She lied in front of witnesses and the law (and God if you're that way inclined) when she said her wedding vows. Run run run. I've read stories about couples that break up and get back together several years later and the relationship is stronger then ever... Is that a bad thing to believe in? I've read stories about double decker buses on the moon, and alien autopsies being carried out on Nevada. Some stories you read are true and others are not. But either way, none of these stories are your story. You have to write your own. And you should call yours "Forrest Gump II: Run Run Run"!!! If you get with her it will be a horror story with a very bad ending. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jtowers87 Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 sirweasles - She did explain to me that after I said no to her she felt as if she had nothing left so she settled down with him thinking that's what life had to offer her. But that she isn't going to happy until she's with me. I feel the same, just hard for me to explain it to her. I haven't heard from her since last Friday when I told her we must break all contact until she's single again. I am regret in it now since i haven't heard from her. Would it be crazy for me to send her an email to check if she's okay? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jtowers87 Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 PegNosePete - Haha I like your humor. But I also like these words you left. "You have to write your own story" and with that decision I realized you only get 1 chance in life to do what you want and get what you want. I'm not sure of lots of things in life. But the only thing I'm sure of... is how I feel about that girl. Now I could choose to take the easy way out and Run Run Run! like you said... and probably regret the choice I made later in my life, OR I can try one last time to get the girl of my dreams back! It all comes down to this quotable phrase... "Don't judge those who try and fail, but those who fail to try" With that I leave it as I'm going to make every effort count. Thanks for your replies. I couldn't have done it with out you guys. Link to post Share on other sites
sirweasles Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 you need to for the other guys sake wait until she has taken care of her end if she is being honest and sincere she will be back in touch with you. dont be that guy who steals anothers happiness Link to post Share on other sites
Denillad Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Well, im new to this forum and im am struggling to get past my ex. I cant really comment on the reason why u seperated to begin with but it would have to be address cause cheating i think is unacceptable but i have been close to marraige even though in my heart I still felt love for my ex. I was in that relationship with hopes to get past my ex n build a new life buy i couldnt get him out of my head. So i know when u "realize" u love someone it doesnt just dissappear even when u want it to. Think about and let her behonest to herself n him in that relationship. There is no hurry in love. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jtowers87 Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 sirweasles - I won't be like him to steal someone else's happiness away. I guess you can say it's "Karma" on his part. I won't go as far as say he took her from me but was a big influence knowing she loved me and was heart broken and he took advantage like any other guy would. But I'm smarter then that. Cause I love her truly, I will wait for her for as long as it takes... P.S. I never had a problem with him, until he had the nerves to myspace me a while back and tell me to never speak to her again or else... haha That's when I realized he was a total douche bag... But I'm much better than him... In many ways and form. I don't have nothing against him, in fact I feel sorry for him. To go as low as still marry her even when she told him she did not want to marry him cause she still loved me and had him drop her off at my house several times... Talk about an all time low! He's finally getting what he deserve's and I hardly ever say that. But hey! This story has nothing to do with him! Denillad - First of all Welcome to Loveshack! I just joined 2 days ago and I have to say people here are nice and they have great advice for any questions you have... If your wondering how it ended... It's pretty much like this. She got depressed after losing our child and wen't off to College far from home, That's when she met that guy and left me. Oh BTW it was a Christian college (I have nothing against any religions) but there biggest thing was "it is meant to be!" And as a new believer she fallowed the crowd (peer pressure is what she explained to me) He was one of them pursuing her to leave me. As you can see the results of all this, he only cared about taking her from me. P.S. The cheating is unacceptable but we we're just teenagers at the time. I know now that cheating is a horrible thing to do. As for you, I can't say much seeing as I'm not in your possession. I was the break-up that had moved on and she was the break-e that couldn't let it go and that's how I ended up in this mess 2 years later. haha But one thing I HAD learned of all this, is... "The HEART want's what the HEART want's!" Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts