robf1971 Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Hopesanddreams, Do you think I should give her a ultimatum? Like, you either move back in and we start going to counseling, or we get a divorce? Can't work won't work because it isn't what you want and you can't follow through with it. Have patience... it may never come to that. Link to post Share on other sites
tobydog1 Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Hi Russell I have read most of this thread...... I think, as in my situation, there comes a time when you have to say enough is enough. After 5 months I am having to do that and file for divorce when he left me! It sucks, it is hard and depressing but I am exhausted with it all now. I have tried my utmost to get him back to no avail. I hope things work out for you...but for your own sanity you cannot go on like this.... Where are you? I am in sunny Leeds Yorkshire! Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 Can't work won't work because it isn't what you want and you can't follow through with it. Have patience... it may never come to that. Your right i don't want that!! But i think there is alot of people out there who think i should just dump her! ( I was a crap Husband) Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 Hi Russell I have read most of this thread...... I think, as in my situation, there comes a time when you have to say enough is enough. After 5 months I am having to do that and file for divorce when he left me! It sucks, it is hard and depressing but I am exhausted with it all now. I have tried my utmost to get him back to no avail. I hope things work out for you...but for your own sanity you cannot go on like this.... Where are you? I am in sunny Leeds Yorkshire! Hey Tobydog! Thanks for your message! Thing are imrpoving, it's been 11 weeks, She has gone from hating me to kissing and hugging me, i want it to work! I'm based in sunny West Sussex Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 Don't panic! You'll be fine:) Just try and pick up the girls and leave, no drama's:) Hey sammy,Thanks for your kind words, things where fine, In fact she gave me a couple of kisses,one on the cheek and one on the lips! Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Where are you? I am in sunny Leeds Yorkshire! Ok, Leeds is sunny, West Sussex is sunny, Why is Oxfordshire, bang in the middle piddling it down with rain? Link to post Share on other sites
sammyd Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 That's great to hear Russell. No need for the stress then haha! Have a great weekend with the girls:) Link to post Share on other sites
sammyd Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Same here in Wilts!! Blowing a gale, and raining! Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Hey sammy,Thanks for your kind words, things where fine, In fact she gave me a couple of kisses,one on the cheek and one on the lips! I bet she will be at your place at some point in the next 48 hours. Seriously my money is on tomorrow morning. If she wants to drag you to Ikea again just give her the car keys and tell her to go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 Well there's always next weekend. Just take the kids somewhere really nice this w/e, I know the weather is gonna be sh*t and petrol is £1.30 per litre but take a nice drive with em somewhere. Rob, she called me from my house saying that the girls where already there and she had tidied the house for us!She is going out with her sister tonight, i asked if she was ok she said, everything is getting to her! (I think it may be too much booze-fags -Grass!) Got home cheerfull as anything, cracked a couple of jokes told her to cheer up! She had folded all my clothes again! She was kind enough to pop a couple of my blackheads!! (Now thats Love!) She then said bye to the girls, and kissed me on the cheek, then as she was leaving she went for another kiss this time on the lips! And then gave me a kind of dont' push it look i just put my hands in the air!!! I know i am being major drama queen over this seperation and probably pissing quit a few people on this forum off, but two weeks ago she woudnt stay in a room for longer than 5 mins with me , now we are kissing and enjoying each others company! If i hadn't come across this website, i think i would have served her divorce papers by now!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 Ok, Leeds is sunny, West Sussex is sunny, Why is Oxfordshire, bang in the middle piddling it down with rain? Rob, the weather is crap here as well, about a gale force 5 ,i live by the sea Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 That's great to hear Russell. No need for the stress then haha! Have a great weekend with the girls:) Cheers Sam, i have a beer for me as i will be to busy buying barbie dolls!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 She just came over again to show me how she looked in her new dress! (Cheeky cow!) Then another Kiss!! WTF is going on??????????? Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 She just came over again to show me how she looked in her new dress! (Cheeky cow!) Then another Kiss!! WTF is going on??????????? was she sober? Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 was she sober? Yes 100%, Very weird!! Link to post Share on other sites
sammyd Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 :bunny: sorry, had to bring out the rabbits lol Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 i'm so jealous, I wish I could get one more kiss from my ex. seems like your situation is improving. stay the course! Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 i'm so jealous, I wish I could get one more kiss from my ex. seems like your situation is improving. stay the course! Marquee, I'm so not there yet! But she is starting to sober up, things are improving, but it could easily change Link to post Share on other sites
kent1985 Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 ap0l0gies firstly f0r the use 0f the 0 key its just my lapt0p is damaged. Im 25 and my husband is 31, we met when i was 15 years 0ld and he was 22. We have 3 children t0gether 6, 5 and 2 when 0ur y0ungest was b0rn we b0th decided that my husband w0uld give up w0rk as we c0uldnt aff0rd the childcare and my wage was al0t higher. Since then he basically became a recluse and 0ur relati0nship has been r0cky and 0n and 0ff.... I th0ught a seperati0n was what I wanted as I have previ0us1y regretted n0t leaving and always th0ught that the 0nly thing we had in c0mm0n was the kids and als0 life was easier staying t0gether. I m0ved 0ut 2 weeks ag0 and the first week was great, s0 I went 0n t0 rent my 0wn place and signed a 6 m0nth lease. I m0ved in saturday and n0w it has all just g0t t0 me and I realise h0w much I actually t00k him f0r granted. Im n0t sure whether t0 tell him h0w I feel as I d0nt want t0 mess him ar0und and am als0 w0rried that I am just gravitating back t0 what I kn0w and am scared 0f being al0ne... There is n0 0ne else inv0lved alth0ugh he suspects there is, He says he wants us t0 get back t0gether h0wever he did n0t even attempt t0 st0p me leaving even packed my stuff. We have s0rted a r0utine f0r the kids s0 we b0th have them 50/50. I feel like such a bitch as I was s0 sure that this is what I wanted and that I didnt l0ve him anym0re and n0w all I want is him..... Im a mess Link to post Share on other sites
sammyd Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Hi Kent, welcome to LS:) Sorry to hear about what you're going through. You may get a lot more replies if you start your own seperate thread on this (although, i'm sure Rob will have some good advice for you on here!). How does your husband feel in all of this? Maybe it's not a bad thing that you've moved out for the time being to see how you both feel. I would probably give it a bit more time before rushing back though. Sounds like you need time to have a think. I'm sure there's other people on here a lot more qualified to give advice than me:) ((hugs)) Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 ap0l0gies firstly f0r the use 0f the 0 key its just my lapt0p is damaged. Im 25 and my husband is 31, we met when i was 15 years 0ld and he was 22. We have 3 children t0gether 6, 5 and 2 when 0ur y0ungest was b0rn we b0th decided that my husband w0uld give up w0rk as we c0uldnt aff0rd the childcare and my wage was al0t higher. Since then he basically became a recluse and 0ur relati0nship has been r0cky and 0n and 0ff.... I th0ught a seperati0n was what I wanted as I have previ0us1y regretted n0t leaving and always th0ught that the 0nly thing we had in c0mm0n was the kids and als0 life was easier staying t0gether. Hey kent, I m0ved 0ut 2 weeks ag0 and the first week was great, s0 I went 0n t0 rent my 0wn place and signed a 6 m0nth lease. I m0ved in saturday and n0w it has all just g0t t0 me and I realise h0w much I actually t00k him f0r granted. Im n0t sure whether t0 tell him h0w I feel as I d0nt want t0 mess him ar0und and am als0 w0rried that I am just gravitating back t0 what I kn0w and am scared 0f being al0ne... There is n0 0ne else inv0lved alth0ugh he suspects there is, He says he wants us t0 get back t0gether h0wever he did n0t even attempt t0 st0p me leaving even packed my stuff. We have s0rted a r0utine f0r the kids s0 we b0th have them 50/50. I feel like such a bitch as I was s0 sure that this is what I wanted and that I didnt l0ve him anym0re and n0w all I want is him..... Im a mess Speaking as a husband who's wife has left him! Please talk to your husband and tell him how you feel !There are so many people givng up on there marriages. Who cares if you break your tenency agreement! better to lose you deposit than your marriage Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Hopesanddreams, Do you think I should give her a ultimatum? Like, you either move back in and we start going to counseling, or we get a divorce? I must be the only one that thinks she's stringing you along. IMO, you are gullible beyond belief and scared to bits. What self-respecting man thinks that his W, showing off her new dress before heading out with sis to party, is ok? Why are you not appalled? There you are, sat home, looking after the girls, AGAIN, while she, who has a problem with drugs goes to a pub, to what? Play darts? C'mon! WAKE UP!!! You want to save the M. I understand that. You want her back home. I understand that too. What I don't understand are those encouraging you and cheering you on for doing all the wrong things to get her back! I would hate to see you still posting here months from now with the same spineless BS. Nothing but a train wreck here. I'll bow out now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 Hopes, Please don't bow out of my post, i value your opinion? One of the reasons that we are seperated is because how possessive and controlling i have been, we have maybe been out 2 nights in 5 years! I'm not critisizing her for going out as this would show that i'm still the same and haven't changed! I have been working on myself, i was a right miserable f=====r for years and i find myself smiling and laughing more than ever. Link to post Share on other sites
What_Next Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Hopesndreams and I often differ in our opinions, but I 100% agree with her and I thought the exact same thing when I read your post. I have been trying to say the same things all along, but in a little less blunt of a tone. Sorry, but I think she is playng you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 Hopesndreams and I often differ in our opinions, but I 100% agree with her and I thought the exact same thing when I read your post. I have been trying to say the same things all along, but in a little less blunt of a tone. Sorry, but I think she is playng you. You may well be right! i hope i find out soon as i like to think of myself as being a good guy and don't want to be exploited! Link to post Share on other sites
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