QuiltMom Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 What does it really take to be a good perfect wife these days? I know a lot of what I learned from my 1st marriage has to be wrong (he was abusive) but I thought I had it figured out. I like concrete fact/directions so I figured June Cleaver with a full time job - wife does all the cooking/cleaning/childcare, is understanding, supportive, thrifty, defers to husband's opinion, frequent enthusiastic sex, weekly BJs, and supports herself and her children by working to bring home enough money to pay all the basic household expenses. I know I'm not thin (a curvy 16) but I take care of myself to be as attractive possible. I know I slip sometimes and get stressed out but very rarely. What have I got wrong?! Link to post Share on other sites
What_Next Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 For her to show up naked and bring food?? All kidding aside this is somewhat a rhetorical question in that everyone has their own specific tastes. I've found my answer, the wife I have Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 wife does all the cooking/cleaning/childcare, is understanding, supportive, thrifty, defers to husband's opinion, frequent enthusiastic sex, weekly BJs, and supports herself and her children by working to bring home enough money to pay all the basic household expenses. Sounds exhausting! What makes the perfect husband? Link to post Share on other sites
UnsureinSeattle Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 A good (best) friend. Lots of communication. A fair dash of common ground. A willingness to be a equal partner. The rest should take care of itself. To be honest- I wouldn't want some kind of June Cleaver Stepford wife. I don't want a maid or a servant. Link to post Share on other sites
Eeyore79 Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 weekly BJs What, you mean I only need to do it once a week to be the perfect wife/gf? Geez, I sometimes do it twice a day! I obviously need to cut back with my loving and giving Link to post Share on other sites
Sparty97 Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 Honestly, I could care less about the cooking and cleaning stuff. I love to cook (and I'm better than she is at it) and I prefer to do my own laundry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuiltMom Posted January 18, 2011 Author Share Posted January 18, 2011 Really?! I'm starting to feel like a fool, a lot of hard work and stress for nothing. All I've ever heard is men complaining their wives are lazy and don't do enough. I only said weekly BJs as a minimum - he has a lower drive than me and he's done if I do that. I'm happy he's happy but I like sex too. Link to post Share on other sites
tnttim Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 All that crap means absolutely nada when it comes to a good wife. You can get a house keeper, cook, nanny, and hooker to fill out those jobs. Do you have fun together, that's it!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 What have I got wrong?! never did i hear mention of doing things that You like, making yourself happy, and displaying self respect. a wife is not a maid or mother- she is an equal partner in a relationship. and if you like to do all the things you listed just because, awesome- but it is not a requirement. also if you are doing all those chores and "supports herself and her children by working to bring home enough money to pay all the basic household expenses" what exactly do you need the husband for? Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 I don't care if you're a husband or a wife, or even if you're not married, catering to your SO's every whim and asking very little in return makes a brat out of anyone. What hoops you happily jump through today will be the intolerable chores of tomorrow if you're not expecting much reciprocity. So if you're one of those people who asks very little of your partner while you lavish effort and attention on them - don't be surprised if you find yourself being taken for granted. And it won't always be because they were selfish and you're just now realizing it. You contributed to the tone. We're human after all and we take a lot easier than we give. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 the perfect spouse is someone who complements your personality – you know, makes up for those little deficiencies that you possess, and does so without complaining because s/he respects you. you're *doing* all these good things, OP, but you also need to let HIM contribute to the relationship as well because men's feelings of adequacy are tied into the provider thing. Hell, if he does a better job vacuuming, let him! Or cooking or whipping the kitchen into shape. He wants to feel valued by you, not merely served – in a healthy relationship, any way ... Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 OK, Dear, if yo say how to become a perfect wife then forget about being a perfect wife because perfection is not possible in reality, but I know how to become a better and better wife... These are the qualities, a better wife should have. she understand what her man need from her. she should be enough mature to maintain the relationship when there is no way to stop the fight. she should fulfill the physical requirement of her man, i mean no resistance for sex, if man like then give bjs sometime, participate equally in sex to maintain the power, maintain your figure so that your man never defocus from you.Become strength of her man where he is weak.she should know how to cook the special dishes of her husband's choice.childcare should be done by female in most cases.she should help her husband in future planning to let their family become more stable, understand the requirement of the family and if crisis come, she should hold her grip on extra expanses in routine life.she should do a job if possible to stand against general expenses.she should take care her husband when he really need her.she should know when, where and how to control her husband without conflict.she should make her hoe a clean home.she should help to make a happy family, if husband is aggressive then she needs to find solution for anger of her husband.she should participate in finding out the solutions rather then in fights.And the most Important thing, she must know how to make her husband "a person she want". (means, a lady should have key to convert a lion man into rabbit and a rabbit man into lion according to her convince, benefit and goodness of the family)Problem comes in everyone's life but a better wife should have positive attitude for the up coming problems. you may find many more points which are enough capable to have a place in the above list, but these points are primary and necessary... You know, you are doing most of everything, but what you really need to learn is how to handle the critical situations and how to handle the husband. Maintain your physique, don't do excessive exercise in hurry, do it regularly, you will soon become more attractive woman. Just make your self happy, you will control your anger and frustration automatically, just live a happy life. you will see drastic results in 1 to 2 months. Actually trouble never stays where happiness makes its home... Wow, what a great sentence is just written by me... :rolleyes::rolleyes: OMG dude! :sick: Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 :rolleyes::rolleyes: OMG dude! :sick: Yeah. And the punch line is: and forget points 1 thru 12 if she swallows. Link to post Share on other sites
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Compassion, understanding, honesty, and empathy are all great traits to have. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 this............................ Link to post Share on other sites
Lovelybird Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 The one major thing you are lacking is to challenge your husband to be a better man. Have you ever done that? Your focus is entirely WRONG. The more you challenge him, the more he will appreciate you. Link to post Share on other sites
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I believe that people who try to return to the 1950's should just build a time machine, and all go back there and find them a woman who will like them for their nonsense. The rest of us should just try to adjust to the times, and what is now... Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 where do you find that ?? It was dug up at an archeology site. When something becomes obsolete, it gets selected for extinction for its useless nature. There will always be people interested in digging it up the dead and idealizing the era of its relevancy. Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 :lmao: Thank heavens my H didn't get that memo... You got a keeper there jthorne! Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 The 50's were a simpler time. Women knew their place. Whether it be the kitchen or the bedroom, they were subservient. Affairs were commonplace then, just as now but in those days, when a man strayed, the woman was to blame. We have come a long way! Women stray just as much as men do now. Equality. I want to live on a farm. There will be me and my H tending the chickens and gazing into the sunset. There will be no internet! We will read books by the fire. I am a good cook and baker and a wh*re in the bedroom. Ideal. Oh yes, simpler times. Link to post Share on other sites
Questionis Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 What does it really take to be a good perfect wife these days? I know a lot of what I learned from my 1st marriage has to be wrong (he was abusive) but I thought I had it figured out. I like concrete fact/directions so I figured June Cleaver with a full time job - wife does all the cooking/cleaning/childcare, is understanding, supportive, thrifty, defers to husband's opinion, frequent enthusiastic sex, weekly BJs, and supports herself and her children by working to bring home enough money to pay all the basic household expenses. I know I'm not thin (a curvy 16) but I take care of myself to be as attractive possible. I know I slip sometimes and get stressed out but very rarely. What have I got wrong?! Er , you are married to a jerk who will let you take on all that by yourself. Try marrying someone decent next time. Link to post Share on other sites
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