Mrlonelyone Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Just a little encouragement for folks who come to this board. http://www.lincolnminiature.com/abe-lincoln-mary-todd-and-joshua-speed-timeline.html Notice the following: He went NC for a good long while and.... either made a really good male friend...or went gay. It was still possible...in 1840's... to hear about an ex through the grape vine. Timeline of Abe, Mary Todd and Joshua Speed Winter, 1840 Lincoln was unhappy with his engagement to Mary Todd Jan. 1, 1841 “Fatal First of January” – Lincoln and Mary Todd break off their engagement – wedding called off. Lincoln was in a state of depression over his breakup. Mary Todd was very socially and politically “connected”, and this breakup did not put Lincoln in a good position. Recently discovered artifacts show Lincoln to be a financially secure lawyer at this time. Jan, 1841 Speed sells his business in Springfield and moves back to his family in Louisville. KY. June 17, 1841 Mary Todd writes to her friend Mercy Levering that Lincoln "deems me unworthy of notice, as I have not met him in the gay world for months. . . . I would that the case was different, that he would once more resume his station in Society." August, 1841 Lincoln visits Speed at his Farmington home in Louisville. Following from: Abraham Lincoln, 1809-1858. Albert J. Beveridge Publication Year: 1928. “Finally about the first week in August, 1841, Lincoln went to Louisville to visit Speed and get what relief the intimate companionship of that trusted friend could afford' Lincoln came to see me and stayed some time at my mother's in the summer and fall of 1841, says Speed, and there he continued throughout the remainder of the summer and early autumn. Psychobiographer Edward J. Kempf wrote: "Speed knew that Lincoln had been more deeply interested in Mary Todd than any other living woman.. He still believed, even so, that Mary and Lincoln were well suited to each other and wanted to see them married. Taking upon himself the delicate task of acting as love's emissary Speed tactfully began to let each know that the other still regretted, under the crust of egotistical pride, having offended the other's self-respect.” Summer, 1841 Joshua Speed had been dating Fanny Henning, whom he wanted his best friend Lincoln to meet. Beveridge, Abraham Lincoln, 320. “Just at that time Speed was paying court to Miss Fanny Henning, a lovely young woman who was soon to become his wife, and this marriage was to have decisive influence on Lincoln. Speed had often written to Lincoln of his infatuation, but had not yet proposed. Fanny was an orphan and lived with her uncle, John Williamson, who had given the young merchant no opportunity to make love to his niece; for the old gentleman, a violent Whig, always insisted on talking politics when her suitor called and would never leave them alone. Speed was anxious that his friend should see the young woman and took Lincoln with him on one of his visits. With a meaning look at Speed, Lincoln, pretending to be a Democrat, engaged Fanny’s uncle so heavily in a political argument that the lovers got their chance to be alone, and thus Speed proposed and was accepted,” From: Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln Lincoln to Mary Speed Sept. 1841 Sometimes a merry company took him with them on journeys to other towns and places of interest and on such excursions Lincoln had gay hours. Once he went with Speed to Lexington where Miss Henning had gone on a visit. To Mary Speed Miss Mary Speed, Bloomington, Illinois, Louisville, Ky. Sept. 27th. 1841 Do you remember my going to the city ]while I was in Kentucky, to have a tooth extracted, and making a failure of it? Well, that same old tooth got to paining me so much, that about a week since I had it torn out, bringing with it a bit of the jawbone. When we left, Miss Fanny Henning was owing you a visit, as I understood. Has she paid it yet? If she has, are you not convinced that she is one of the sweetest girls in the world? There is but one thing about her, so far as I could perceive, that I would have otherwise than as it is. That is something of a tendency to melancholy. This, let it be observed, is a misfortune not a fault. Give her an assurance of my very highest regard, when you see her. Winter, 1841 As their wedding approached, Joshua began to doubt his love for Fanny, and Lincoln, who thought the world of Fanny, sent his friend letters of reassuring counsel and comfort. Speed was still in town and very blue over his approaching wedding. Lincoln's deplorable experience had had its natural effect on Speed; he had 'caught' Lincoln's neurosis and hypochondria. To Joshua F. Speed After you and I had once been at her residence, did you not go and take me all the way to Lexington and back, for no other purpose but to get to see her again, on our return, [in that] seeming to take a trip for that express object? …..I shall be so anxious about you, that I want you to write me every mail. Your friend LINCOLN Feb. 15 1842 Speed and Fanny Henning marry March 27, 1842 Lincoln writes Speed that Mary Todd went with party to Jacksonville March 21, 1842, and "on her return, spoke, so that I heard of it, of having enjoyed the trip exceedingly. God be praised for that." May 2, 1842 In a letter to Joshua F. Speed dated July 4, 1842, Lincoln writes that he was on the circuit "five or six weeks" in the spring. July 4, 1842 Lincoln tells Speed of his lost pride in his character and how he must regain it (as it relates to MT) Lincoln thanks Speed for his advice about his love affair with Mary Todd, which has been troubling him since January 1, 1841. "I believe," he writes, "God made me one of the instruments of bringing your Fanny and you together, which union, I have no doubt He had fore-ordained. Whatever he designs, he will do for me yet. Speed tells Lincoln he was instrumental in bringing together Fanny and him, Lincoln said that was God’s will and fate. Summer, 1842 Lincoln remained upset at his breakup with MT, and in the summer of 1842 began to secretely meet with her at the house of Simeon Francis. Simeon’s wife was the match-maker of Springfield, and undertook the repair of Lincoln’s and Mary Todd’s engagement. Tranquility and high spirits had again left Lincoln; once more he found himself in the throes of doubt and misgiving. In his letters to Speed were reflected feelings caused by renewed relations with Mary Todd which the wildest imagination could not have forecast. Sept. 9, 1842 Lincoln sentimentally sends a tabulation of votes in Sangamon County to Mary Todd, laced together with pink ribbon tied in a bow at the top (Beveridge, I, 343-44). November 4, 1842 Lincoln and Mary Todd marry. It seems from this that second chances are possible given. 1.) Their has been a healthy period of NC. 2.) Each party has some inkling about the other at least a mailing address. 3.) Both parties are willing to work on a second chance. Last but not least they are not impossible, crazy, or doomed to fail. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 And then he gave her Syphilis. Ain't love grand? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 She also turned out to be crazy.... but nobody's perfect. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 She also turned out to be crazy.... but nobody's perfect. Late stage syphilis affects the brain and makes people go crazy. They also used mercury to treat it back then. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 Late stage syphilis affects the brain and makes people go crazy. They also used mercury to treat it back then. Mercury! Good God how stupid were we. Hey, but, then why didn't old honest Abe go crazy? If anything his disease would have been more advanced. Right? Link to post Share on other sites
Ajax Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 As long as we're discussing Presidential second chances, Theodore Roosevelt had a second chance with his second wife, Edith. http://www.theodoreroosevelt.org/life/familytree/edith.htm They were childhood friends and then were together for a while when he was in college. It's speculated that she rejected a marriage proposal from him and then they didn't talk again for years. Teddy eventually got married to another woman, Alice, who died after giving birth to their daughter. The same day Roosevelt's mother also died in the same house. A quote I love from Edmund Morris' biography The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt says of his pain, Like a lion obsessively trying to drag a spear from its flank, Roosevelt set about dislodging Alice Lee from his soul. Nostalgia, a weakness to which he was abnormally vulnerable, could be indulged if it was pleasant, but if painful it must be suppressed, 'until the memory is too dead to throb. Afterward he left his daughter with his sister and became a cattle rancher in the Dakota territories. When he came back about two years later he and Edith got back in touch and ultimately got married. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 (edited) Here's another interesting one don't know if it's strictly a second chance. Richard M. Nixon and Pat Nixon http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Nixon#Marriage In January 1938, Nixon was cast in the Whittier Community Players production of The Dark Tower. There he played opposite a high school teacher named Thelma "Pat" Ryan.[15][25] Nixon pursued her, but initially Ryan was not interested in a relationship. He began making unannounced visits to her home and would take her on Sunday drives to the Quaker Sunday School where he was a teacher.[26] After several proposals, Ryan eventually agreed to marry Nixon and they wed at a small ceremony on June 21, 1940.[15] After a honeymoon in Mexico, the Nixons moved to Long Beach, then settled into an apartment in East Whittier a few months later.[27] In January 1942, they moved to Washington, D.C., where Richard Nixon took a job at the Office of Price Administration.[15] Now a days someone who showed up unannouced at someone's home and made several marriage proposals would be thought of as a KooK and a creep by many. (Personally I just think his persistence paid off...but then I have been called a Kook and Creep too.) I don't know why I thought of Nixon. I just thought he had to have been a hard man to love. Edited January 13, 2011 by Mrlonelyone Link to post Share on other sites
Duckduckgoose Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Wow! So if I reconcile I can be the president? That is so awesome! Really, being able to reconcile and the ties in with being Presidents mean that both require immense strength of character. These second chance stories and history lessons at the same time are an awesome find though Thanks so much for posting them! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 One of the greatest presidential Romances I know of is that of John and Abbigail Adams. I have mentioned them before in other threads. I mention them here because their story has everything. It has a intercontinental LDR at a time when sending a letter meant months and months on a ship. It has a second chance, due to their separation for many many years, almost half their marriage, while he was in France. It has them living to grow old and toothless and happy....then for Abbigail to die leaving John alone. Their are so many lessons about real life and real love that we could all learn from John and Abbigail Adams. What they had was the real thing, the kind of thing many of us despair as to the existence of and are too unwise to recognize when we see it. No IM's, no Emails, no phone, No Facebook, not even a Gdammed telegraph...and they manged to hold it together! Yet with all our communication technology what have we really gotten? It seems all we have now is newer and better ways to keep people out and distant. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 It seems all we have now is newer and better ways to keep people out and distant. Says the guy posting his breakup and dating woes on the internet, communicating and getting advice to make his next relationship better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 Says the guy posting his breakup and dating woes on the internet, communicating and getting advice to make his next relationship better. True. However consider the primitive state of a message board used for trying to heal people and repair relationships.... VS The advanced technology we have and are working on for how to keep people out i.e. Facebook. Which is supposed to be about reconnecting...but it seems that more and more of the "features" are for how to filter various "friends". Had such techology existed in the days of the Revolution.... Half of the Continental Congress would have blocked the other half. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Had such techology existed in the days of the Revolution.... Half of the Continental Congress would have blocked the other half. ... Link to post Share on other sites
Ajax Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Off topic but might amuse you: http://www.geekologie.com/2010/08/if_historical_events_had_faceb.php Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 lol Bored writing a thesis on a Saturday fun. Link to post Share on other sites
andrew-bkk Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Off topic but might amuse you: http://www.geekologie.com/2010/08/if_historical_events_had_faceb.php Excellent. Facebook 1865.......... Abe Lincoln. Going to the theater tonight. John Wilkes Booth like this. Link to post Share on other sites
Graceful Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Off topic but might amuse you: http://www.geekologie.com/2010/08/if_historical_events_had_faceb.php Ajax, Howling over this!! Nice! Thanks for sharing. I have to pass this one along to a few "friends" ... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 17, 2011 Author Share Posted January 17, 2011 Bumped for encouragement of others. Link to post Share on other sites
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