hope my moms not cheating on my dad

[jag10]

hi ive suspect my mother of cheting on my father(hes sort of ill and lives in another state due to job for 6 months now) and ive put together some recent patterns, can you tell me if i should investigate further or be concerned please all suggestions and thoughts would be very very helpful

she started to care alot about her body recently

tans alot more

dresses more younger

hired a young personla trainer(hes the one i suspect)

seems to shop at the mall for a long time, real long and comes back with hardly anything, and our mall is very small and crumy

talks about him(i workout there too, and she seems to "brag" about his looks and apperance over mine)

seems not to want too talk to me on the phone or not answer when i call when she is gone from the house a long time

ive never really heard working out 3 hrs(ps im a bodybuilder)

it seems when she talks about my dad she mentions how shes never been alone and married him right out of high school as if her life is not right or something

when i moved over it seemed as if something had been going on and i was intruding sort of

well if youll could give me your input id appreciate it, i really want to protect my dad, and if something is going on and its up at the gym i want to protect my family's name and respect for myself

thanks hope youll have some insight

[Bryanp]

Hello,

 

I am sorry what you are going through but it seems pretty obvious what is going on and that your mother is engaging in an affair. There is nothing you can do if this is what she wants. I would contact your father and give him this information or simply email this message to him. I think he has a right to know what is going on in his own home and marriage. Your father should have all the information he can get concerning this situation. I wish you luck.

[jag10]

thanks for the reply but until i catch the act i cant say anything to embaress me or my family, are there some other things i should watch for or do, my father has given his life to her and i know he is a very faithful person any suggestions on how to help him out, or just relax my concisness(spelling) would help

thanks

[SoleMate]

It does appear likely that your mother is having an affair. (Not certain, however.) I understand your pain for your father, and your whole family, including your mother and yourself. It seems that your goal is to minimize pain for your father, and disrespectful talk about your mother, as well as guarding your self-respect. I believe that there are several possible paths you can take:

 

1) Disregard what is going on, based on the idea that your mother is an adult who must live her own life, and that disclosure does not reliably protect your father from pain.

 

2) Talk to your mother privately and tell her what you fear she is doing, with the thought that she will get "scared straight".

 

3) Talk to your father and tell him that you are worried your mom is getting too close to her trainer (without talking about your worst suspicions), thus causing him anxiety without necessarily stopping the affair.

 

There are downsides to all of these. I don't know whether your mother having a discreet affair injures your self-respect, or whether you must tell your father your suspicions to feel that you are treating him right.

 

Whatever you decide, please keep in mind that there is plenty about your parents' marriage and sex lives that you do not and should not know. It is entirely possible that your parents have an unspoken agreement that permits this affair, and that they would do almost anything rather than have you pry into their sex lives.