Guest Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 My bf travels alot because of his profession. We've had a good 3yr relat. when i moved with my family to a new country - he came after me,transfered schools and is now living here we talk alot when hes traveling. Mon I went to visit a friend (guy) and when my bf called I didnt pick up. Not that I was doing anything - my friend was with his gf... I didnt pick up to save me trouble (he tends to get a littl' jealous when traveling - despite i have NEVER given him a reason not to trust me). 10min later i called him back. He was really mad. Til this day he still is mad, but says he's not. Link to post Share on other sites
dario Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 You're talking to 'us'. Talk to him. If you haven't done anything wrong - talk to him. One thing I've learnt - open honesty. Be front up and straight out.... Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 I know - thats what i intend to do. problem is timing. I have not been able to really talk about it since the incident. he's still with his friends - so i know anything i say is not really gonna get through to him that was monday. hes coming back to town tomorrow. we have talked everyday since that.. but the conversations are really weird... and im afraid all that time in between is making things worse. i really feel i should be preparing for something..... Link to post Share on other sites
Fedup&givingup Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 The only thing you can do is prepare yourself mentally and emotionally (if that's possible) to hear the worst thing. If he gets jealous easily, that's not a good thing. If he has nothing to worry about in terms of you being faithful to him, he needs that assurance from you. I guess if he does come back and says he wants to break up, and the reason is his feeling uneasy about things, perhaps you could tell him you would do your absolute best to assure him. I will be honest...not picking up the phone when he called wasn't really a good idea. I'm willing to bet there is more to this, and that whole situation in itself has been a chronic issue between you two. Usually people get jealous at the beginning of a relationship, then it slacks up. If you've been together for a long time and he's still jealous, there are other reasons for it. I don't know a thing about him or you to determine what those reasons could be. Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 all i want is to be fair - but not be walked over - i admited there was no real reason not to have picked up the phone - and i admited my mistake. if it had been the other way around I would not have been thrilled either. but he's still making a big deal about it! Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 and it sucks because im 99% sure that happened because he was with his friend. other wise he would not have reacted that way. yep, im preparing for everything i guess... eventhough the last thing i wanna do is break-up. the day before his trip we were even talking about "when we get married and we live..... bla bla bla"..... CONFUSING!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 I would think after 3 years, the relationship should be less fragile. To be in a relationship where you are wondering if it's going to survive after being together for some period of time.....is a red flag. Either the trust, lack of communication or any other number of factors are clouding up the original direction of the relationship. If it can be repaired....depends on the determination of BOTH parties. Good Luck....I hope you guys can work this out! Link to post Share on other sites
Fedup&givingup Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 Then just wait and see. He might still be carrying on the way he is now because of his friend...peer pressure! I wish there was more I could say, but I can't. If you sense something is wrong, then there is something wrong. You and he need to hash out what happened, how it made him feel, how his reaction made you feel, and take it from there. Oh, and discuss how he acts differently when he's with his friend(s)...that's not good, either. Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 thank you to all that have commented. i feel really :S and ansious.... Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 like you all say - and wht my friend told me on fri too... if after 3yrs he cant trust me when I have not given him NEVER reason to not trust me... this relationship its not going anywhere unless he changes his way. think he might be turning his insecurities into my problem Link to post Share on other sites
Fedup&givingup Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 I'm sorry, I know what that feels like. Just do your best to relax. He will be back soon, and you can talk then. You will need to tell him that when he acts like this while he's gone that it drives you nuts...making someone wait on pins and needles isn't too much fun! Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 as im discussing this with you guys.. he sends me a mssg good night. not 100% sweet but i could say 85%... damn CONFUSING! i REALLY need to talk to him. sometimes i feel like this situation is a deja vu... it happened after last summer.. but we had been doing great the last 6months... Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 its really ironic - his jeaolousy... when i moved here and he stayed behind few months doing paper work for his visa - he would be on my case everyday for me to go out, meet people, have friends. and now that i have them - he gets all sensitive! Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 any advice on how to get him to understand things - from a guy's point of view???? i know us women tend to get more emotional about things.... Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted March 22, 2004 Share Posted March 22, 2004 in case some one is following up - my bf got back in town. have not seen each other but been on the phone all afternoon???!!! we have not metioned the incident. things are not great... i think conversation has been ok. but we have not touched the subject. it annoys me not to know what the hell is going on. i ask whats wrong - he says nothing! i wanna tell him to come over, but im thinking of waiting until he brings it up. after all.. ok he was gone - and i really wanna see him - but so should him no???? Link to post Share on other sites
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