Author russell1968 Posted April 26, 2011 Author Share Posted April 26, 2011 This is EXACTLY what I was doing, and now she has been seeing the opposite for months. I used to bitch and complain about everything, now I say nothing and actively try and do something about the problem rather than bitching. These situations give us a massive kick up the butt i think. It's been like when we first met for the last couple of weeks, the affection, the looks, the kissing and all the rest of it . If this can happen in my situation it can happen in yours. It's so true, she used to do everything for me!! I was like another child (Lazy) Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 child That was pretty much how my wife saw me. She told me this in no less words in MC. Link to post Share on other sites
What_Next Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Great progress for sure and I am happy for you. However, I do think that you need to be 100% sure that she is going to be commited to the marriage. How about her drug abuse etc? Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted April 26, 2011 Author Share Posted April 26, 2011 Great progress for sure and I am happy for you. However, I do think that you need to be 100% sure that she is going to be commited to the marriage. How about her drug abuse etc? I agree, that's why i haven't been hugely enthusiastic over her repsonce! I'm honestly starting to enjoy life again! Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 There are things that can be done in that regard. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted April 27, 2011 Author Share Posted April 27, 2011 There are things that can be done in that regard. Please tell more? Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted May 3, 2011 Author Share Posted May 3, 2011 Update. My wife didn't want to work on our marriage, she just wanted to continue to keep me hanging on a piece of string! I don't want this so i have done the 180 and limited contact, she is trying to be all official and has changed how i see my girls! She went crazy when i mentioned that if our marrigaage where to completly fail i would move back to London, where all my freinds and Family are! Link to post Share on other sites
No Name 01 Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 Well i just got done reading the whole thread. (eeck!!). My heart goes out to you. Well reading this thread, your wife has probably reached out to you 9 times. (which is very low). It is not just very low, but every time she says she wants to fix your guy's mirage, Or move in, Or take therapy, she ends up being pissed off for some unjustified reason, or simply quits. If it were my kids, i wouldn't feel comfortable (anywhere) knowing that my wife, a drug addict had my kids. At this point there is not much you can do about that. Your Wife has some serious problems. And at this point, it seems as though she has the kind of mentality that says "Its just hearting me, no one else". Only problem is that your kids live with them. Unless your willing to talk to your kids about drugs at such a young age. Or separate them from there mother, or see to it that she gets care. Your kids might just turn into one of those Monkey see monkey do. Thats not to say that she would ever take drugs in front of them. But lets imagine if she started taking care. She would get the kids one day. And she would go through a withdrawal. (i am not a druggie, so i don't know everything there is to know about what happens when you stop using drugs). Anyways she would go through a withdrawal, and either take it in front of them, or simply leave them to go to her "friends" house. (friends = drug seller). Having a child living with a drug addict increases the likely hood of them becoming a drug addict exponentially. I wish you could luck with your kids. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Update. has changed how i see my girls! This is the only way she can control you now, I told you to expect anything. I think you need to be firm, contact a solicitor, tell your wife that you are both going to get a legal childcare schedule drawn up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 Update. has changed how i see my girls! This is the only way she can control you now, I told you to expect anything. I think you need to be firm, contact a solicitor, tell your wife that you are both going to get a legal childcare schedule drawn up. Rob, I think i will do that ! She called me last night and asked if we where ok now? or am going to just keep going away She's mad! there is nothing i can currently do. I live 0.7 miles away from her so can be there in seconds if i needed Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 Update. has changed how i see my girls! This is the only way she can control you now, I told you to expect anything. I think you need to be firm, contact a solicitor, tell your wife that you are both going to get a legal childcare schedule drawn up. What the bloody hell is she playing at? Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Update. has changed how i see my girls! What the bloody hell is she playing at? Russell, I just gave you an answer. I'm surprised she didn't do that way earlier. Remember I told you to expect anything. This is where you need the services of a lawyer. she is also subconciously testing you. No more words. Action, lawyer, childcare schedule!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 Weird, but when i took my girls to visit some old freinds in London- we where talking about my wife and whats happened, my girlfreind who used to be close to my wife said that my wife was well aware of how i was and was the one who wanted to marry me! In conclusion, i don't think it would have mattered if i was a perfect husband, because of the age diffrence and her thinking that she has missed out on her 20"s this was inevitable.(Seperation!) I honestly think part of her wants me back but she is not willing to give up her current lifestyle (yet!) that's why she is keeping me hanging on! I'm not hangin on anymore! as you said Rob walk over broken glass Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 because of the age diffrence and her thinking that she has missed out on her 20"s this was inevitable.(Seperation!) I honestly think part of her wants me back but she is not willing to give up her current lifestyle (yet!) that's why she is keeping me hanging on! I'm not hangin on anymore! as you said Rob walk over broken glass With all due respect. You or her friends have no idea what she's thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 With all due respect. You or her friends have no idea what she's thinking. She probably doesn't know what she is thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted May 6, 2011 Author Share Posted May 6, 2011 I was doing really well until i came home from work last night! When i walked into a big empty house with no kids, wife, dog- just silence !! I broke down, i coudn;t believe how tough the last 5.5 months have been, I lay on my bed crying like a baby! But after about 5 mins i got up got changed went running, came back fixed dinner spoke to a friend, watched a movie!! I thought i was over this! Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 I was doing really well until i came home from work last night! When i walked into a big empty house with no kids, wife, dog- just silence !! I broke down, i coudn;t believe how tough the last 5.5 months have been, I lay on my bed crying like a baby! But after about 5 mins i got up got changed went running, came back fixed dinner spoke to a friend, watched a movie!! I thought i was over this! 2 years. It takes 2 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted May 6, 2011 Author Share Posted May 6, 2011 2 years. It takes 2 years. It's gonna be hard!! Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 It's gonna be hard!! You are almost a quarter of the way there. And yes, it is brutal. That's why we often don't run towards divorce with open arms. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted May 6, 2011 Author Share Posted May 6, 2011 You are almost a quarter of the way there. And yes, it is brutal. That's why we often don't run towards divorce with open arms. It's weird as i know part of her want's to reconsile, but she is still in a fog of drugs and booze, she changes her mind like the direction of the wind! Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 Has anyone had an intervention for her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted May 6, 2011 Author Share Posted May 6, 2011 Has anyone had an intervention for her? No, not that i know of anybody who has done that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted May 6, 2011 Author Share Posted May 6, 2011 She got a copy of seperation agreement from the solicitor yesterday and for the first time in months i didn't hear from her! Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 She got a copy of seperation agreement from the solicitor yesterday and for the first time in months i didn't hear from her! Intervention, contact an interventionist. Get friends and family together. Make her decide her life. ta-da. Answers abound. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted May 6, 2011 Author Share Posted May 6, 2011 I don't think it would make the slightest bit of diffrence who spoke to her! She just doesn't care! Link to post Share on other sites
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