Leviia Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Again that's totally depressing and a testament to why I'll never date. How the hell will I know if a guy actually WANTS to date me rather than just have me because "I'm there"??? You men suck you know that?? *cries* Link to post Share on other sites
susanfollows Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I use to have alot of guy friends too just like your girlfriend. The thing is I was in my 20's then and really I just liked the attention and the surprises they would spring on me all the time. Like inviting me to clubs, dancing, drink (sometimes at their house) and the like. After awhile I realized I was just around to be their sex toy and nothing more, they weren't really my friends. They would usually get me drunk and after that it was hard to say no to sleeping with them, especially if I had no way to get home. Take it from me if your girl has alot of guy friends they're only after one thing, and it's not her friendship or yours. Link to post Share on other sites
moloko Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Take it from me if your girl has alot of guy friends they're only after one thing, and it's not her friendship or yours. and also, based on your experience, this is the reason girls have alot of guy friends. The kind that they go out with all the time that is anyway. Because they know what the possibilities will be, yet they'll say, "but we are just friends". ya, riiiiiiiiiiight:rolleyes: Link to post Share on other sites
BS76 Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I'm looking for a woman's perspective here (though feel free to fire-away guys)... I have recently started dating a woman who makes it known (albeit all-to-often), that she talks to and hangs out with some of her guy friends. The thing is, I clearly know that she wants me to be exclusive with her. Admittedly, she has NOT asked me this, but I know it is the case. We have been intimate on more than one occasion, and have gone on countless dates in the past two months. Normally, I would be very receptive to an exclusive relationship under these circumstances. However, her mentioning other guys to me, is what I perceive as an act to make me jealous or 'push' me towards asking for exclusivity with her. I will not date a woman who hangs out with or talks to other guys on the side (friends-wise). Please don't take that as a controlling statement; if she wants to keep her guy friends, so be it, but she will not have me. I feel it is disrespectful to me and the relationship and will not have it. I know she is trying to show me her market value, but it is this very behavior that is counteractive to her ultimate goal. Finally, getting to my question... Do woman really feel that bringing up other guys will motivate their significant other into seeking an exclusive relationship with them? Does it really work for you? There is often a very specific reason why women have mostly guy friends: they love the attention. When women say they don't get along with other women, what that translates to is they misbehave and women call them on their bs and drama ensues, whereas men fawn over them regardless of their indescretions. You and I know damn well that all of those guys want to have sex with her if she's even half decent to look at it, and she knows it to if only subconsciously. Bottom line, women with mostly all guy friends are trouble and not worth getting serious over. PS People should get validation and have their emotional needs fulfilled by the person they're romantically linked to, not "friends" who they may or may not consider sex-worthy on the side. Link to post Share on other sites
susanfollows Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 and also, based on your experience, this is the reason girls have alot of guy friends. The kind that they go out with all the time that is anyway. Because they know what the possibilities will be, yet they'll say, "but we are just friends". ya, riiiiiiiiiiight:rolleyes: All my friends I've known have at one time or another slept with a guy they had only told everyone was their friend, it was either while drinking or doing drugs, but all have. I know I have too and alot of it was just kinda going with the flow, seeing all of them doing it. I admit to being weak in my early 20's emotionally stupid and thinking I had to be like my girl friends to be popular. But if she has guy friends one way or another she'll end up in their bed or already has, I would hate for my bf to be in a similar place in his life and back then no he shouldn't have taken my word for it I didn't know what i was saying. Link to post Share on other sites
moloko Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 All my friends I've known have at one time or another slept with a guy they had only told everyone was their friend exactly, and it makes my point. it was either while drinking or doing drugs which is irrelevant Link to post Share on other sites
TerminalMan Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 Speaking from my own point of view: I can be -- and am -- "just friends" with several women (about 7). For the most part, one or more of these conditions must be met: * Women I am NOT physically attracted to (even though they may be hot). * Women I know WAY too much about (and/or they about me). * Women I think would be too much trouble/drama if we ever dated/did it. So, men, should you trust your ladies with me? It depends. Here's the catch. There are a few female "friends" who like to hit me up when they are on the rebound (or having relationship issues). Very rarely, I take the rebound ones up on the offer. And we remain friends afterwards. However, I would say that for the mythical "typical" man, it is difficult being just friends with the opposite sex. Yes, we've already imagined you naked, and made a snap judgement as to whether you are "doable" should the correct circumstances arise. My judgement is often "doable, but not worth the hassle or the loss of friendship." I am pretty sure I may be in the minority, possibly because I'm over 40. Most women who spend alone time with male friends (while seriously dating someone else) are putting themselves and the relationship in harm's way. Sometimes intentionally. Boys will be boys. And girls will be girls. And either can be attention whores.... or worse, cheaters. If I am dating a girl I care about, I would not dare spend alone time with another girl except under specific circumstances -- such as lunch in public. ALWAYS run from a girl who has lots of guy friends who she spends alone time with, especially if she hides it from you (until she's caught), or if she blabs constantly about them. It's not a test to see how you respond. Many of these girls are constantly looking for the famous greener grass. If she really cares about you, she wouldn't spending lots of time alone with other guys... friends or not. Gay men friends for your girl? Oh sure, those are possible. But then again, many gay guys I know were once married, or at least tried the other side one time. The plumbing still works, you know. There are women out there who can be "friends only" with guys. I know a handful. I know a hundred more who cheat at every opportunity they get, and will create as many opportunities as possible. Even if you trust HER, there is no reason to trust a guy you probably know next to nothing about, and who is spending time with her. Oh, I should mention that there are few of my women friends (even ones I've known for 20 years) that sooner or later don't try to lay one one me. This is NOT to toot my horn, just to say that proximity = temptation. And we know what happened in Eden. Link to post Share on other sites
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