robf1971 Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 The phone calls started at 8.00am I ignored them! (I did want to pick up as thought one of my daughters could have been sick during the Night!) But I didn’t! 10 mins later she calls again I ignore, then a text then voice mail, a hour later and I call back, She asks me why I didn’t pick up the phone I told her I was driving , she said that never used to bother you ? I didn't say anything I then politely asked her what she wanted? after all this drama all she wanted was to know how to tax the car!! I told her I couldn’t speak long as I was at work, she asked why I couldn’t spend 5 mins on the phone I said I have a lot on and only just got in! I was pleasant but firm, she said you know you have the girls this weekend I said yes of course, I made my excuses and got the phone? This is hard, bit I think it may be working? Whats your thoughts Rob Well played.. I would have told her "I'm sending you a link to the DVLA website" oops gotta go boss is coming Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 20, 2011 Author Share Posted January 20, 2011 (edited) Rob, I’m getting it now, I’m actaully worried that I’m enjoying being on my own! Edited January 20, 2011 by russell1968 spelling Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Women unconciously test men all the time, they need to know that you can stand up for them. If you can't stand up for yourself against her then you have failed the test. The key is to do this without being a jerk. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 21, 2011 Author Share Posted January 21, 2011 Well, things are changing, I was at home last night and I had just put the girls to bed and I heard the door go it was her. She came in looking for her car tax form, she then asked me why I was being vague I said I wasn’t, I just said I was getting on with things, she asked why I wasn’t picking up the phone I said I was driving. She said that I seemed very happy and she wanted to know where I was at, she asked if I was seeing someone else. Did I still want to work on the marriage? She must of mentioned moving back in over 10 times, I played it cool, she stayed for 2 hours had some wine and we had some laughs, She said she should go I said ok, she then said baby steps! It was a huge turnaround. She texted me @ 7.30 am I just ignored it , then she called! Weird things are happening! Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Well, things are changing, I was at home last night and I had just put the girls to bed and I heard the door go it was her. She came in looking for her car tax form, she then asked me why I was being vague I said I wasn’t, I just said I was getting on with things, she asked why I wasn’t picking up the phone I said I was driving. She said that I seemed very happy and she wanted to know where I was at, she asked if I was seeing someone else. Did I still want to work on the marriage? She must of mentioned moving back in over 10 times, I played it cool, she stayed for 2 hours had some wine and we had some laughs, She said she should go I said ok, she then said baby steps! It was a huge turnaround. She texted me @ 7.30 am I just ignored it , then she called! Weird things are happening! OK, there could be several things going on here, I could have put a bet on her turning up, It could be that she is seeing someone else and wants to keep you as plan B It could just be a test of your resolve Something doesn't fit.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 21, 2011 Author Share Posted January 21, 2011 She was really concerned that I may have moved on! What should i do ? Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 She was really concerned that I may have moved on! What should i do ? Of course she is.. if you have she's lost all control of you. Keep doing what you're doing, just be pleasant about it, don't come off like you're trying to punish her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 21, 2011 Author Share Posted January 21, 2011 It was hard especially when she asked me if I still wanted to work on the marriage, I had to say yes, because it’s true! But now I will be cool. I know she is going out this Saturday, it’s going to be hard not ask her if she met someone else or pressure her! But I will stay strong! I think deserve a academy award for performance so far, as I’m really dying on the inside! Link to post Share on other sites
What_Next Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Take it easy, slow down.... Relax, breathe. BE happy, right down to your CORE. Then there is no need to act or lie about it. Learn to control your emotions. If she asks if you are willing to work on the marriage, it is more than OK to say yes. However, you need to say "no marriage works with only 1 side working on it, we BOTH have to". Leave it at that. If she asks why you are being vague just tell her you are busy and leave it at that. Don't be cold, just be frank. She is trying to wrap you around her finger as far I am concerned. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 She was really concerned that I may have moved on! What should i do ? Don't go all melty man on her. Just be happy and vague. Her plan is that she moves on, and you are pining and in tears. Suddenly you've put a spanner in the works, you appear to be paying her less attention and look happy. The first thing she is thinking is that you are having an affair, she is jelous. You need to take the high road on this and not go with anyone else (if you want to save your marriage). However joining a meetup.com or citysocialising in the UK is a great way to go out socially in mixed groups. You are not doing anything wrong, it will really get your wife interested in you. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 I know she is going out this Saturday, it’s going to be hard not ask her if she met someone else or pressure her! But I will stay strong! Yeah? This Saturday you are going out too, and you are going to forget about your wife for a few hours. Try citysocialising or something, meet some new people, have a few drinks. Let her wonder about what you are up to? Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Well, things are changing, I was at home last night and I had just put the girls to bed and I heard the door go it was her. She came in looking for her car tax form, she then asked me why I was being vague I said I wasn’t, I just said I was getting on with things, she asked why I wasn’t picking up the phone I said I was driving. She said that I seemed very happy and she wanted to know where I was at, she asked if I was seeing someone else. Did I still want to work on the marriage? She must of mentioned moving back in over 10 times, I played it cool, she stayed for 2 hours had some wine and we had some laughs, She said she should go I said ok, she then said baby steps! It was a huge turnaround. She texted me @ 7.30 am I just ignored it , then she called! Weird things are happening! I think she wanted to see if she still had you if she wanted you.. I think the way to handle this would have been, "wife here's the road tax form, If you want to chat I'm all ears but you just caught me on the way out" maybe we can meet next week, call me tomorrow" Then walk out, even if it's just to the cinema on your own, or to Starbucks. she doesn't have to know that. If you keep this up my money's on her baiting you with sex. It's called tagging. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 She must of mentioned moving back in over 10 times, ! Yep, and if she really wanted that, she'd have done it already. Actions speak 100 times louder than words. I seriously think you need to know if she's seeing someone else and nip that sh*t in the bud. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 I thought he had left the house? Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 she asked if I was seeing someone else. It would lessen her guilt tremendously if you were. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 she asked if I was seeing someone else. It would lessen her guilt tremendously if you were. Yep, Remember though don't start seeing anyone,but if you act happy, dress nice, make some new friends, when she hears your mobile blowing up with texts, she will wonder if you are. Just stay vague and don' t tell any lies, you won't need to. Seriously though, if you have access to the mobile bill , do some digging, if you find out she's cheating we'll help you deal with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 22, 2011 Author Share Posted January 22, 2011 (edited) ]I have my daughters for the first time by myself this weekendMy wife texted me at 10.00am I ignored it, she then called at 10.45 I ignored that, and then she left a voicemail and was very angry saying she wanted to speak to her daughters right now!I sent her a quick text saying sorry. I was busy the girls are fine; I have people over and wished her a nice weekend. I jumped in the shower; she called again and left another message saying she didn’t care if the queen was here! She wanted to speak to speak to the girls and if I didn’t call her back she was coming to get them]I called her back and she went crazy and asked why I was playing games! She said why did you say people in your text as opposed to your mum and dad, I said it’s quicker, she then said you cannot wind me up like this, as she doesn’t have feelings like that and it won’t work! She said she was worried about the girls and that I may have run of with them! That’s crap and she knows it! I told her I don’t keep my phone attached to myself and left it upstairs. She said well when we were together you had it attached to yourself! She then calmed down and asked how I was getting on with them as one of my daughters has been unwell! I said she’s fine, she then proceeded to tell me she was unwell and fell asleep early; she then told some guy friend of hers called her at midnight but she was asleepI didn’t say a word I just said bye]I’m not sure if this is working or not? Part of my feels like giving up and just filing for divorce]Any thoughts or recommendations are welcome? Edited January 22, 2011 by russell1968 Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 ] left a voicemail and was very angry saying she wanted to speak to her daughters right nowQUOTE] Testing, Testing 123 Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 ] She said she was worried about the girls and that I may have run of with them! That’s crap and she knows it! Standard walk away wife BS... I've been there, done that brought the T shirt. There is no way on this earth that she believes this Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 ]Part of my feels like giving up and just filing for divorce Calm the F down, you are a long, long, long way from this Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 ]I have my daughters for the first time by myself this weekendMy wife texted me at 10.00am I ignored it, she then called at 10.45 I ignored that, and then she left a voicemail and was very angry saying she wanted to speak to her daughters right now!I sent her a quick text saying sorry. I was busy the girls are fine; I have people over and wished her a nice weekend. I jumped in the shower; she called again and left another message saying she didn’t care if the queen was here! She wanted to speak to speak to the girls and if I didn’t call her back she was coming to get them]I called her back and she went crazy and asked why I was playing games! She said why did you say people in your text as opposed to your mum and dad, I said it’s quicker, she then said you cannot wind me up like this, as she doesn’t have feelings like that and it won’t work! She said she was worried about the girls and that I may have run of with them! That’s crap and she knows it! I told her I don’t keep my phone attached to myself and left it upstairs. She said well when we were together you had it attached to yourself! She then calmed down and asked how I was getting on with them as one of my daughters has been unwell! I said she’s fine, she then proceeded to tell me she was unwell and fell asleep early; she then told some guy friend of hers called her at midnight but she was asleepI didn’t say a word I just said bye]I’m not sure if this is working or not? Part of my feels like giving up and just filing for divorce]Any thoughts or recommendations are welcome? Ok ,here''s what's going on. You are taking back control, and she damn well hates it. You are being your own man, and not taking any of here cow poo. This is commonly known as crap behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 ] she didn’t care if the queen was here! She wanted to speak to speak to the girls and if I didn’t call her back she was coming to get them Next time, you call her out on this crap behaviour. " Wife I'm happy to speak to you but only in a civil and friendly manner. Until you can speak to me in that way the conversation is over" Then put the phone down. She will bombard you with about 10 nasty texts and voicemails after that etc, just ignore her then she will call you back and say sorry. Very soon she will start realising you won't be treated like that anymore and respect you much more. However you must be calm with her and not be baited into any arguments. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 22, 2011 Author Share Posted January 22, 2011 Rob, Was it wrong of me to ignore her calls when I have our daughters? I said if you where so desperate to call me why didn’t you call me on the land line? She said she didn’t have it, which is the biggest lie in the world! Also the accusing me of playing games and saying they won’t work! As she doesn’t have feelings! What the hell does that mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 22, 2011 Author Share Posted January 22, 2011 I think she wanted to see if she still had you if she wanted you.. I think the way to handle this would have been, "wife here's the road tax form, If you want to chat I'm all ears but you just caught me on the way out" maybe we can meet next week, call me tomorrow" Then walk out, even if it's just to the cinema on your own, or to Starbucks. she doesn't have to know that. If you keep this up my money's on her baiting you with sex. It's called tagging. She knows i can't leave the house as i have my daughters asleep upstairs Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 22, 2011 Author Share Posted January 22, 2011 I thought he had left the house? I came back and she left, due the house being in my name. Also i had to buy her out of her equity share, i had a legal document written up and she still hasnt signed it! Link to post Share on other sites
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