LisiEeyore Posted March 20, 2004 Share Posted March 20, 2004 To explain the situation a bit, I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. We will be getting engaged probably before I move to another state in August. There normally wouldn't be a problem with this, we trust each other and love each other as much as we ever could love anyone. The problem is my boyfriend's sister. Matt, my boyfriend, told me about his family and how things have been. He's 22 now but has been on his own, well with his sister, for the past 4 years. His sister has always been a mom in his life more than the friendly sisterly advice that we all want from a sibling. So he lives with his sister, pays his half of the household bills, car, insurance, etc... He works full time and goes to school full time since he never had the chance to go to school after high school. So basically his sister is still taking this maternal thing. The issue really is that she's demanding and get's ticked at every little thing she does! She is very sweet and nice to me while I'm there but if he comes to see me, it's supposedly because I don't like her, etc... She is a bit of a head case in the fact that if one little thing goes wrong the world is against her and everyone hates her. I have given her no reason to distlike me but it still seems that I make her uncomfortable around me. I have tried talking to her, being nice, getting her opinions, etc... it just seems like I'm in her way. It's also a thing that when I was at their house a lot this past summer she was great with me, I was always there and not taking time away from her little brother, who I love with all my heart. Now that I'm back at school for my last year in college she is very ticked when he comes to visit me and spends a night and asks why I'm never there. She's just very backwards toward me. I've never had a problem making friends with people or getting close to people and with her, who I so desperately wish to be close with, I can't do it. Matt and I will be getting engaged and are planning a wedding for 2007/2008 so that we both have our time to get settled, etc... in a new state and I'm worried about how she'll react and be towards him when we do get engaged. He doesn't want to tell her and I totally understand that. My family is great about it, they like him and they trust me in knowing that I have never gotten into anything that I'm unsure of. I guess my real thing here is what can I do to make the relationship with his sister better or at least at minimal disputes with Matt that make me very incomfortable?? Link to post Share on other sites
cutiebabe Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 Hey, Congrats on ur future together and best of luck for ur engagment/wedding. It seems to me that she is acting like nearly all mothers would..she obviously doesnt want to let her brother go..its natural for her to feel like hes being taken away from her and to feel scared for him going out in the world alone. Your bf needs to talk to her and explain he loves you very much and wants to start a life with you but he doesnt want her to feel like hes abandoning her. However on the other view he could just tell her to grow up and let him live his life, but im sure that wouldnt go down very well...but if worst comes to worst i think that he'd have to be a little like that otherwise he will be forever feeling miserable. Get him to explain to his sister that she needs to let go of him and let him begin his long and very happy, im sure, life.If though his sister does not backoff after being talked to and explained to then his best bet is just to get on with his life with you and let his sister work it out on her own, if she doesnt accept it then shes being selfish and at that point he should just tell her to grow up and deal with it. Goodluck with it all, Blessed Be Link to post Share on other sites
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