robf1971 Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 So, shall just go off the radar for the weekend? Ohh believe me, she Will try to contact you this weekend, it's almost a dead cert. Do something interesting on your own... Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 28, 2011 Author Share Posted January 28, 2011 Ohh believe me, she Will try to contact you this weekend, it's almost a dead cert. Do something interesting on your own... bet she won't, she's stubborn, and will dig her heals in. Rob, when you seperated how mony days would you go without contact? Should i not contact her? Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Rob, when you seperated how mony days would you go without contact? Funny you ask that, we never physically separated. I told her, I'm not paying a penny for it, also that if she went the only communication we would ever have again would be through lawyers. She didn't go... However, she went abroad to stay with her parents for a few weeks when this first started happening, She called, emailed or texted 4 or 5 times per day. I never called her once. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 bet she won't, she's stubborn, and will dig her heals in. Do your thing this weekend, forget about her. If she doesn't call who cares.. If she does, it's probably just going to lead to more drama. Do you really want that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 28, 2011 Author Share Posted January 28, 2011 Funny you ask that, we never physically separated. I told her, I'm not paying a penny for it, also that if she went the only communication we would ever have again would be through lawyers. She didn't go... However, she went abroad to stay with her parents for a few weeks when this first started happening, She called, emailed or texted 4 or 5 times per day. I never called her once. I think you may of had a stronger connection! It's been 10 weeks since we seperated! This is why part of me feels i should file for a divorce and that would push or hand? Or it may push her away for ever? We live 0.7 miles away from each other Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 28, 2011 Author Share Posted January 28, 2011 Rob, what do you think of the above post? Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I think you may of had a stronger connection! It's been 10 weeks since we seperated! This is why part of me feels i should file for a divorce and that would push or hand? Or it may push her away for ever? We live 0.7 miles away from each other Stronge connection? She loved me but wasn't in love with me, She was no longer attracted to me, She wanted out of the marriage, Rinse,wash,repeat. Trust me the same crap as you. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 ! This is why part of me feels i should file for a divorce and that would push or hand? I disagree, because it's not what you want. If she wants a divorce let her do all the heavy lifting. 10 weeks is nothing, zip, nada. You need to start getting your own life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 28, 2011 Author Share Posted January 28, 2011 Stronge connection? She loved me but wasn't in love with me, She was no longer attracted to me, She wanted out of the marriage, Rinse,wash,repeat. Trust me the same crap as you. Do you think filing for divorce will make her wake up? Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I think you may of had a stronger connection! It's been 10 weeks since we seperated! This is why part of me feels i should file for a divorce and that would push or hand? Or it may push her away for ever? We live 0.7 miles away from each other Just think about this weekend, What are you gonna do? Forget Wifey, seriously. Worry about all that stuff on Sunday night. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Do you think filing for divorce will make her wake up? I think it will make you look like a c*ck to her. You are writing a cheque that you can't cash, your not reasy if she says, "great idea". Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 28, 2011 Author Share Posted January 28, 2011 Ok, she has just changed her Facebook password and didn’t ask me anything about it! She has also realized that I have changed my password on EBay and pay pal, so she has opened up new accounts in her own name! I hope this is a good thing? Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Ok, she has just changed her Facebook password and didn’t ask me anything about it! She has also realized that I have changed my password on EBay and pay pal, so she has opened up new accounts in her own name! I hope this is a good thing? No big deal, I hope she is not still using your computer. Total cake eating if she is. She wants to live in a separate house let her gt her own f'ing computer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 28, 2011 Author Share Posted January 28, 2011 Rob, When she came over the other night, she said, she was really hurt when I said I didn’t even like her as this was one of the reasons she left as she genuinely still feels this! She also asked what I loved about her, I never told her! Should I? Should I just get on with it? Or am I in Danger of pushing her even further away if I don’t say anything? Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 28, 2011 Author Share Posted January 28, 2011 Had a text earlier saying new number babe! i honestly wasn't sure who it was from, so i replied who is this, then i got 5 texts back, the last one read jesus Russ it's the mother of your children! i have ignored all of them, feel like **** doing it, but i guess is this is part of the 180 i will have to do it? Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 180 is useless unless you're consistent with it. 180 works best when you live under the same roof. Look into LC. Limited Contact. Only talk about the girls, nothing else!! She knows you love her and all you are doing now is feeding her ego. Why do the 180 when we all know the next chance you get you will be declaring your love for her and giving her a big kiss. She needs the 2 x 4 of reality to the head and nothing does that better than D papers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 28, 2011 Author Share Posted January 28, 2011 180 is useless unless you're consistent with it. 180 works best when you live under the same roof. Look into LC. Limited Contact. Only talk about the girls, nothing else!! She knows you love her and all you are doing now is feeding her ego. Why do the 180 when we all know the next chance you get you will be declaring your love for her and giving her a big kiss. She needs the 2 x 4 of reality to the head and nothing does that better than D papers. Hey Hopes, I know she knows i love her! but look here's the deal i still love her, and belive me when i say this i sometimes do want to hit her around the head with a cricket bat. When i threatened her with divorce she get's terrified, however the way it stands with UK law i can't get a divorce for another 21 months. I'm a fighter abd don't want to give up on my family! Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Do the exact opposite of what your heart tells you to do and think with your brain. Sometimes the only thing that gets them back from the other side is TOUGH LOVE but once you get them back, what do you have? Is it all worth the suffering only for it all to happen again? What has she learned from all this? She is the one that left, she needs to be the one that crawls back to you. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Do the exact opposite of what your heart tells you to do and think with your brain. Sometimes the only thing that gets them back from the other side is TOUGH LOVE but once you get them back, what do you have? Is it all worth the suffering only for it all to happen again? What has she learned from all this? She is the one that left, she needs to be the one that crawls back to you. Yep you gotta be counter intuitive. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Had a text earlier saying new number babe! i honestly wasn't sure who it was from, so i replied who is this, then i got 5 texts back, the last one read jesus Russ it's the mother of your children! i have ignored all of them, feel like **** doing it, but i guess is this is part of the 180 i will have to do it? Ignore them, she is testing you.. Go out enjoy yourself, Write this 100 times then do it. Go away on your own for the weekend.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 28, 2011 Author Share Posted January 28, 2011 Rob, When she came over the other night, she said, she was really hurt when I said I didn’t even like her as this was one of the reasons she left as she genuinely still feels this! She also asked what I loved about her, I never told her! Should I? Should I just get on with it? Or am I in Danger of pushing her even further away if I don’t say anything? What about the above Rob? Am i in danger of pissing her off? Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 What about the above Rob? Am i in danger of pissing her off? Nope, think about this logically. She does not want to be with you, she is the one who has left the marriage. If she really wanted to hear that you loved her she would be knocking on your door to come back right now. You've said it once, she knows thats how you feel. There may well be a stage in the future when it becomes appropriate in the future to pursue he but not now. Link to post Share on other sites
Binster Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Hey Russell love the "who is this" line especially if you were genuine. I know it's too late this weekend but if you get a free weekend again, just think of all the places you could go for a few beers. I just booked to go to Poland for a couple of days, return fare on wizzair about fourty quid, theirs loads of options go for it. And it's a kick in nuts (or whatever) for your old lady when she hears what you've been up to. Polish birds are well fit. Go for it. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Hey Russell love the "who is this" line especially if you were genuine. I know it's too late this weekend but if you get a free weekend again, just think of all the places you could go for a few beers. I just booked to go to Poland for a couple of days, return fare on wizzair about fourty quid, theirs loads of options go for it. And it's a kick in nuts (or whatever) for your old lady when she hears what you've been up to. Polish birds are well fit. Go for it. Yep, or go to Ryanair Web site, close eyes, put finger on screen. Wow 40 quid that is very cool, are Wizzair ok? Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 30, 2011 Author Share Posted January 30, 2011 Well yesterday morning as I was about to leave when she turned up with my girls as she wanted to give a cheque for £300.00 for the money she owes me. When she got here she was very cheerful and said that she still said that she has a bank balance of £3000 so are separation experiment hasn’t cost that much, she once again spoke about moving back in. She then asked if I wanted to go to Ikea with her and the girls, like a fool I said yes, , so we drove there and we got on well, she mentioned moving back in a few times , I didn’t say a word! When we got there things where ok, we walked around looking at all the crap! She told me she didn’t want to commit to anything like cable TV and broadband as she didn’t know what she wanted to do, she then bought up the other day when I said I didn’t want to see her anymore and didn’t even like her, I said that was just rage and was sorry for that, and would love for things to work out, she was clearly uncomfortable and didn’t want to talk about it any more. She then said she didn’t know whether she wanted to come back or not. When then went to the check out she touched my arm and she said wow I actually wanted to touch for the first time in two months.I Was pleased. As we drove home my youngest started to get sick, and when we got home I put her straight to bed, my wife suggested we got a bottle of wine and had a chat as I had said to her earlier in the day that we should make some time for each other, she said she felt a bit uncomfortable as it was pre planned?? THIS IS MEANT TO BE MY WEEKEND ALONE, We spoke she drank, I listened! I said to her I wanted her to be happy at all costs even if that meant being without me!( I lied!) she told me how much I had let her down in our relationship, She then said she wanted to see if we could revive this relationship She said she didn’t want me to wait around for her either, I told her I wasn’t, she said I thought as much as my phone is off a lot of the time, she then said she wasn’t worried about me moving on as she so nice is so nice looking and has such a great personality, that I would never find someone better then her, She then got up said that she is going and lent down and gave me a huge kiss on the lips, I said Wow! She told me not to be silly, nothing has happened like this for 11 weeks. She then left. I was confused, then realised that both of my daughters where asleep upstairs. The following morning she rang @9.25 I had been up since 7.00, she said sorry she had only just woken up, I told her not to worry she turned up a hour a later as she came in she said if you want me to move back in you’d better fix the front of the house, I could see she was hung over!! She was a bit different today I could see , her toned had changed a she was being a bit bitchy!! (Bring up all the failings in our relationship!) When took the girls to a indoor play centre and afterwards we went to lunch!! (we are meant to be separated!!) She then bought up a comment I made years ago I told her that when she got older and lost her looks and her boobs shrunk she would just be left with her bad personality(I used to be horrible to her !) I said I accept how she has changed and she needs to accept that I have changed, she says she doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to do, I said that was fine !! Anyway, back home now! What should I do? Was this weekend a bad move ? Any advice on how to play this out? I haven’t mentioned the future today at all, she said she is coming round to help me paint this week, but I didn’t push it. I’M SO CONFUSED!? Link to post Share on other sites
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