LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 This is a post long since coming. For as long as I can remember, there's been a division in my family. All of my cousins would play together as kids, and my Aunts and Uncles, save for a few, would shower them with gifts and affection. I never had any of that growing up. To them, I was always the black sheep. Always. It doesn't matter that I tried my best to fit in, I just couldn't, and now that I think about it, that's probably best because my family is rotten. They're just nasty, self centered people that are racist and judgmental and homophobic. I suppose it's a good thing that I never fit into any of that, because I came out the better person. However, I still feel anger at never having had a family. I still have to make peace with that. How can you cope with a family that hates you, for no reason whatever? And how can you not feel hate back? Link to post Share on other sites
Allisha Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 This is a post long since coming. For as long as I can remember, there's been a division in my family. All of my cousins would play together as kids, and my Aunts and Uncles, save for a few, would shower them with gifts and affection. I never had any of that growing up. To them, I was always the black sheep. Always. It doesn't matter that I tried my best to fit in, I just couldn't, and now that I think about it, that's probably best because my family is rotten. They're just nasty, self centered people that are racist and judgmental and homophobic. I suppose it's a good thing that I never fit into any of that, because I came out the better person. However, I still feel anger at never having had a family. I still have to make peace with that. How can you cope with a family that hates you, for no reason whatever? And how can you not feel hate back? The bold bit. Honestly, you shouldn't even bother with people like this. You don't need a family to be happy or a good person. You can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends. That's all you need. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted January 19, 2011 Author Share Posted January 19, 2011 The bold bit. Honestly, you shouldn't even bother with people like this. You don't need a family to be happy or a good person. You can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends. That's all you need. You're absolutely right. I just need to value the family members that value me, and forget the rest. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 How can you cope with a family that hates you, for no reason whatever? And how can you not feel hate back? Regardless of the unhealthiness type, the opposite of love is indifference. Genetics are not the prescription and impetus for love. Disconnect them and don't look back. They won't care, trust me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted January 19, 2011 Author Share Posted January 19, 2011 Regardless of the unhealthiness type, the opposite of love is indifference. Genetics are not the prescription and impetus for love. Disconnect them and don't look back. They won't care, trust me. Oh, I believe they don't care. That's what hurts the most. But I'll discontinue the relationship. I don't care about them, anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 I just need to value the family members that value me, and forget the rest. ... and build up a circle of friends who are literally the family of your heart. You won't have any regrets because they're a HUGE support system and love you the way you hope your blood relatives would. Best of all, the friendship thing allows for a bit of space and less judgmental viewpoints from them. Link to post Share on other sites
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