Blue Gardenia Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Darling lover: Its been 6 months since we parted. We spoke again 3 months ago, when you told me you cared for me but you no longer wished to be with me because you had feelings for someone else. I kept praying you would change your mind, but I haven't heard from you. You know what has crushed me? That you said I was the love of your life, yet you barely mourned my absence from your world. You were involved with someone else within 2 months of our parting. Was I that easily replaceable, my love? why was it that my love remained unshakeable, yet your's -- if love was in fact what you felt for me - was not? Yes, I initially pushed you away. But you knew that THE ISSUE was a big thing for me; you did nothing to help me with it. I needed time, my darling lover. I needed time to sort all that out, and even though I pushed you away, I reassured you that you were the only man for me, that you were the only one I loved and would ever loved. You wrote to me a few weeks later and said you would always love me, that i was your true love, and that I would have your heart forever. Those were your words. Yet, two months later, you willingly opened your heart to another woman. Could you not have called me first? Why did you close your heart to me so soon? Why didn't you fight for me? Instead of walking away that night, why couldn't you pick up the phone the next day and say, you know what sweetheart, this isn't the end - I'm going to work this issue out with you, and we're going to be together, because the alternative - losing you -- is far too painful. But the alternative wasn't more painful, was it? the alternative was far more palatable for you than it was for me, that is abundantly clear to me now. Was I a mere nuisance to you? All the beautiful things you said to me during our relationship -- do you say those things to all the girls you are involved with? Did my memory mean so little to you? I returned to you a few months ago, I called you, with a pure repentant heart, and admitted to you that I had been in error that night. You stayed on the phone with me for 6 hours. You forgave me, but you could not return to me because you didn't think we could work out our differences and besides you were happy with someone else. Yet you still cared for me. You told me you had moved on. How can you say you moved on while still caring for me? While still retaining my letters in your desk? While still remembering what I smelled like? How does that constitute "moving on"??? How can you play me like that, telling me you don't know what the future holds yet also saying that you hope I meet Mr. Right? But if you moved on, you moved on. I will never, ever understand how that happened so quickly. At this late stage of our lives, we had found something beautiful. Neither one of us had experienced such magic. I still remember the way you looked at me, the way you gently held me in your arms. You obviously have a unique heart....in the space of months, you can go from loving one woman (me) to another (her). That is incredible! God, I do love and care for you! I really do! But I can no longer put my life on hold waiting for you, waiting for this rebound to end, waiting, hoping, that you will recognize the good that was between us, the love, tenderness and passion. Because I may end up waiting forever. My beautiful lover, a part of me will always love and care for you. I hope you feel the same way. With warmest thoughts always, blue gardenia. Link to post Share on other sites
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