Broke up after fiancee cheated and now I feel lost and alone..

[kourtney01]

As you may know from reading my other posts...I just broke up with my fiancee.

 

If you would like the full story, I have a few threads posted under "trust and relationships".

 

Basically he cheated once...I took him back and we had no problems for a while. However, at the onset of shady behavior...I broke up with him again. I also kicked him out and we have not seen each other in a week. I know that I have evidence that he was doing something behind my back. What and how bad it was I don't know..I'm second-guessing myself because I love him soooooo much and our wedding was only a few months away...I also can't believe that we are in this bad place again after all the positive steps we took forward and how strongly we feel about each other.

 

He went on vacation (selfishly during a really bad time) and now he's been texting me non-stop...I know that me breaking up with him has ruined his trip and it's killing him inside...but I didn't cave...I only replied once and then went NC. Now the text messages stopped and all of this is really sinking in. I guess I was happy as long as he was chasing me and apologizing...but the bigger issue is that he did something behind my back that he won't admit to and it has ruined everything between us...again.

 

I'm just really sad..I know I'm doing the right thing but I can't help but hope that we will get back together and live happily ever after and he will change...My heart is telling me to hang on but my brain knows that what he did is inexcusable and I have to respect myself and love myself enough not to let him get away with it.

 

I'm stuck. I feel torn and I'm taking this really hard...I feel empty without him and I know he feels the same about me..but then why would he risk everything again for some meaningless crap.

 

Any advice?

[Goldenspoon]

 

Any advice?

 

 

Why is he texting you? Didn't he take your engagement ring while you're not watching? That shows how comitted he is to you.

[smilesalot1]

As you may know from reading my other posts...I just broke up with my fiancee.

 

If you would like the full story, I have a few threads posted under "trust and relationships".

 

Basically he cheated once...I took him back and we had no problems for a while. However, at the onset of shady behavior...I broke up with him again. I also kicked him out and we have not seen each other in a week. I know that I have evidence that he was doing something behind my back. What and how bad it was I don't know..I'm second-guessing myself because I love him soooooo much and our wedding was only a few months away...I also can't believe that we are in this bad place again after all the positive steps we took forward and how strongly we feel about each other.

 

He went on vacation (selfishly during a really bad time) and now he's been texting me non-stop...I know that me breaking up with him has ruined his trip and it's killing him inside...but I didn't cave...I only replied once and then went NC. Now the text messages stopped and all of this is really sinking in. I guess I was happy as long as he was chasing me and apologizing...but the bigger issue is that he did something behind my back that he won't admit to and it has ruined everything between us...again.

 

I'm just really sad..I know I'm doing the right thing but I can't help but hope that we will get back together and live happily ever after and he will change...My heart is telling me to hang on but my brain knows that what he did is inexcusable and I have to respect myself and love myself enough not to let him get away with it.

 

I'm stuck. I feel torn and I'm taking this really hard...I feel empty without him and I know he feels the same about me..but then why would he risk everything again for some meaningless crap.

 

Any advice?

 

Sorry for your loss. Anytime you go through something like this it hurts. My boyfriend and I of 10 months broke up for about the 5th time because of his Ex wife not knowing and respecting boundaries. He allows her behavior and makes me miserable. I know too that this is best for me and I realize PEOPLE DO NOT CHANGE... SITUATIONS DO. We must be strong and put ourselves in better situations. I am hurting bad... I stayed in bed all day and cried the majority of it. I am so used to having him to call and txt ... he is my best friend. A friend told me today... No one has ever died of a broken heart. Well, she didn't say you wouldn't want to. Listen to your brain now. The more you do the stronger your heart will be. Just know someone else is hurting just like you.

[kourtney01]

Why is he texting you? Didn't he take your engagement ring while you're not watching? That shows how comitted he is to you.

 

I guess i deserve the sarcasm...

 

He did try giving me back the ring since that day...I guess he did that to hurt me because he knew he screwed up..

 

I haven't accepted his offer since I'm doing the whole NC thing.

 

But I know what you mean

[kourtney01]

Sorry for your loss. Anytime you go through something like this it hurts. My boyfriend and I of 10 months broke up for about the 5th time because of his Ex wife not knowing and respecting boundaries. He allows her behavior and makes me miserable. I know too that this is best for me and I realize PEOPLE DO NOT CHANGE... SITUATIONS DO. We must be strong and put ourselves in better situations. I am hurting bad... I stayed in bed all day and cried the majority of it. I am so used to having him to call and txt ... he is my best friend. A friend told me today... No one has ever died of a broken heart. Well, she didn't say you wouldn't want to. Listen to your brain now. The more you do the stronger your heart will be. Just know someone else is hurting just like you.

 

AW hope you feel better...yes, I don't doubt that there are many others hurting at the same time...doesn't make me feel better tho

[Jonno_S]

Boy, that stinks. I sure hope you're right, however, about the cheating.

 

So look at how much self-respect you showed. I commend and applaud you for having such high standards. You are one in a million, and I mean that. I often imagine that if all women had such standards men would stop being such scum-bags. They do half the stuff, it seems, because they can get away with it.

 

Not exactly on point to your situation, but I was with a toxic girl for a while because I was lonely or would have been if I broke up. I suffered at least a year or so of on and off mental abuse. I finally broke up with her and it's only in hindsight that I realize and can see that it was absolutely the right thing to do. It's easier in hindsight because we don't have the emotions you are experiencing (love, lonliness, etc.) that you are going through right now.

 

I say stick to your decision and move on. He had his golden opportunity and he blew it.

 

(And BTW: you did not ruin his vacation by breaking up. He did be being scummy.)

[Jonno_S]

He allows her behavior and makes me miserable. ... he is my best friend.

 

Wha?? Your best friend does this? And what do your enemies get away with?