Author russell1968 Posted June 23, 2011 Author Share Posted June 23, 2011 Update, I have filed for divorce, my STBXW will not sign the papers, so i will have to have them served. I asked her why she doesn't want a divorce, she just said she didn't! I told her she wan't making any sense! I also said youv'e been with someone else and you don't want to be with me anymore, her reply was I'm not saying that i don't want to be with you! It will take time just take time???????? I'm not stopping this divorce, we hardly have any contact anymore! I have been going out loads and enjoying myself, I'm slowly getting on my feet again Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 Update, I have filed for divorce, my STBXW will not sign the papers, so i will have to have them served. I asked her why she doesn't want a divorce, she just said she didn't! I told her she wan't making any sense! I also said youv'e been with someone else and you don't want to be with me anymore, her reply was I'm not saying that i don't want to be with you! It will take time just take time???????? I'm not stopping this divorce, we hardly have any contact anymore! I have been going out loads and enjoying myself, I'm slowly getting on my feet again Good for you!!! What we were all telling you works, see... Anyway if she really, really doesn't want a divorce she will do ANYTHING to be with you. So far she's done sweet F'A. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 Thanks for the update. Her response to actually being served will be telling. I recall having a pleasant conversation with the sheriff who served me. His brief looked pretty full. Divorce is a booming business these days. You'll make it. I haven't kept up with the thread so won't comment on other aspects but IMO serving her, after 1401 posts, is a positive and healthy thing. Keep up the good work Link to post Share on other sites
debtman Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 I have been going out loads and enjoying myself, I'm slowly getting on my feet again BRAVO!!! She's had plenty of time to figure this out and she's certainly NEVER acted like she had any compassion for you or feelings for the M. Was starting to worry a bit after the post on the 11th, but it's good to see you're sticking to it and letting her "sleep in the bed she made." Good for you getting on with your life and moving forward...she did you a big favor!! Life is fabulous!!! Good luck and keep posting... Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted June 23, 2011 Author Share Posted June 23, 2011 Rob. Debtman, Cahill Thanks In around 4 month's we will be divorced almost a year after we seperated! I'm ok with this now! Link to post Share on other sites
What_Next Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 That is amazing! What a transformation you have went through. She really treated you like a piece of garbage. You have taken the high road and you deserve credit for that. You are an amazing father and a heck of a guy, some woman will be lucky to have you. Just don't rush into anything, get out there and play the field for a while first. I am so happy for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Mauschen Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 Goodness. Your wife sounds like a mess. I got divorced a few years ago, but we are still fighting custody in court, unfortunately. Yesterday my ex was FINALLY ordered to pay child support. And now we have another hearing for custody in October. I hope yours goes much quicker. Have you read "Child custody A to Z" by Guy White? Very helpful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted June 23, 2011 Author Share Posted June 23, 2011 That is amazing! What a transformation you have went through. She really treated you like a piece of garbage. You have taken the high road and you deserve credit for that. You are an amazing father and a heck of a guy, some woman will be lucky to have you. Just don't rush into anything, get out there and play the field for a while first. I am so happy for you. Thanks WN, I was a loves sick puppy for a while! i was getting great advice but i was in denial. You are right i have no intention of getting romantically involved with anyone Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted June 23, 2011 Author Share Posted June 23, 2011 Goodness. Your wife sounds like a mess. I got divorced a few years ago, but we are still fighting custody in court, unfortunately. Yesterday my ex was FINALLY ordered to pay child support. And now we have another hearing for custody in October. I hope yours goes much quicker. Have you read "Child custody A to Z" by Guy White? Very helpful. Not yet, but i'm just waiting quietly in the back ground for her to mess up (She Will!) Link to post Share on other sites
Binster Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 Nice one Russ, good luck mate. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Wow and 44,000 page views too, I think we could teach Ebay a thing or two lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted July 6, 2011 Author Share Posted July 6, 2011 Update, Wife has received amended divorce papers, but still does not want to sign them!! All financial matters have been sorted already, i'm moving out of my town in the middle of August, i'm going to start my life all over again! I'm getting stronger and starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel!! She still doesn't want to let me go! But it doen't matter anymore as i'm going anyway Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Keep on moving towards positivity man! Don't stop for anything. Once you are out you are out, I envy you! Link to post Share on other sites
What_Next Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Way to go! This woman has put you through a living hell! I am not one to suggest being vindictive, but I hope you grind you boot into her head. You will survive, you will thrive! Link to post Share on other sites
LexiB Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Update, Wife has received amended divorce papers, but still does not want to sign them!! All financial matters have been sorted already, i'm moving out of my town in the middle of August, i'm going to start my life all over again! I'm getting stronger and starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel!! She still doesn't want to let me go! But it doen't matter anymore as i'm going anyway Wow. I wonder what rationale she could have for not wanting to sign the papers?? Is she still with her boyfriend (and more importantly, do you have proof of their relationship)? Perhaps you can use that to force the issue in court. In any event, good luck man, and continue to keep your head up! You sound amazingly well in light of everything! Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted July 8, 2011 Author Share Posted July 8, 2011 Wow. I wonder what rationale she could have for not wanting to sign the papers?? Is she still with her boyfriend (and more importantly, do you have proof of their relationship)? Perhaps you can use that to force the issue in court. In any event, good luck man, and continue to keep your head up! You sound amazingly well in light of everything! Thanks Lexi, I think the only reason for not signing the papers is control! I had turned my phone off for 3 days when i turned it on there was messages from her threatening to damage my car if i didn't pick up the phone!! I saw her last night and i spoke to her about the divorce and the OM she keeps telling me she is no longer seeing him, but after she left my daughter was speaking about him to my mum and how he had smashed a mirror on her car, i called her and said look Our daughter is constantly talking about the OM, she tried to brush it off and was wanting to get of the phone, i said i need you too sign these papers she agreed and said it gives us four months to fix things, she said she will sign the papers just so i would get off the phone. When i was dropping off my daughter this morning her teacher called me over and said that she had spoken to my wife previously regarding my daughter coming to school in the wrong clothing it's still happening ! this is just crap behaviour on her behalf. My life is a bad soap opera Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Thanks Lexi, I think the only reason for not signing the papers is control! I had turned my phone off for 3 days when i turned it on there was messages from her threatening to damage my car if i didn't pick up the phone!! I saw her last night and i spoke to her about the divorce and the OM she keeps telling me she is no longer seeing him, but after she left my daughter was speaking about him to my mum and how he had smashed a mirror on her car, i called her and said look Our daughter is constantly talking about the OM, she tried to brush it off and was wanting to get of the phone, i said i need you too sign these papers she agreed and said it gives us four months to fix things, she said she will sign the papers just so i would get off the phone. When i was dropping off my daughter this morning her teacher called me over and said that she had spoken to my wife previously regarding my daughter coming to school in the wrong clothing it's still happening ! this is just crap behaviour on her behalf. My life is a bad soap opera Good lets hope she signs them soon. This woman has attacked you physically and vandalised your car, next time, report her to the police!! Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Thanks Lexi, I had turned my phone off for 3 days Good for you.. I still wouldn't have bothered calling her back though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted July 14, 2011 Author Share Posted July 14, 2011 Update, I have had very limited cotanct with my wife, i needed to pick up my eldest daughter last night as my wife's car is broken down, i sent her a text asking her to have my daughter ready to as i was going to have to take het to Cross-fit with me, as i went to the door i kissed my youngest, my wife looked me straight in the eye and sai Wow you look fit. i just looked at her and walked off, i turned my phone off! 8.00 am asking me if i wanted to do something this weekend? Then another one saying that she is no longer seeing the other man, and would i like to come to my nieces and nephews party this weekend! I have ignored all of these and will only respond when it's regarding our children. Yesterday for the first time i felt indiffrence towards her ??? Is this part of the healing? Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 I'm proud of you Russell.. that you have the power and knowledge to know that you shouldn't bother with her anymore. Sounds typical, she is crawling back slowly. You are the man, keep it up my friend! Link to post Share on other sites
debtman Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 Yesterday for the first time i felt indiffrence towards her ??? Is this part of the healing? It certainly is...along with a whole set of other emotions that will come and go. Way to stick to your guns on the NC. Sounds like she's already beginning to regret her decision now that the "finality" of it is hitting her and OM isn't the "answer" she was looking for. Funny how they always come poking back around to see if they can somehow repair what they did and get you back once they realize how good they had it. You're doing it all right, especially in regards to your kids. I'm walking the NC/LC line a little differently because I know my stbx will make much more trouble for me if I'm not at least friendly towards her and it's not worth the trouble that she'll cause by letting her know what I think. Good luck and keep posting... Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted July 14, 2011 Author Share Posted July 14, 2011 I'm walking the NC/LC line a little differently because I know my stbx will make much more trouble for me if I'm not at least friendly towards her and it's not worth the trouble that she'll cause by letting her know what I think. ... My wife has attacked me and damaged my car, but i just don't care anymore, she cannot get anymore of assets so why should i care , i can tak e whatever she gives out with interest, i'm still standing! In fact all i have been doing is mourning the ideal of a marriage not my actual marriage where i used to have to walk on eggshells!! There is nothinf like painting your front-room in your underpants listening to AC/DC without someone telling you off. Single life isn't that bad Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted July 14, 2011 Author Share Posted July 14, 2011 I'm walking the NC/LC line a little differently because I know my stbx will make much more trouble for me if I'm not at least friendly towards her and it's not worth the trouble that she'll cause by letting her know what I think. ... My wife has attacked me and damaged my car, but i just don't care anymore, she cannot get anymore of my assets so why should i care , i can tak e whatever she gives out with interest, i'm still standing! In fact all i have been doing is mourning the ideal of a marriage not my actual marriage where i used to have to walk on eggshells!! There is nothinf like painting your front-room in your underpants listening to AC/DC without someone telling you off. Single life isn't that bad Link to post Share on other sites
debtman Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 In fact all i have been doing is mourning the ideal of a marriage not my actual marriage where i used to have to walk on eggshells!! There is nothinf like painting your front-room in your underpants listening to AC/DC without someone telling you off. Single life isn't that bad Classic! Absolutely, single life isn't bad at all! I had the same "eggshell" experience with marriage and I never knew from day to day what I would be coming home to, the nice wife, or the nagger, yelling at me about the latest thing I did wrong. It's amazing the things I've been able to get done and take care of since I've been able to prioritize the projects and needs that I have and take care of things on what I think is the right schedule... NICE! Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted July 14, 2011 Author Share Posted July 14, 2011 Classic! Absolutely, single life isn't bad at all! I had the same "eggshell" experience with marriage and I never knew from day to day what I would be coming home to, the nice wife, or the nagger, yelling at me about the latest thing I did wrong. It's amazing the things I've been able to get done and take care of since I've been able to prioritize the projects and needs that I have and take care of things on what I think is the right schedule... NICE! Debtman, i agree, us guys like to fight for the ideal (keeping our families together!) But when i honestly think about it if i where to take physical aspect out of the equation, i'm so much happier being alone. Link to post Share on other sites
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