elysium23 Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 (edited) I teach English in Russia and my contract is for 9 months. I have been teaching for 4 months so far and now I'm on vacation. My fiance lives in Czech Republic and I've been spending my winter vacation with him. I have to go back in 2 days. A big part of me wants to stay here in Czech because we've been long distance for 2 years and we hadn't seen each other in 7 months before this. I also am looking forward to getting married and having children soon. But the other part of me wants to go back to teaching. I feel like I have an obligation to my students who are expecting me to return, and to the friends I made while I was there. Going to Russia with him is not an option because his job is important. I feel like i'm torn between the life I have built and the person I love. What should I do? What is honestly more important? Would it be wrong to give up everything now and just stay here? Edited January 13, 2011 by elysium23 Link to post Share on other sites
Star_Bright Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Hi. I'm not sure what kind of contract terms you have but first and foremost I would say you should honor the contract you entered into. if there are terms for you to be able to get out early, then please disregard my first piece of advice. I think that your students will get another teacher and your friends-- well, no offense to them but your obligations to them should not be prioritized over the man you love and want to marry and have children with. (How does he feel about this? Has he asked you to marry him? To me this would be a factor before I would give up my whole life to be with someone.) So it really comes down to how important this teaching job in Russia is to you. Are there similar opportunities you think you might like in the CR? I say don't give it all up if it makes you happy and there are no similar options there, unless maybe you are totally sure this is the man you are marrying and having a family with. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author elysium23 Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 Thanks for the advice. It was really helpful. Now I am leaning toward staying. We are engaged, and he is serious about getting married, and he also wants to have kids. Our relationship is very good. I do think I feel too much of an obligation to people who I am not extremely close to, like my boss and my co-workers, and perhaps my students. I'm starting to think you're right that he should always come above them. Maybe my priorities were wrong. It's very difficult to give up on the life I built just to stay here. But I guess I should think of the bigger picture and how I can also build a life here eventually. I'm still not 100%, and I have very little time to decide... Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I too think you should finish up your term and focus on getting things together with the man you're about to spend the rest of your life with. You can always keep in touch with the friends you've made and your students will have other teachers. Your fiance should be priority, especially over people you've only known for less than a year. I'm sort of wondering why there even is a question about this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author elysium23 Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 I'm sort of wondering why there even is a question about this. The question isn't whether I'm going to be with him or not. It's a question of whether i'm going to wait 4 more months, because I have obligations and a contract I signed. I can get out of the contract, but it's still a commitment that I made, and just ditching last minute does not feel exactly right. Additionally, there are less job opportunities in Czech. I have looked into them. And I don't want to just be a housewife. Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 The question isn't whether I'm going to be with him or not. It's a question of whether i'm going to wait 4 more months, because I have obligations and a contract I signed. I can get out of the contract, but it's still a commitment that I made, and just ditching last minute does not feel exactly right. Additionally, there are less job opportunities in Czech. I have looked into them. And I don't want to just be a housewife. Aaah okay, thanks for clarifying. I would definitely finish out your term like I said. If it's only a matter of four months, then maybe you can use this time to look for work too. That way, you get the best of both worlds...you get to finish out your obligations without the guilt of leaving and also prepare for being with your fiance permanently. Work is definitely important too...I personally wouldn't move anywhere without secure employment and is one of the only things keeping me where I live right now too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author elysium23 Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 Aaah okay, thanks for clarifying. I would definitely finish out your term like I said. If it's only a matter of four months, then maybe you can use this time to look for work too. That way, you get the best of both worlds...you get to finish out your obligations without the guilt of leaving and also prepare for being with your fiance permanently. Work is definitely important too...I personally wouldn't move anywhere without secure employment and is one of the only things keeping me where I live right now too. Yeah, I understand what you're saying, and I have mostly felt the same way throughout my relationship. But it's so hard to leave tomorrow after going through this for 2 years already...And I'm really close to making the "irresponsible" choice, staying here and not returning to my job. Is that terrible? Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Yeah, I understand what you're saying, and I have mostly felt the same way throughout my relationship. But it's so hard to leave tomorrow after going through this for 2 years already...And I'm really close to making the "irresponsible" choice, staying here and not returning to my job. Is that terrible? It's not terrible at all; I feel the same way every time me and my boyfriend have to part too. I just know that we both have to sacrifice by leaving each other every time we do now to ensure the success of our future when we are together permanently. Link to post Share on other sites
Author elysium23 Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 Well, I chose to stay with him and not go back to Russia. I was tired of having a long distance relationship for 2 years. I'm just going to start writing while here, and everything should be fine Thanks for the advice. Link to post Share on other sites
creighton0123 Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 I would say that you're almost there. You have a nine month contract and have already finished four months of it. You have five months left. If you can 100% guarantee to your man that the long distance relationship will absolutely become just the relationship in five months, you should finish. Five more months really isn't all that much longer. Wouldn't you rather make it to the finish line, experience a job well done, and officially end the long distance without any regrets? Also, the added four to five months more on your contract will give you a decent enough time window to think about what you're going to do for work once you return to Czech. Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Best of luck Link to post Share on other sites
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