Author Yellowbug Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 It really sounds like you care for your ex a lot more than you are letting on here. Maybe you care for him a lot more than you are even letting on to yourself? A person doesn't worry about the fact you may run in to each other from time to time if they don't have deep, strong feelings for their ex still. Let us know if he replies. I do having feelings for my ex . . . Heck, I'm human and single, but I would NEVER consider wanting to be his girl again, nor would I expect him to want me. It's easier to not think of the ex when you have someone to take away those feelings . . . Let's just say the gym became my BF after my break and the anger fed into my physical fitness for a long time, but the anger is gone and I'm just me again. I have my sensitive side back, and I think I preferred the angry side LOL Now, in regards to replies . . . LOL . . . No reply to my email and I won't expect one, BUT I had dinner with girlfriends last night and a friend said, "Did you have a run-in with your ex?" I said to her, "Well, I had to visit his store, and it was the first time seeing him. How did you know?" She proceeded to tell me that a guy friend of ours is on my ex's Facebook page and he said that my ex posted the following on his page: "Just my luck! My Ex-Girlfriend is the ****** for my store!" Who puts this kind of stuff on Facebook? I laugh at people who put their personal stuff on FB. If he turned into a drama-queen, then oh my lord. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Yellowbug Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 She left me due to loss of attraction, because I had turned into a needy desperate clingy wussbag. And she most likely met this other man while getting ready to dump me and since he is probably totally opposite of how I was behaving it just sealed the deal. I had treated her very well throughout till the end when I became desperate. We had some large fights but nothing physical. Everyone tells me I'm better off without her but ya know, they didn't know her like I did. Regardless, I hate her guts now. She can rot in hell for eternity. I know I'll find love again someday because I'm a good man, but it doesn't stop the fact that it will take me quite some time to get over her. Come to think of it, every person I have ever dumped either hated me for good after that or wouldn't give me another chance no matter what. They probably felt I burned my bridges. So, no disrespect to your feelings and I'm not taking sides, but you have addressed the issue which was, "She left me due to loss of attraction, because I had turned into a needy desperate clingy wussbag. And she most likely met this other man while getting ready to dump me and since he is probably totally opposite of how I was behaving it just sealed the deal." It sounds like you might be more angry at yourself . . . ? Look at this and try not to use her as the target. If you became a little bit clingy, then she probably was NOT the right fit for you. It isn't good when we change for another person. It's short-lived, fake, and will only drive you mad in the end. My advice would be to take responsibility for what happend and deal with the pain and anger without namecalling or bad wishes. I think just the opposite when I hear men or women trashing their ex. I think, "Wow, their break must have sucked, but don't talk about it like you are a victim. Don't talk about it. Show tact, and deal with the emotions." You don't have to hate the ex to get over it. It might help, but at some point you have to forgive, but not forget. Link to post Share on other sites
nature Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 How old is this guy to write something like that on his FB? He sounds highly immature. He sounds like he has been badmouthing you. If I were you, and an ex of mine announced something like that to the world, I would hold my head high, ignore him and treat him like he does not exist, and look happier than happy whenever he sees me. How pathetic. Leave it be and do not speak to him or try to make contact with him again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Yellowbug Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 How old is this guy to write something like that on his FB? He sounds highly immature. He sounds like he has been badmouthing you. If I were you, and an ex of mine announced something like that to the world, I would hold my head high, ignore him and treat him like he does not exist, and look happier than happy whenever he sees me. How pathetic. Leave it be and do not speak to him or try to make contact with him again. Nature - I couldn't agree more, but I'm happy I sent the email because it was unemotional, sincere, and professional . . . I feel like the bigger person, and have always been the bigger person when it came to our relationship . . . He is in his upper 20s and I am a couple years older . . . I just laughed when my girlfriend told me about the FB post . . . I laugh at people like that . . . He never used to be like that, and he was almost somewhat sneaky/private about his life . . . Interesting, hugh . . . Oh well, this case is closed and I feel better about the accidental run-in . . . Won't think twice if I run into him again . . . I'll be standing there smiling doing my thang, and he'll just run away again . . . So sad Link to post Share on other sites
Author Yellowbug Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 Oh, one question regarding the "badmouthing" . . . Why do people do that???? I never bad mouth anyone I've had a falling out with . . . I just keep it to myself, or talk amoungst my girlfriends to get feedback regarding the situation . . . So, tell me do you know why???? Link to post Share on other sites
Von Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Oh, one question regarding the "badmouthing" . . . Why do people do that???? I never bad mouth anyone I've had a falling out with . . . I just keep it to myself, or talk amoungst my girlfriends to get feedback regarding the situation . . . So, tell me do you know why???? I thought about what you said, and I think it comes down to the fact that there is lingering feelings. I hate my ex, but there is a fine line between love and hate. Prior to finding out she got prego, I still had love for her, but the news tore me up and turned my lingering love feelings to hate. If I had been indifferent, like me ex is, I wouldn't be badmouthing her, because I wouldn't care. Your ex said those comments to gain sympathy from his friends. Sounds like there are still lingering feelings for you. But since your indifferent it's not going to matter. One day he'll fully get over you. One day I'll fully get over my ex. And I'm a 34 yr old mature man, but emotions control everything. A broken heart just takes a long time to heal :-( Link to post Share on other sites
Author Yellowbug Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 I thought about what you said, and I think it comes down to the fact that there is lingering feelings. I hate my ex, but there is a fine line between love and hate. Prior to finding out she got prego, I still had love for her, but the news tore me up and turned my lingering love feelings to hate. If I had been indifferent, like me ex is, I wouldn't be badmouthing her, because I wouldn't care. Your ex said those comments to gain sympathy from his friends. Sounds like there are still lingering feelings for you. But since your indifferent it's not going to matter. One day he'll fully get over you. One day I'll fully get over my ex. And I'm a 34 yr old mature man, but emotions control everything. A broken heart just takes a long time to heal :-( I appreciate this feedback, and believe me I understand the hurt . . . It took me months to get over the anger . . . I never bad-mouthed my ex because I knew it would make me look week, so the anger came out in the gym, at the bar, and towards my friends . . . I would get confrontational with anyone and everyone, and they couldn't understand what they did wrong . . . They didn't do anything wrong . . . So, to say I was/am indifferent is not the case . . . I just put on a good front to not look like an idiot . . . But doesn't there come a time when the friends say to that person, "Dude, enough is enough and you're starting to look silly?" Link to post Share on other sites
Von Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Well yes, my friends got sick and tired of hearing about my pain. I eventually bottled it all up and it's taking a long time to get over her. I can't imagine what shed think if she knew I was still suffering. She'd probably think I was pathetic. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Yellowbug Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 Well yes, my friends got sick and tired of hearing about my pain. I eventually bottled it all up and it's taking a long time to get over her. I can't imagine what shed think if she knew I was still suffering. She'd probably think I was pathetic. It's not pathetic . . . It's human . . . If you're not dating anyone seriously, then it's hard to just push it away . . . Keep yourself busy and date . . . For those that say, "Just move on and get over it," then it wasn't love love and/or they got something else to keep them occupied . . . I had a short-lived BF in the summer and it took my mind completely away from everything, but it didn't last Link to post Share on other sites
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