shocked_confused Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Hey everyone, So I've been doing really well this past month, and I'm always trying to move forward. We broke up about 2.5 months ago. However, I haven't gotten around to deleting our photos from facebook (there's a lottttt to go through since we have a 6 year history). I did block and delete him a while ago though. Anyway, I was on facebook last night when I noticed that the number of photos that I was tagged in went down by about 100. They were all from his albums. So I'm pretty sure he deleted a lot of our pictures (I can't see his profile so I don't really know), though I'm still tagged in a few. Anyway, I know he's my ex and it was something that was going to happen eventually, but it still hurt a bit. Not a lot, just a little. Maybe I should weed through some photos on mine over the next few weeks, its about time. So does that mean he's over me? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 It doesn't mean anything. It's facebook. It's not real life. Delete your own pics when you want to. Link to post Share on other sites
Fern Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 No, it doesn't mean he's over you, it means he's committed to trying to get over you though. I did the same thing quite early on in my breakup - it was too hard having those pictures there to remind me. Until I saw this post it never occurred to me that my Ex might have noticed what I did. I had him blocked too. I wonder if he thought I was doing it to hurt him? I wasn't, I just needed to be proactive in getting over him. It felt good to take charge and do something. Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Pete and Fern are both right on this one. Follow Fern's comments, they are an important part of understanding how each person deals with seperation. Pete's comments is all the more true...it's just FaceBook, one of the most ridiculous forms of communication ever promoted to such a level as it has. Good luck and best wishes, Am4Real Link to post Share on other sites
Ajax Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 My ex deleted all pictures of us together from her FB page a coupld weeks after she dumped me, but left pictures of just herself tagged from albums of mine. When I noticed she'd deleted the pictures of us together I was crushed. Her dumping me was bad enough, but it felt like she was erasing out history and invalidating our relationship. For months I left the pictures of her tagged to essentially force her to remember our relationship. But after four months of NC I decided enough was enough and I wasn't helping myself by holding on. I blocked her and deleted the pictures. They're not even on my computer anymore. Since there had still been pictures tagged of her she'll definitely have noticed their gone, but that's not my problem. My advice is to do the same. Don't take it personally that he deleted pictures. Like another poster said, it's just Facebook. It's hard not to dwell on things, but it's important to let go as much as you can and as quickly as you can... because that's what they're doing too. Link to post Share on other sites
fiat500 Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 F##k Facebook. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shocked_confused Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 F##k Facebook. Haha thanks fiat, your absolutely right, eff it! And thanks to everyone else for their opinion too. I definitely don't want to dwell on it. It hasn't been on my mind at all for the last few hours, so I guess it's a good sign that I'll be over him taking down our photos by the end of the weekend lol. We'll see. I think it was just a bruise in my ego. TGIF, time to have fun this weekend! Link to post Share on other sites
500daysofsummer Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 believe them when they said IT'S JUST FACEBOOK. it's the truth! my ex deleted all of my pics from her albums right after we broke up. yeah it sucked but i expected it. she even started going out with another guy and posted pics of him. changing her relationship status. saying she loved him etc etc. blah blah after the smoke had cleared. she said she didn't love him and he's just a friend. she still loves me. it's just facebook!! that's why i deleted my profile. it takes up too much time anyway. but he MIGHT be over you but he might not. he's just going through standard protocol after a breakup. don't sweat it! Link to post Share on other sites
fiat500 Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 It could always be worse. At least he just deleted your pictures. I got dumped over Facebook messenger. I will forever loathe that social network along with my ex for all eternity. Link to post Share on other sites
melenkurion Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Fern is dead right. I deleted all photos of my ex on fb just after Christmas. It didn't mean I was over him, but it did mean I wanted get over him. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 how do you get over someone? is this what you do delete pics? what else? i want to get him out of my heart. also, we didnt have this stuff years ago FB and all this nonsense. i always thought knowledge was power and it is in the beginning. but in the end..i think ignorance might be bliss. all i know is it sucks being in love when its over. Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 how do you get over someone? is this what you do delete pics? what else? i want to get him out of my heart. also, we didnt have this stuff years ago FB and all this nonsense. i always thought knowledge was power and it is in the beginning. but in the end..i think ignorance might be bliss. all i know is it sucks being in love when its over. And the majority of those I’ve met who are fanatical about FaceCrap are “off” in a way unique to their need for social bonding based on information and updates the most intelligent on our planet classify as useless substance. Keeping the above explanation in mind, does it not fit those that manage and allow basis for their relationship on the same medium as “off” in a unique way. I hear the word FaceBook and have to scream back “get a life”. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shocked_confused Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 And the majority of those I’ve met who are fanatical about FaceCrap are “off” in a way unique to their need for social bonding based on information and updates the most intelligent on our planet classify as useless substance. Keeping the above explanation in mind, does it not fit those that manage and allow basis for their relationship on the same medium as “off” in a unique way. I hear the word FaceBook and have to scream back “get a life”. I knoww i knowww, I shouldn't really care about what's going on with his facebook. For what it's worth I'm not a fanatical facebook user who needs to constantly update their status and creep people 24/7. But it is very easy to get sucked into that facebook crap if you allow it. oh and to update, I don't care as much as I did yesterday about him taking our photos down In factttt, I went out last night and met a hot guy and exchanged numbers wooooooo wooooooooo haha. funfunfunnnn. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 It't just facebook. Though it seems to have changed soo much of the dynamic of relationships. My Nephew and his GF/baby mama decided to mark themselves as single even though they are anything but single until the event of their getting married. It's just too much BS around relationship status on there. The thing I hate the most is that relationships used to be a relatively private thing. You got together or broke up and the only people who knew were whoever was in earshot and really good close friends. Now EVERYONE IN THE DAMM WORLD knows about it and has an opinion about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 I knoww i knowww, I shouldn't really care about what's going on with his facebook. For what it's worth I'm not a fanatical facebook user who needs to constantly update their status and creep people 24/7. But it is very easy to get sucked into that facebook crap if you allow it. oh and to update, I don't care as much as I did yesterday about him taking our photos down In factttt, I went out last night and met a hot guy and exchanged numbers wooooooo wooooooooo haha. funfunfunnnn. Dear Shocked, No accusation was meant for you; I was commenting on the overall prominence of FaceBook and how it enters so many post here as something relevant. Your post was harmless and not fitting to my comment only that the word FaceBook sometimes needs mention as it relates to relevance and perspective. I’m happy to hear you are taking care of yourself. Go slow…look before you leap…and make yourself the priority during this healing process are my words for you. Good luck and best wishes, Am4Real Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 The thing I hate the most is that relationships used to be a relatively private thing. You got together or broke up and the only people who knew were whoever was in earshot and really good close friends. Now EVERYONE IN THE DAMM WORLD knows about it and has an opinion about it. This should be turned into the best quote of 2011 (so far). What a way to sum it all up!!! Very, very, good! [highlight]Bravo![/highlight] Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 To the OP I too was not belittling your feelings. Just look at it this way. If your here and broken up over pictures I will hope that you don't have any more durable assets to worry about. After 6 years people can build up allot of other stuff you know... cars, houses, furniture...children. I have a car to remember her by. She has my child, who only looks more like me by the year to remember me by. Those are pictures I would regret deleting forever. Cut the cords and let go because you can. For you better things will come with less baggage. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 i know where she is coming from about deleting pictures. i am sure they can be replaced from the original cd or chip or whatever you call it. God willing. but the real thing is it is experiencing the rejection ALL over again. being reminded they are vanishing from your life and you from theirs. its such a horrible feeling. when we have access to see them do this.....to view the demise...its so so painful. thats why i hate fB and buddy lists at email addresses too. its the internet period. you get to see so much. i saw his announcement from his friends tweet that he got married!!!!! i had NOOOOO clue, till then. afterall he ended it 6 months prior and supposedly met her and knew her for only 4 months!!! i verified it was true via the internet too. because......i didnt know if his friend was joking. hes such a prankster. but ..yep...lo and behold....their marriage license was listed at the clerks county office..blah blah blah. can you say PAIN? makes me hate the internet. oh yeah and i met him on the internet. i know this thing can be a blessing or a curse. its both. but seeing these things after the break up.....is a curse. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 (edited) This should be turned into the best quote of 2011 (so far). What a way to sum it all up!!! Very, very, good! [highlight]Bravo![/highlight] Thankyou. Well I cannot poo poo FB all together. On one hand it brought me into contact with an old EX who I bore my heart to and who has, at least for now, choosen another mate. :-| On the other it has allowed me to see pictures of the child I always suspected was mine and awoken me to what I really lost. :-< On the other hand it has allowed me to keep in touch with a woman I met in a pole dancing class I took from July to November. Now she wants to see me with a first date where I meet her coworkers. :-) Overall FB is a net neutral. Yeah seeing the old EX and one great love of my life fall for another there was hard. Yeah seeing my son and how much he looks like me was both good and bad. Yeah being able to parlay a platonic relationship into something that could be real...especially now that my heart is free is good. Ultimately what matters is how people act in real life. IRL when I meet this new woman again, how will we be? IF I see my EX IRL or when I see her in court how will we be? Real LIFE is where it matters. FB is just a tool for RL not a substitute for RL. Edited January 15, 2011 by Mrlonelyone Link to post Share on other sites
Fern Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 You took a pole dancing class? Link to post Share on other sites
Author shocked_confused Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 Hey guys, Thanks for all your responses, i really appreciate it. And no worries, i didn't take any offence to your comments at all. in fact, you guys really helped me! so thank you! I'm trying not to read too much into it. Actually, i haven't thought about it too much over the weekend because I've been busy and having a good time hopefully it stays this way. Thanks again! Link to post Share on other sites
Movingthrough Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I may be wrong but im pretty sure if you block someone on there you will not see them tagged in your pics anymore, it makes it as if they arent even on the site, it actually does a good job of blocking. Facebook is tough, i feel if you use it for what it was made for it can be ok but it has gotten way out of hand. I read once in a book that you wont see anyone posting "just got in a fight with my bf!!", so its always the lovey dovey BS on there. I know of MANY people that had a facebook page looking like a damn valentines card only to break up days after. To me if your page is full of that stuff then you lack the confidence in the relationship. My ex as we speak has her whole page with her new guy and they look so "in love", yet every one of her friends have said that "they have never seen her like this and it looks like BS". Take facebook for what its worth, an easy way to make things look good. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 You took a pole dancing class? Yes. I met a new woman I am talking to there last summer. We would strip for eachother and practice giving eachother lap dances will full frontal contact. It's a good way to break the ice. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenPolicy Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I completely scrubbed my ex from my fb after she dumped me. Saved all our pics to a jump drive and threw it in the closet. I cannot handle looking at her profile. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shocked_confused Posted January 17, 2011 Author Share Posted January 17, 2011 I may be wrong but im pretty sure if you block someone on there you will not see them tagged in your pics anymore, it makes it as if they arent even on the site, it actually does a good job of blocking. Facebook is tough, i feel if you use it for what it was made for it can be ok but it has gotten way out of hand. I read once in a book that you wont see anyone posting "just got in a fight with my bf!!", so its always the lovey dovey BS on there. I know of MANY people that had a facebook page looking like a damn valentines card only to break up days after. To me if your page is full of that stuff then you lack the confidence in the relationship. My ex as we speak has her whole page with her new guy and they look so "in love", yet every one of her friends have said that "they have never seen her like this and it looks like BS". Take facebook for what its worth, an easy way to make things look good. Oddly, all of the tagged pictures he had of me in his albums were still tagged. I just couldn't click into the actual album if i wanted to. And I can't click on his name anymore on the pictures that I have tagged of him. His name is still there, but its not highlighted in blue anymore, just plain black. But i totally agree with you on how people create a facade, making people think their relationship is just dandy...but we truly don't know what's on the inside. There were some relationships that i used to envy because they seemed so solid in the facebook world. but in the end, their relationships fell apart just as ours had! Link to post Share on other sites
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