Author russell1968 Posted February 24, 2011 Author Share Posted February 24, 2011 Shame on your wife for using your kids as pawns. May god have mercy on her. Bad situation or not, the fact that you let her use your child like that without putting a stop to it saddens me. I will not be following this story any longer. Good luck. I can't stop it she has custody1 until i get to court i have to play this game !! Don't worry she won't klnow what hit her! Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 OK, so you bs her with this dirty tactic, motive of. Which I fail to comprehend. And, that will be for how many days? And what will you gain? Generally, people that are divorcing and have a bone to pick about custody are not friends (or is that part of that dirty tactic?). Last I heard night before, you were not to have contact with her. When you noticed she was stalking you house, and the 37 threatening derogatory calls came into your verious phones, you said you were shaking, and I honestly thought you were experiencing the makings of a panic attack. You got the car, and the plan was to stay away. Now, WTF -- the evening ends with you serving chicken madras, that end up on the wall? Russell, this post makes absolutely no sence in the context of information you have provided, and the solid advice you have consisently received. Here's what I wanna know. What tangible documentaion do you have to date? That is the magic question! It will DETERMINE if you are dead serious about handling this matter proper, so you can make best case possible to win these kids OR you are just pussy foot'in around. List the evidence. For instance - did you take a photo of the chicken madras on your wall? Did you capture the 37 calls that came in last on a digital recorder? Tell us stright. The reason the LS Forum needs to know this is in order to properly assess where you are coming from. For instance, you may know nothing else but a "dance of drama" with your wife, and then it can be difficult to comprehend your choices. You are dealing with some very smart and experienced people in this forum. I myself have taken an interest in your case, and have devoted some time and thought thereto. But I find myself totally perplexed by the entry to which I refer. So please enlighten me with answers to the direct questions that speak to my confusion. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Hey gang, Been having a hard time! I have decided to play dirty she bought my girls over after recieving the papers, she was amazingly reasonable!! I asked her if she wanted to try and save our marriage? she has agreed to start councilling next monday with me!! It strikes me as being weird as last night she trashed my kitchen(Nothing like a bit chicken madras thrown up the walls!) Anyway i have my girls all tucked up in bed and safe! This has been the longest i have ever gone without seeing them! I sent her message saying that we should just focus on being freinds! She agreed, she has until 02/03/2011 to read the petion before it goes to court, if i can just make her think iv'e stopped all action i will be a much stronger postion! I know this may seam like a dirty tatic, but last night she got my daughter to say goodbye to me forever on the phone and apparently i would have to fight her on her doorstep to ever see my girls again. If you can;t beat them join them Ohh dear, what are you doing? All of this talk about her taking the kids is standard BS, the real decision rests in a court of law. If you were smart you'd be documenting all of this crap. You should have taken pictures of your "trashed" kitchen. Even better you've got the kids, thus freeing her up to go on a coke fest. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I can't stop it she has custody1 until i get to court i have to play this game !! Hang on a minute, haven't you been sharing? Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 Hang on a minute, haven't you been sharing? Yes we have, but she is so unstable. I have copies of all texts voicemails plus the chicken madras up the wall Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 OK, so you bs her with this dirty tactic, motive of. Which I fail to comprehend. And, that will be for how many days? And what will you gain? Generally, people that are divorcing and have a bone to pick about custody are not friends (or is that part of that dirty tactic?). Last I heard night before, you were not to have contact with her. When you noticed she was stalking you house, and the 37 threatening derogatory calls came into your verious phones, you said you were shaking, and I honestly thought you were experiencing the makings of a panic attack. You got the car, and the plan was to stay away. Now, WTF -- the evening ends with you serving chicken madras, that end up on the wall? Russell, this post makes absolutely no sence in the context of information you have provided, and the solid advice you have consisently received. Here's what I wanna know. What tangible documentaion do you have to date? That is the magic question! It will DETERMINE if you are dead serious about handling this matter proper, so you can make best case possible to win these kids OR you are just pussy foot'in around. List the evidence. For instance - did you take a photo of the chicken madras on your wall? Did you capture the 37 calls that came in last on a digital recorder? Tell us stright. The reason the LS Forum needs to know this is in order to properly assess where you are coming from. For instance, you may know nothing else but a "dance of drama" with your wife, and then it can be difficult to comprehend your choices. You are dealing with some very smart and experienced people in this forum. I myself have taken an interest in your case, and have devoted some time and thought thereto. But I find myself totally perplexed by the entry to which I refer. So please enlighten me with answers to the direct questions that speak to my confusion. Thank you. If i can stop her from seeing the petion, this will enable me to get a head start! Also by being amicable it would enable me to see the girls as it could take four months to get to court Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 If i can stop her from seeing the petion, this will enable me to get a head start! Also by being amicable it would enable me to see the girls as it could take four months to get to court Russell, Ever heard this one in the news? "Husband comes into wife's home and smashes everything up. Husband charged with affray/assault/damage to property" How is this any different because it's a woman. Should have called the police and had her charged. Not only would it kick her up the arse, but it would play out in your favour in court. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 Russell, Ever heard this one in the news? "Husband comes into wife's home and smashes everything up. Husband charged with affray/assault/damage to property" How is this any different because it's a woman. Should have called the police and had her charged. Not only would it kick her up the arse, but it would play out in your favour in court. I have copies of all the toxic voicemails, but like a idiot i just cleared everything up!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 I have copies of all the toxic voicemails, but like a idiot i just cleared everything up!! Rob, she said she would come to relate with me, i'm not stopping anything just wanted to know what your thoughts are? Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 OK, so you bs her with this dirty tactic, motive of. Which I fail to comprehend. And, that will be for how many days? And what will you gain? Generally, people that are divorcing and have a bone to pick about custody are not friends (or is that part of that dirty tactic?). Last I heard night before, you were not to have contact with her. When you noticed she was stalking you house, and the 37 threatening derogatory calls came into your verious phones, you said you were shaking, and I honestly thought you were experiencing the makings of a panic attack. You got the car, and the plan was to stay away. Now, WTF -- the evening ends with you serving chicken madras, that end up on the wall? Russell, this post makes absolutely no sence in the context of information you have provided, and the solid advice you have consisently received. Here's what I wanna know. What tangible documentaion do you have to date? That is the magic question! It will DETERMINE if you are dead serious about handling this matter proper, so you can make best case possible to win these kids OR you are just pussy foot'in around. List the evidence. For instance - did you take a photo of the chicken madras on your wall? Did you capture the 37 calls that came in last on a digital recorder? Tell us stright. The reason the LS Forum needs to know this is in order to properly assess where you are coming from. For instance, you may know nothing else but a "dance of drama" with your wife, and then it can be difficult to comprehend your choices. You are dealing with some very smart and experienced people in this forum. I myself have taken an interest in your case, and have devoted some time and thought thereto. But I find myself totally perplexed by the entry to which I refer. So please enlighten me with answers to the direct questions that speak to my confusion. Thank you. I have 15 voice mail messages! Over 40 texts , i also have voice recording of her admitting to taking cocaine! Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Rob, she said she would come to relate with me, i'm not stopping anything just wanted to know what your thoughts are? I think relate are excellent but both parties need to be willing. When things first erupted with me an my wife, we had one counselling session which was a nightmare, she clearly didn't want to be there. Now it's working brilliantly, it's not a magic wand, we may beed to be there for up to a year or more. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I have 15 voice mail messages! Over 40 texts , i also have voice recording of her admitting to taking cocaine! Ok this is good, but when someone is addicted to drugs they care about nothing else. she may not be a junkie yet but she is heading down that road. the only one who can seek treatment is her, no one can force her to do this. By all means go to Relate, see what she has to say but she needs to commit to stoping the drugs. Easier said than done!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 Ok this is good, but when someone is addicted to drugs they care about nothing else. she may not be a junkie yet but she is heading down that road. the only one who can seek treatment is her, no one can force her to do this. By all means go to Relate, see what she has to say but she needs to commit to stoping the drugs. Easier said than done!! She told me this morning that she has stopped taking coke!( Not sore if i believe her or not?) But she is still drinking and smoking pot She is willing to go to councilling with me but i think she needs to address other issues first! I told her to relax for a bit as this week has been crazy! I'm still collecting evidence and divorce proceedings are running in the background! Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 She told me this morning that she has stopped taking coke! She: "I've been clean for..." [pauses, looks at watch] "24 hours, 7 minutes, and 18 seconds. Exactly. And I don't miss it AT ALL." [digs fingers into sofa cushions] Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 ( Not sore if i believe her or not?) You can't believe her I'm sad to say. I know you want to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 You can't believe her I'm sad to say. I know you want to. I don't belive her, you are right i want to, but as i was leaving i saw her in the daylight and she did look battered, anyway doesn"t change a thing. She now knows i'm worried about her and will never tell me honestly what's going on! Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 (edited) She told me this morning that she has stopped taking coke!( Not sore if i believe her or not?) But she is still drinking and smoking pot She is willing to go to councilling with me but i think she needs to address other issues first! I told her to relax for a bit as this week has been crazy! I'm still collecting evidence and divorce proceedings are running in the background! Oh, just some weed and a bottle I wine a day. Sounds like she has really cut back. How long do you think it will be till she needs to powder her nose again? I wish you luck at Relate. But, she may be pulling your leg to buy time. Now that she's becoming exposed, it's possible she may start hiding her habit. I really hope not. I pray the scenerio will improve. Pull the data of incoming calls from all your providers that show the 37 calls too. Edited February 25, 2011 by Yasuandio Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 Oh, just some weed and a bottle I wine a day. Sounds like she has really cut back. How long do you think it will be till she needs to powder her nose again? I wish you luck at Relate. But, she may be pulling your leg to buy time. Now that she's becoming exposed, it's possible her may start hiding her habit. Pull the data of incoming calls from all your providers that show the 37 calls too. I have decided not to go to relate yet! You are right she may have gone underground with her habit! She is a very unhappy soul! Her father who she has never met is a psychopath and has been institutionalized Link to post Share on other sites
Binster Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Russell I told you before dont believe a word she says. You dont just stop with a 300 pound a week cole habit at least not usally. It's B/S. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 Russell I told you before dont believe a word she says. You dont just stop with a 300 pound a week cole habit at least not usally. It's B/S. Yep i know mate, forever the optimist. It’s just a really hard fact to face that the woman you love has turned into a lying scumbag! Link to post Share on other sites
tobydog1 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Russ Yes it is really hard but this has been playing out for months now. As I do, we need to get a grip and apart from comms re the children, there has to be no more contact. Just be stronger like I am trying to be. Children come first. She is a druggie and that does not bode well. Go for the D and see if that shocks her, but it may not if she is addicted....... Take all care Debs x Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 I have decided not to go to relate yet! Actually I think you are wrong, I think you should give it a try. You will find out soon enough if she's serious. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 Her father who she has never met is a psychopath and has been institutionalized Doesn't mean anything Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 26, 2011 Author Share Posted February 26, 2011 Actually I think you are wrong, I think you should give it a try. You will find out soon enough if she's serious. So much has happened, i'm not sure if i can be bothered ! I had to see her today, and i coudn't wait to get away.she asked me if i wanted some Tea, but i said sorry i have to go! Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 28, 2011 Author Share Posted February 28, 2011 My wife told me she hasn’t had any coke for 9 days, I believe her! As she has put on about 7ibs and looks much better. Link to post Share on other sites
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