HalfAlive22 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 After 2 and 1/2 years of working on things with my H, who betrayed me over and over, I've decided to leave. we love eachother, we have fun together, we have a great sex life, and he can be my bestfriend at times, but I don't trust him, and all I do is obsess over what he's done. I think about the OW all the time, and all the Owomen he's been with..all the time, it's like a black hole in my heart that never goes away. My question is this, will I ever trust anyone, I keep thinking if I leave, I will get better, if he's not in my life I wont have all this betrayel taking over my mind and soul. I'm afraid however, I will never trust anyone, and I will still think about what happend anyway, I know it's crazy to think everything will just dissapear over night, but I'd like some hope that it will eventually go away, and that someday I can move on with someone else, and trust them..any thoughts? tx Link to post Share on other sites
What_Next Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 You gave it your best shot and for that you can always hold your head high and that's something to build on. 2.5 years later to leave though, wow that must really sting and you must really deep down know that you cannot get over this. I have to admit reading your post shook me as I am in the very early stages of reconciling after my wifes affair. Have you tried IC to work through this? In my opinion now that you have chosen to open the next chapter of your life time is on your side. Don't rush anything. WHEN (yes WHEN) you meet the next special person in your life you'll know if you are ready to trust again. I do fully believe as a BS you'll never be the same. I know I won't. Link to post Share on other sites
Spark1111 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 It takes 2.5 to 5 years to overcome infidelity and that is with all the proper steps taken together: honesty, transparency, IC and MC, reading and talking, talking, talking about it all. Have you and your H exhausted all these tools? If you know unequivocally that you will never be able to forgive him, then it is time to move on. The key is to learn to trust yourself again after infidelity and that is no easy task, not when you have suffered the worst betrayal you can. Do you trust yourself? Are you starting to trust yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HalfAlive22 Posted January 19, 2011 Author Share Posted January 19, 2011 We went to mc for 2 years. He does not want to go anymore, he says it makes us fight more and that bringing everything back up doesn't help. He doesn't think he has a problem..that he is done cheating. I've caught him talking and texting to other women whi are suposidly just friends..to me he's not trying and I'm exhausted. Link to post Share on other sites
Goldenspoon Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 We went to mc for 2 years. He does not want to go anymore, he says it makes us fight more and that bringing everything back up doesn't help. He doesn't think he has a problem..that he is done cheating. I've caught him talking and texting to other women whi are suposidly just friends..to me he's not trying and I'm exhausted. Why are you waitng for him to act (cheating) instead of YOU doing the acting (leaving). Take control of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HalfAlive22 Posted January 19, 2011 Author Share Posted January 19, 2011 Why are you waitng for him to act (cheating) instead of YOU doing the acting (leaving). Take control of your life. I thought I made it clear in my post.I alreadyleft..that was not my question. Link to post Share on other sites
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