Author russell1968 Posted February 22, 2011 Author Share Posted February 22, 2011 Watching what she is up to is a good thing in so far as protecting your children and gathering evidence to be used in a Divorce, but this sounds a little over the top to me. Don't be dragged into these games; don't play them. It's fine if she "thinks" you are seeing someone, but don't play down to her level. Just go about your life, worry about you and your children. I'm not getting involved with any of her games she has phoned over 37 times now, I jsu got a voicemail and it was basically just calling me a prick and a ****ing idiot and how she was going to make my life miserable! Link to post Share on other sites
What_Next Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 She is likely on drugs. I'd be recording those voicemails, and carrying a voice activated recorder. I'd also be keeping logs of inbound phone calls. Are your children within earshot when she is behaving like this? I certainly hope not. Link to post Share on other sites
UnsureinSeattle Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 Document all of this madness. It may very well help down the line. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 22, 2011 Author Share Posted February 22, 2011 She is likely on drugs. I'd be recording those voicemails, and carrying a voice activated recorder. I'd also be keeping logs of inbound phone calls. Are your children within earshot when she is behaving like this? I certainly hope not. She has left me 8 disgusting voicemails all telling me that i'm a piece of **** and she is going to take me for everything and stop me from seeing the kids. I'm shaking!! Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 This is exactly why you need a script for anxiety. Do you think this is good for your heart? Deep breaths, calm down. Count backwards slowly from 200. Do it again if necessary. Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 (edited) Do not listen to any of these messages unless you have a means to preserve them. This is critical. You MUST capture this evidence, as she is likely doing it in front of the kids, as "Whats Next" so brilliantly pointed out. Stop shak'in, and start strik'in. How can you get that FB crap? Get your mind on something else. You need a hard copy of these voice mail before you mailbox fills up. Go get a tape recorder right now. There are now digital tape recorders. Edited February 22, 2011 by Yasuandio Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 23, 2011 Author Share Posted February 23, 2011 I had 36 missed or ignored calls from her last night and she doesn’t even know about the divorce yet!! She sent me a text asking if I could have the girls Thursday night after she drove past my house and realized I wasn’t home ,I think she either wanted to go out or have a big coke session, or she knows I will only respond to any message if it’s about the girls! S it makes no sense from me to have them for an hour before they go to bed! I think she thinks I’m out with another woman! I texted her back saying sorry I already had plans, she said that’s fine! I then received some of the most toxic, hateful, voicemails you could ever receive. She asked me why I was ignoring her and why I’m not being reasonable , it then moved on to calling me some of the most hurtful things you could imagine like if you don’t want to be there dad I will introduce them to new daddy, I’m going to take the house your car everything. I didn’t respond to anything. Wow, this woman I loved is so far gone! Rob, you have dealt with some unreasonable behavior but this must take the biscuit Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 wow, she's really losing it. this is all to your advantage.. document document document. you may end up getting custody of your girls! Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 Are you now using your daughters as some sort of bargaining gamepiece? Seriously? And I know you are going to get all mad and huffy, but HONESTLY, if you REALLY believe that your wife is doing this much coke, and if she wants you to take your children on Thursday night so that she can have a big "coke session", then why don't you answer her promptly and say "Sure, I would love to have the girls. I'd love to have them all weekend, too." Get the children out of a potentially harmful situation. Take them every second you can get them, document the changes and the messages, and keep them as much as possible from her. Why are you now ignoring calls and texts and trying to get them to escalate, when the initial text was about your kids? Isn't the very bottom line their safety and emotional health? Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 23, 2011 Author Share Posted February 23, 2011 Are you now using your daughters as some sort of bargaining gamepiece? Seriously? And I know you are going to get all mad and huffy, but HONESTLY, if you REALLY believe that your wife is doing this much coke, and if she wants you to take your children on Thursday night so that she can have a big "coke session", then why don't you answer her promptly and say "Sure, I would love to have the girls. I'd love to have them all weekend, too." Get the children out of a potentially harmful situation. Take them every second you can get them, document the changes and the messages, and keep them as much as possible from her. Why are you now ignoring calls and texts and trying to get them to escalate, when the initial text was about your kids? Isn't the very bottom line their safety and emotional health? I have told her i'm busy with work this Thurday night which i am!I need not say anymore! I have no concrete proof that she is planning on having a big coke session or any thing else! I can only assume She is getting served divorce papers in the morning, if she wasn't getting the papers in the morning i would have them! Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 23, 2011 Author Share Posted February 23, 2011 (edited) Just received a copy of the letter that is going out to my wife in the morning. It reads We have been informed by your husband that he has come to the conclusion that your marriage is at a end and we have been insructed to start divorce proceedings. The reality of it all is starting to hit me! Edited February 23, 2011 by russell1968 Link to post Share on other sites
Binster Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 Stay away from her till the papers are served. Also it might be a good idea to turn the phone off tomorow till after you've finished work, I cant see you coping too well with work and the kind of contact you're going to get from her. I also think it's a good idea to keep all these mesages on file. Also bearing in mind what happened to the agreement she took back, I would find somewhere safe to keep any documents or photos, cash etc, leave them at a friends or in your office. Could also be a good idea to stay out of the way tonight and tomorow morning. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 23, 2011 Author Share Posted February 23, 2011 Stay away from her till the papers are served. Also it might be a good idea to turn the phone off tomorow till after you've finished work, I cant see you coping too well with work and the kind of contact you're going to get from her. I also think it's a good idea to keep all these mesages on file. Also bearing in mind what happened to the agreement she took back, I would find somewhere safe to keep any documents or photos, cash etc, leave them at a friends or in your office. Could also be a good idea to stay out of the way tonight and tomorow morning. Will do mate, she tried to call and she did send a crappy text, i replied 2 hours later and just asked if the girls where ok, the reply i got was they are fine!I woudn't be suprised if she knows something is wrong! Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 You better listen to Binster. Better safe than sorry. Any unsavory behavior, dial 911, or whatever it is you dial in the UK. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 23, 2011 Author Share Posted February 23, 2011 You better listen to Binster. Better safe than sorry. Any unsavory behavior, dial 911, or whatever it is you dial in the UK. Yep. i'm concerned about her reaction! But in all honesty what does she expect? You should never back a wounded animal into a corner!!l Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 Sorry, then. Didn't realize you were going to be at work all night. You had said something about not being practical for only having the girls for an hour prior to bed, so I assumed you were going to be at home. Honestly, if I thought she was going to go ballistic at getting papers served, I would take the children anyway, take the time off work as personal leave, let the girls miss the day of school, and go away for the day and do something fun. I wouldn't want there to be a chance that she would have your children with her when she gets served, if you think that she could go nuts. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 Yep. i'm concerned about her reaction! But in all honesty what does she expect? You should never back a wounded animal into a corner!!l Just don't get drawn into any rows or arguments with her Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 wow, she's really losing it. this is all to your advantage.. document document document. you may end up getting custody of your girls! I agree, document everything but you need to stop running scared of her. If she comes round screaming at you then "wife this marriage isn't healthy for either of us anymore, it's best for both of us to divorce" Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 I just went out running and as i got half way down my street i npticed her car outsid her so called freinds house, so 31 mins latee i noticed it ws still there @ 7.30 pm so i quickly moved my car off my drive and turned all the lights off, she didn't leave until 8.10 pm , she looked at the house and noiced i was out. She then sent me a text asking if i could have the girls Thursday night as she was tired of having the girls, this makes no sense as they would only be with me for a hour before bed!She knows i will only respond to any message if it's regarding the girls she then phones me over 15 times on all my different numbers, i ignore all of the calls! I know she is still very jealous and thinks i'm seeing someone, but she may be after a big coke session or a date?? i can't have any contact until she gets the divorce letter Forget worrying about her, just worry about you and the kids Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 I'm not getting involved with any of her games she has phoned over 37 times now, I jsu got a voicemail and it was basically just calling me a prick and a ****ing idiot and how she was going to make my life miserable! Lol I can tell you this is pretty standard. My first wife wasn't ever on drugs and she left me 21 voicemail messages on night ranging from "I love you" to "I hate you , you b*stard". She also cut some of my clothes up ... Do not be surprised at behaviour ranging from fake suicide attempts (you always have to take them seriously though) to her trying to lose you, your job. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 and she is going to take me for everything and stop me from seeing the kids. I'm shaking!! This is classic, they always say that!! Truth is only a lawyer and a court of law can determine that. Make sure you document EVERYTHING, you need all the ammo you can get in court. Messages, times dates , the lot. Put it on your computer make 2 hard copies, put one in a safety deposit box. In fact I hate to sound paranoid. You need to stash valuables now. I'm not kidding, once your wife runs out of drug money, don't be surprised if some of your stuff starts ending up on Ebay. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 ugh, what a mess. at least you're taking the power back and you are the one in the right. just protect your daughters and she'll do herself in. Link to post Share on other sites
sammyd Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 Hope you're ok Russell, haven't heard from u in a while. Keep calm, collected. Take care now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 24, 2011 Author Share Posted February 24, 2011 Hey gang, Been having a hard time! I have decided to play dirty she bought my girls over after recieving the papers, she was amazingly reasonable!! I asked her if she wanted to try and save our marriage? she has agreed to start councilling next monday with me!! It strikes me as being weird as last night she trashed my kitchen(Nothing like a bit chicken madras thrown up the walls!) Anyway i have my girls all tucked up in bed and safe! This has been the longest i have ever gone without seeing them! I sent her message saying that we should just focus on being freinds! She agreed, she has until 02/03/2011 to read the petion before it goes to court, if i can just make her think iv'e stopped all action i will be a much stronger postion! I know this may seam like a dirty tatic, but last night she got my daughter to say goodbye to me forever on the phone and apparently i would have to fight her on her doorstep to ever see my girls again. If you can;t beat them join them Link to post Share on other sites
What_Next Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 Shame on your wife for using your kids as pawns. May god have mercy on her. Bad situation or not, the fact that you let her use your child like that without putting a stop to it saddens me. I will not be following this story any longer. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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