what will happen to my house?

[hensley258]

Long story short...Wife leaves one night never comes back (4 months ago) next day returns tells me she is leaving because she is boinking another Man. (yes, she dead faced addmitted it the next day) She never returns and abandonds the family home with both our name on the title and loan.

 

Wife gets apartment and says **** you and the house along with everything in it. (even her dogs) Husband now short 44K a year joint income struggles to keep up payments so child can stay with friends and at same school.

 

Bank will not take her name off loan. Must refi. Can't refi husbands credit shot to hell. House may fetch 90K on a sale but 122K plus seller fees is what I need to sell it. Bank wont allow sale or transfer of title unless 32K difference is paid. Husband doesn't have 32K.

 

Tried short sale. No can do. Bank said no way and a short sale lowers your credit score by 250 points. Checked TN state laws, turns out banks in TN by law are not obligated to allow a short sale.

 

I want to stay here for my daughter. During the divorce what can the Judge do? Will he just let the wife take the free ride even though her name is on it too? Even the Judge doesn't have many options. I mean whats he going to say? Sell it. LOL! Yea right. I got ten homes way better than mine selling on my block alone that are going for what my pay off is and they have been sitting there for 18 months now collecting dust.

 

I can't just go get an apartment because once they do a credit check and see 122K owed on a home then no way they will approve me. Wife was able to do it because her score is 785. I told her if she doesn't help that I will forclose and she can watch that score drop to 450 but she just said screw it I don't care.

 

She is nuts. If I had a 785 score I would lick my own testical to keep it.

All that matters is this OM. I mean nothing else matters to her not even our daughter who she makes sleep on the floor at her 450 SQ ft apartment.

 

Worst part.... In court I have no way to prove her infidelity. Not really anyway. I cant prove the illigal drug abuse in the house. It's all my word against hers and that don't mean ****.

[pookster72]

could you rent the house out? get a roommate? maybe even a family member or something?

[Steadfast]

I was in the same exact situation Hensley. I made it...you will too.

 

Laws vary from state to state but where I live mortgage companies have to accept market value for payoff. This can be done by appraisal or an actual approved offer. The mortgage company won't tell you that (for obvious reasons) but it the laws support you, they will have to take it.

 

I didn't want to leave my home but with my income cut in half (and no child support...even with a court order she doesn't pay it) I thought I was screwed. Desperate, I applied for a mortgage reduction and got approved, but the months and months of negotiation were pretty wearing. The good news was after I was approved I didn't have to pay a mortgage payment until my plan was completed, and that was delayed because the interest rates kept dropping. The extra time allowed me to catch up on some other things and made a bad situation tolerable. I needed a break, and got one.

 

One more thing to consider: my divorce decree was a critical part of the approval process. Seems some people just apply to get a lower rate falsifying the records throughout the whole process. Check into it.

 

If I were you, I'd stop fussing over the whole credit score deal. Just getting divorced hammers it, but like your life it can be rebuilt.

 

Hang in there-

[hensley258]

I was in the same exact situation Hensley. I made it...you will too.

 

Laws vary from state to state but where I live mortgage companies have to accept market value for payoff. This can be done by appraisal or an actual approved offer. The mortgage company won't tell you that (for obvious reasons) but it the laws support you, they will have to take it.

 

I didn't want to leave my home but with my income cut in half (and no child support...even with a court order she doesn't pay it) I thought I was screwed. Desperate, I applied for a mortgage reduction and got approved, but the months and months of negotiation were pretty wearing. The good news was after I was approved I didn't have to pay a mortgage payment until my plan was completed, and that was delayed because the interest rates kept dropping. The extra time allowed me to catch up on some other things and made a bad situation tolerable. I needed a break, and got one.

 

One more thing to consider: my divorce decree was a critical part of the approval process. Seems some people just apply to get a lower rate falsifying the records throughout the whole process. Check into it.

 

If I were you, I'd stop fussing over the whole credit score deal. Just getting divorced hammers it, but like your life it can be rebuilt.

 

Hang in there-

 

Thanks, man I'm freking out here. The wife is sending me text messages saying she is going to take my only daughter from me and get sole custody because I suffer from depression and have to take prscribed medication for it.

 

Then she is saying our daughter will be able to live with her and OM away from me. Then she threatend to take her out of state so I couldn't find her. She is making calls to my work to distract me from my duties so I fail at my job. I can't freaking concentrate at work because of this **** and i'm falling behind.

 

She will text and say the most hurtful things. I never loved you anyway and thats why I left with OM. Then she says she will use my drinking against me. (I swear I only have one rum and coke each night after work, never more) I am not a drunk for god sakes.

 

Then she says she is going to hit me with so much child support that I wouldnt even have money for a place to live. She is so mean to me and all I did was watch her walk out the door 4 months ago to her new boyfriend. I never hurt her in anyway.

 

God what am I going to do without my child? You know these judges they will give full custody to even a crack head mother and screw the father.

 

They always favor the mother and my wife is a 5 star actress. She can turn on the tears in a second.

 

I'm going to see an attorny on Monday, but the cost of this will bankrupt me. I have no proof of all her wrong doings so none of that can be used.

A creek without a paddle for sure. If I lose my daughter I have no reason to live anymore.

 

I should let this house fall into forclosure. watch her credit score drop 350 points for 10 years. Mine is low anyway so who cares. I could use that house payment money for my legal fees anyway.

[Steadfast]

Hensley, you've got to get a grip. Your wife is full of it. The sooner you stop letting her blow you up the better off you'll be. You talk like she's calling all the shots and that's probably because she is. She's bullwhipping you.

 

Facts:

 

-If she tries to take your daughter away she's breaking the law. She will be arrested for kidnapping and will lose any chance of any kind of custody.

 

-She can't 'hit you' with child support. Every state uses a wage chart to determine the amount of support (depending on the custody/residence settlement) and your divorce will be no different. In joint custody, there will be a residence for the child and as of now (I assume) that's with you.

 

She would pay you.

 

If she's saying these kind of hurtful things, then yes; do whatever you must to retain the services of an attorney. When you file and do so with the understanding that she is combatant, include the clause that if the judge rules in your favor she pays your legal fees. She's forcing you to hire an attorney, and because of that, you refuse to take the financial burden.

 

After you have an attorney, she is all finished talking/texting/phoning you. No more. All communication will be done through the attorney. At that point, I predict she'll begin to pucker. When she does, you'll be tempted to fall back but you can't. Just remember what she said and how she threatened you. She has serious issues. You need to protect yourself.

 

Regarding (your perception of) her ability to turn the court's ruling in her favor, I can tell you from experience that it won't work. The court sees divorce hearings every day Hensley, and they've seen it all. Your wife's very core will be exposed in the light of that courtroom. I've seen it happen numerous times. You'll see. Just make sure you have your ducks in a row. No lies, no exaggerations. The court's only concern is the well being of the child. They could care less about your pain and suffering. It's all business in there and thank goodness for that. Get your sh*t together, OK?

Edited January 16, 2011 by Steadfast

[hensley258]

Hensley, you've got to get a grip. Your wife is full of it. The sooner you stop letting her blow you up the better off you'll be. You talk like she's calling all the shots and that's probably because she is. She's bullwhipping you.

 

Facts:

 

-If she tries to take your daughter away she's breaking the law. She will be arrested for kidnapping and will lose any chance of any kind of custody.

 

-She can't 'hit you' with child support. Every state uses a wage chart to determine the amount of support (depending on the custody/residence settlement) and your divorce will be no different. In joint custody, there will be a residence for the child and as of now (I assume) that's with you.

 

She would pay you.

 

If she's saying these kind of hurtful things, then yes; do whatever you must to retain the services of an attorney. When you file and do so with the understanding that she is combatant, include the clause that if the judge rules in your favor she pays your legal fees. She's forcing you to hire an attorney, and because of that, you refuse to take the financial burden.

 

After you have an attorney, she is all finished talking/texting/phoning you. No more. All communication will be done through the attorney. At that point, I predict she'll begin to pucker. When she does, you'll be tempted to fall back but you can't. Just remember what she said and how she threatened you. She has serious issues. You need to protect yourself.

 

Regarding (your perception of) her ability to turn the court's ruling in her favor, I can tell you from experience that it won't work. The court sees divorce hearings every day Hensley, and they've seen it all. Your wife's very core will be exposed in the light of that courtroom. I've seen it happen numerous times. You'll see. Just make sure you have your ducks in a row. No lies, no exaggerations. The court's only concern is the well being of the child. They could care less about your pain and suffering. It's all business in there and thank goodness for that. Get your sh*t together, OK?

 

I'm going to do everything I can. I have a couple things in my favor. I cant wait until Monday when my Lawer takes over so I don't have to talk to her all the time.

[divorce2010]

Ok. I can't answer all of it. But here goes. Screw her credit. She's not going to care if some other guy is helping her.

 

Infidelity and adultery. I had my wife give a deposition to the court where she admitted it. Note, it also helps if you tell her you will subpoena the boyfriend. This will save you thousands in alimony.

 

Regarding the tears. I had the same issue. The game she played, which worked well, was to accuse first. This way I was always defending myself. You have to accuse her first so she'll do the back tracking. Sorry if I rambled but hope it helps.