hopesndreams Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 (edited) I mean Russell seems like a really, totally kind-hearted, sensitive, wonderful husband. He is really trying, Some are of the belief that those that get cheated on are in some way deserving of it. Those that think that way have never been affected by infidelity and/or feel as though they too could be "made" to cheat, under the right circumstances. There are many excuses that cheaters come up with to justify what they have done and they manipulate their spouse into believing that it is understandable why they did what they did. Good, decent people are not immune to being thrown away like garbage when their SO gets bored and wants to play. What is bolded is what OP's W is leading up to. I call it like I see it and with being on this forum for 2 years with close to 3,000 posts and having experienced deception and pain unimaginable first hand, the signs are there. Take the story step by step. Start at the very beginning. As for taking the separation papers, it was to show them to somebody. Edited February 16, 2011 by hopesndreams Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 (edited) Yes, indeed, taking the separation papers to show someone, that is a damn swift observation, and testiment to your esteem qualifications in these matters, and too, you experience on the LS forum. As well, I call em' like I see em', and am fascinated by what my post prompted from you! Bravo! Is it possible she's looking into the divorce herself? Perhaps her family, friends, or her own solicitor are assisting her in interpreting the document? Would that be so unusual? BTW I have read the entire thread and the one before it. I didn't memorize it. And I don't feel like re-reading it. But as I recall, the wife has tried to get Russell's goat by stating that she was catching the attention of other men when she went out. Could be a pathetic cry for attention, could be an attempt to make him jelious, could be a psudo-confession. Regardless of how much experience you or I possess or do not possess - there is yet to be cited evidence of OM/MM. (The last sentence of your post was stunningly brilliant! When I read it, my jaw dropped open! However, dispite how deeply and regrettably you've been hurt, and even if you have submitted 3 million posts, it doesn't automatically indicate that you have cited anything to support the OM/MM position, no offense intended.) Edited February 16, 2011 by Yasuandio Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 She has had the seperation papers since January the 4 th Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 Do you think I should ask her why she has taken the separation agreement? Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 I told you to expect weird stuff. She wants a reaction. She wants you on the phone shouting at her, she needs to justify her actions to herself. Do not give her the satisfaction. She also doesn't believe you about the divorce and she's testing you to prove it. How should i respond to her test? Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 How should i respond to her test? I've just started marriage counselling with my wife it's been a revalation and these words should ring true for you. She lost attraction and respect for me because I was acting like a kid, also respect for me as a man for letting my business run into the ground. Ohh and she loves it when I stand up for myself and hated that I let her walk all over me. This is probably the most valuable piece of information I've ever been given. Your acting like a child with her, and she is trying to make you do it even more. These texts, and visits are childish games We have told you a million times f'ing ignore them. You are being a doormat, she is testing you to see if you stand up to her. So far you've run back from London like a 16 year old, and been dragged around IKEA like Hyacinth Bucket's husband on your weekends off. Doormatish? what do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 Do you think I should ask her why she has taken the separation agreement? Act as if... you don't care. Don't mention it. It might be to show a solicitor, she might be keeping it in her top drawer just to keep you guessing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 I've just started marriage counselling with my wife it's been a revalation and these words should ring true for you. She lost attraction and respect for me because I was acting like a kid, also respect for me as a man for letting my business run into the ground. Ohh and she loves it when I stand up for myself and hated that I let her walk all over me. This is probably the most valuable piece of information I've ever been given. Your acting like a child with her, and she is trying to make you do it even more. These texts, and visits are childish games We have told you a million times f'ing ignore them. You are being a doormat, she is testing you to see if you stand up to her. So far you've run back from London like a 16 year old, and been dragged around IKEA like Hyacinth Bucket's husband on your weekends off. Doormatish? what do you think? Ok point taken! What about this seperation agreement? Do i just ignore the fact she has it? She told me yesterday that she doesnt feel it in her heart, i am ignoring all her crap Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 Act as if... you don't care. Don't mention it. It might be to show a solicitor, she might be keeping it in her top drawer just to keep you guessing. She's had it since January Link to post Share on other sites
sammyd Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 How should i respond to her test? "We have told you a million times f'ing ignore them." THIS. . . Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 "We have told you a million times f'ing ignore them." I am from now on! I promise! No more i'm just baffled over her change of mind and mood Link to post Share on other sites
sammyd Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 Haha!! Well, don't be baffled. Rob isn't. He knows the script;) Pretty much everything he's said has come to pass. So stick with it:) Oh, and try not to worry so much:) lol Link to post Share on other sites
Binster Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 Russ you've been getting great advice and suport here from day one but i've got to say mate if you dont start listening and taking this advice your gonna blow it. As far as someone else on the scene I had wondered myself, but no reason to really believe thats hapening --so far. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 Russ you've been getting great advice and suport here from day one but i've got to say mate if you dont start listening and taking this advice your gonna blow it. As far as someone else on the scene I had wondered myself, but no reason to really believe thats hapening --so far. I think may already be to late anyway!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 I I think it may be to late already! Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 Russ you've been getting great advice and suport here from day one but i've got to say mate if you dont start listening and taking this advice your gonna blow it. As far as someone else on the scene I had wondered myself, but no reason to really believe thats hapening --so far. Yep, It just doesn't fit on this occasion, I don't think she has anyone else. I reckons if he starts acting cool, I mean 007 cool about this, he's got a good chance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 Yep, It just doesn't fit on this occasion, I don't think she has anyone else. I reckons if he starts acting cool, I mean 007 cool about this, he's got a good chance. Well let's see??? Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 Yep, It just doesn't fit on this occasion, I don't think she has anyone else. I reckons if he starts acting cool, I mean 007 cool about this, he's got a good chance. Well let's see??? You need to stand up to her , completely camly and without acting like a jerk. No more chasing moving cars... be forewarned you ain't seen nothing yet. My advice is to get on a plane and go somewhere next your weekend Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 Look on the bright side too. Every married couple I know is either in MC, or one of them isn't happy. Actually do I know one couple who are happy, but they've only been married 3 years. 50% of these marriages will statistically survive, so many people do get past these problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 You need to stand up to her , completely camly and without acting like a jerk. No more chasing moving cars... be forewarned you ain't seen nothing yet. My advice is to get on a plane and go somewhere next your weekend As it stands at the moment i'm having no contact with her unless it's about the girls, i'm going to continue this! When she picks up my daughter on friday morning i will hand over my daughter outside the house and not let her in! Then after this weekend i will not have to see her for 10 days and i think that is exactly what the doctor ordered! I"m moving on now, i will see what happens with the whole speration agreement, but in the big scheme of things i'm just going to focus on me and my girls! Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 PS I havent heard a whisper from her now for nearly 24 hours! Having a bit of peace is great! I'm allowing myself time to focus on the future! Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 As it stands at the moment i'm having no contact with her unless it's about the girls, i'm going to continue this! When she picks up my daughter on friday morning i will hand over my daughter outside the house and not let her in! Then after this weekend i will not have to see her for 10 days and i think that is exactly what the doctor ordered! I"m moving on now, i will see what happens with the whole speration agreement, but in the big scheme of things i'm just going to focus on me and my girls! Good. Is she going away for 10 days? Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 PS I havent heard a whisper from her now for nearly 24 hours! Having a bit of peace is great! I'm allowing myself time to focus on the future! ok , I normally have my girls on Tuesdays and Thursdays but last night i didn't take them as it was just to soon to see her!She goes to college and i think she needs to think about life alone but i do like having them Here are the messages i have recieved so far tonight 1. are u having the girls thursday night or do you have another excuse? I do want to have them but i'm not going to respond straight away! 2.Oh sorry r u on a date with a new girl already. dont waste time do ya! 3.ok just ignore me c where it gets u..youl lose the girls i never will, have a nice date 4.Can you please ket me know so that i can make other arrangements im not trying to **** up your future sy r u mine 5. yr just being spitefull and pathetic i didnt and havent intentionally try and hurt u or mess with yr life ureally r something else These where all within a 20 min period, now i do want my girls tomorrow night but i want her to stop and think. How long do i make her wait, before i respond it's only because it's about my girls otherwise i woudnt bother Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 Good. Is she going away for 10 days? It;s half term and her weekend Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 ok , I normally have my girls on Tuesdays and Thursdays but last night i didn't take them as it was just to soon to see her!She goes to college and i think she needs to think about life alone but i do like having them Here are the messages i have recieved so far tonight 1. are u having the girls thursday night or do you have another excuse? I do want to have them but i'm not going to respond straight away! 2.Oh sorry r u on a date with a new girl already. dont waste time do ya! 3.ok just ignore me c where it gets u..youl lose the girls i never will, have a nice date 4.Can you please ket me know so that i can make other arrangements im not trying to **** up your future sy r u mine 5. yr just being spitefull and pathetic i didnt and havent intentionally try and hurt u or mess with yr life ureally r something else These where all within a 20 min period, now i do want my girls tomorrow night but i want her to stop and think. How long do i make her wait, before i respond it's only because it's about my girls otherwise i woudnt bother Simple text, "I'll takeKids on Thursday night " Link to post Share on other sites
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